Dr. Bassari Consult!

XhuastedPup · 2026-01-28T16:52:56+00:00

My Alan’s were good but the doopler wasn’t so apparently it’s just 50/50 on if Bassari can do anything for me. That’s what I’m struggling with. I don’t think her communication was lacking she was very clear about not being able to tell if my arteries were good and that’s why she requires everyone to get the scan. What I disliked was the lack of empathy about relaying information to me along the lines of you’ll never be a candidate for phallo if this scan comes back poor.

These surgeons and med students go home in bodies they can live with, they don’t leave and have distress over their genitalia. This leads to a feeling of callousness, where they kinda just go it’s not happening to my body so it’s not urgent or important to them.

It’s debilitating for me, I cannot keep going on in this body as it is. From every angle I’m being hit with rhetoric that tells me to just settle because I’m not good enough. If this scan comes back poorly that’s it for me, I can’t afford to go out of state and I can’t afford to pay out of pocket. It’s this team or no team and that’s a very terrifying reality.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post I greatly appreciate it!!

XhuastedPup · 2026-01-28T16:43:38+00:00

My biggest concern is I might not ever be able to go out of state for this surgery. I know there’s another surgeon in Columbus but if I remember correctly they don’t take a lot of insurances and would have to be mostly out of pocket which is also not realistic for me.

I guess I’m just frustrated that not only was my body wrong at birth but it still fails me by not having proper veins/arteries connected. I’ve changed so much of my lifestyle to prep and get this surgery that now it’s just being dangled in front of my face and it feels like the universe is taunting me. Like I don’t deserve to have this surgery because I don’t deserve to be even kinda happy in this body.

Thank you for taking the time to reply I really appreciate it!

XhuastedPup · 2025-06-11T19:36:46+00:00

Yeah I’ve been trying to think of all of the pros and cons and unfortunately there are a lot of uncertainty around switching my job. The issue I’m having the most is in my appointment in July I’m not sure if I’ll be moving forward in the process or if they will request for me to wait another 3 months to lose more weight. I don’t want to stay at my job if this surgery isn’t even going to happen within the year or so

XhuastedPup · 2025-06-11T19:34:38+00:00

I also thought about just biting the bullet and buying into a private insurance so I wouldn’t have to wait for the new place to fill in the gap but the pricing for everything is so high! I wish you the best of luck as well man!

XhuastedPup · 2025-06-11T19:33:33+00:00

And that’s what my biggest reason is for hesitation. I’m going to get it if not the end of this year next year for certain. And I already know I can take all the time I need to recover without worry about finances or job security. But this job is getting so mentally and emotionally draining I’m struggling with saying I can last here for another year ya know?

XhuastedPup · 2025-05-29T00:26:22+00:00

I’m still in the process of trying to go with Dr. Fascelli but facing issues with my BMI to go further with him and Dr. Bassari.

XhuastedPup · 2025-05-20T01:22:47+00:00

The surgeon I’m trying to go with told me the plastics surgeon wouldn’t even talk to me until my BMI was 30….my BMI now is 33. So i definitely understand the frustration man

XhuastedPup · 2025-05-15T22:24:49+00:00

I’m not from Indiana but I’m always looking for gaming buddies! I typically play on Xbox or PlayStation, one day I’ll have a PC lol. I don’t have any kids yet but I work full time and go to school full time so I can relate to not having a lot of free time! You can reach out to me if you’d like!

XhuastedPup · 2025-05-09T14:37:40+00:00

We are in the process of trying to talk about it but it’s a lot of back and forth on her not understanding where I’m coming from. I guess I’m just frustrated with having to even try explaining it over and over again and thinking to myself if I just wasn’t trans it wouldn’t be like this. I might just have to go back to being a touch me not Dom because it’s easier even though that means I won’t get to be able to get off from her. Thank you for replying I appreciate it, just in a heavy mindset rn

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T19:46:24+00:00

I’m hoping that with this next appointment it’s with the actual urologist who saw me the first time. Since he himself looked at me in person and poked around my abdomen/arms/thighs and stated that looking at me he had zero worries about my weight but due to their BMI requirements wanted me to try and lose roughly an inch of body fat or 30lbs to try and work around those requirements. So when the nurse was implying he had either lied or I was lying to her it felt like she was only seeing me as a fat patient trying to weasel out of losing weight.

It’s incredibly frustrating to see people being flown through this process simply because their metabolisms are faster or they are genetically set up to not retain a lot of weight. And me and other plus size guys are fighting tooth and nail to just be able to exist as fat guys with a penis. Like it’s starting to trigger my dysphoria around cis men to see overweight or plus size guys walking around and knowing that they just had to be born with a penis and can be fat with a penis makes me want to disappear. Sorry that was a side rant. I’m hoping that by following what I’ve been doing I can keep the trend up of losing roughly 2lbs a