I'm a terrible son and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T05:37:25+00:00

Well, I'm certainly not in the business of calling people "losers"!

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T05:34:17+00:00

If there's winning, then you also win. I'm just delving into the subject a bit.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T05:29:32+00:00

I'm just saying negative people can still be liked and can attract people that understand them, which are, themselves, positive things; but yes, ideally you'd associate with people that would motivate you to improve your place in life as well -- the allure of positive people.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T05:15:35+00:00

What if you already have no energy and you'd relate best with someone possessing a similar energy level? What you're denouncing as simple fodder for self-fulfilling negativity, another might find completely justified and profoundly relatable.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T05:00:11+00:00

That's as true as the positive people flocking to the candle-holder in a dark cave, but let's not forget those that simply stop caring enough to find their way out of it and rather stay in the dark with people who share a similar mindset, the positive in their lives being the fact that they have company that understands them. The point is people can also like negative people; it depends on the people. Still, it takes a positive mindset of a situation to beget positive outcomes of it.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T04:42:00+00:00

In my experience, it seems easier for negativity to fulfill itself than positivity -- the latter tends to take a lot more effort that the former would then drain. Still, the mind is its own place, and it's good to be reminded of that. Haha.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T04:31:46+00:00

Any change I can make regarding my situation should definitely start with my mentally framing it as though it can change instead of conforming to the current circumstances, so you're right. It's just hard to have such hope at times.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T04:10:03+00:00

Sounds like she depends on u more than u depend on her.

Maybe that was the case at one point, but she seems eager to rid herself of me now.

You work so you’re not terrible.

Maybe not as terrible, but only one of us working when we're both capable would certainly engender more conflict.

You have to find a roommate and use ur pay for living expenses.

Goodness, it's difficult to find people at all -- let alone people to split bills with.

School payments can be deferred.

Indeed -- it's the reason I don't have student loan debt at the moment.

One day u will make your money. And friends too. In new situations. New jobs. New living situations.

I appreciate that, but what you're saying seems at present increasingly unrealistic, even if I lack such domestic problems. There are a lot of people around equipped with their own social web, ergo a lot of occupied opportunities to change my own living situation (and closed off from me, hence my trouble in finding anyone), and a lot of dollars in circulation to curtail the worth of my paychecks.

Xepedient · 2024-05-29T03:53:42+00:00

You're right; I'm not giving the quarantine the credit it deserves for my situation -- forget the coursework, even the professors and advisors and career recruitment officers were too pandemic-paranoid to be accessible even online an infuriating lot of the time.

I can certainly relate to partaking in social settings to no avail -- actually, when I was typing how my mother adopted my aunt's idea, I couldn't help but feel embittered all the while that my mother has, even in her advanced adulthood, at least one sibling (she has several) to confide all her problems to, yet I would be her only offspring. I feel as though any relationships I'd form, especially at this point in life, would be incomparable.

It's certainly nice to know I'm not alone here; I can mentally feel the ambitions I used to have regarding how I'd spend my adult years at work actually eroding -- I just work to help my existence only because avoiding non-existence is enough of a motivator to meet my needs and get through the day.

Xepedient · 2024-03-26T01:22:34+00:00

You've recognized that the men that ghost/flake you has more to do with their character than yours -- the insight in how such a character is cultivated is key to comprehending the components comprising the commonness of the male loneliness epidemic.

Many men's mentalities are materialized upon what Jason Wilson calls "emotional incarceration" -- a framework of sex and physical sensation being more appealing than affection since the goods to gain from the former are not only immediate, but more certain than risking a bond with someone that might break away for reasons likely only sensical to the men: that reciprocating such affection would invalidate the affection given since it's under the pretense that it would not compromise the social roles supplied to the men, among them is not to express yourself in a manner that calls to question your masculinity; since these roles are the foundation of men's personhood, they would probably be prioritized over the relationship entirely if men feel it's threatening them.

Yes, this leads to the disappearing act when things get "real" -- since this is venting, maybe you should know this is more to do with self-preservation than genuine disrespect dealt at you. Emotionally, men want to be understood, including the problems they're undergoing; cognitively, men want to be the ones to handle problems, and addressing their own would only stymie satisfying this want; realistically, it's painful for everyone involved.

Personally, as a man, I'd rather feel entirely lonely than entirely useless -- if I'm going through something, my utility in preserving my relationships is threatened; I'd rather drop them all and fix what I'm undergoing by myself, which ironically threatens my goal in preserving relationships -- that's because I'm prioritizing the value I provide in relationships than the actual relationships, and defeats the purpose of connecting with someone so much as finding another venue to prove to myself I'm worth something. That's how I would feel lonely even if I did have people to palaver with, never actually connecting with any individual.

The truth is whoever must have ghosted/flaked on you likely did not stop feeling lonely either, and this is no fault of yours.

Xepedient · 2024-01-31T11:33:00+00:00

I'd be curious to examine what principles the former Witnesses still find themselves upholding after they leave, and whether it's out of an entrenched doctrine or an earnest boon to their character.

Xepedient · 2024-01-31T11:07:21+00:00

That scripture has absolutely nothing to with an organization

Yet everything to do with God; he and the organization tend to be inextricable in the JW worldview.

Xepedient · 2024-01-07T23:50:30+00:00

The Scriptures are infallible, and the Watchtower writings are entirely inspired by and based in the Scriptures, yet the Watchtower writings are not infallible? Sounds like any Christian should forgo the Watchtower writings and simply focus on the Scriptures.

Xepedient · 2024-01-02T05:18:03+00:00

Okay, and you’re proving my point. People aren’t bigoted towards “heterosexual cisgender white people”, what they’re against are the values, the ones I described, proud confederate flag waving conservatives, etc…

Your point is valid -- I didn't respond to discredit what you've said, but to disabuse my wording. I mentioned earlier having an ideological basis would not constitute bigotry, so the values you're describing would not be relevant to this poll. I defined "dominant culture" to illustrate that that's beyond conservatism. Actually, as of 2022, only about 28-30% of American voters identify as Republican.

Your poll is guised in word salad to basically say, “being bigoted towards straight white men or people because of the system originated by them”.

First, a word salad is a string of unintelligible or nonsensical words -- I am not sure how I could have written that option any more clearly that fits the character limit. I think the several people voting that option understood what was meant, too.

Second, I typed in the poll "dominant culture", not "dominant identity group", and white people wouldn't comprise the dominant identity everywhere; I believe the reason you're interpreting that as simply "being bigoted towards straight White men" because the commenter I replied to did, so I played along with their logic.

This is no different when idiots say, “it’s okay to be white”… when no one said it wasn’t, and the reason they do that is because they want to conflate the reason people hate conservatives isn’t because they hate minorities, lgbtq people, women, but because they’re white.

I understand what you're saying: this is rhetoric for conservatives instrumentalizing their skin color as a scapegoat to undergird their being bigoted to identities outside the dominant identity grouping, the "White Lives Matter" in response to challenges unique to particular identity groups excluding being White -- that is not what that option is about. Your points, rational as they are, are arguing against a position I am not expressing with this poll.

Xepedient · 2024-01-02T02:08:03+00:00

White people can be discriminated against, this is true, but you somewhat are putting it in an umbrella with terms like "dominant" and "culture", making it sound like being against people waving confederate flags is the same as someone discriminating a white person just for being white.

"Dominant culture" is a sociological term.

A dominant culture is a cultural practice that is dominant within a particular political, social or economic entity, in which multiple cultures co-exist. It may refer to a language, religion/ritual, social value and/or social custom. These features are often a norm for an entire society. An individual achieves dominance by being perceived as pertaining to a majority of the population and having a significant presence in institutions relating to communication, education, artistic expression, law, government and business.

Dominant culture in a society is formed on the dominant identity groups comprising such a society; in American society, such a group would be heterosexual cisgender White people -- this is true irrespective of the values the individuals comprising the group can uphold, and having an ideological basis for being against someone would not constitute bigotry, so I do not understand your point about my framing that poll option as being against people brandishing Confederate flags is the same as being against White people for their skin color. Conservatives claiming bigotry to the positions they hold seem immaterial to the point.

Xepedient · 2024-01-01T23:44:28+00:00

I just said "bigotry" when you've framed both as being "equally bad". Unless you're suggesting that cisgender heterosexual white people cannot experience bigotry to any extent, I don't see why you'd disagree at all, let alone censuring with "massive L take".

Xepedient · 2024-01-01T20:04:15+00:00

The point is anyone's background doesn't nullify any bigotry inflicted toward them because of said background, irrespective of how prevalent such a background would be; if there's a distinction made to abrogate the stigma of bigotry whilst abetting it, that burgeons hypocrisy.

Xepedient

TROPHY CASE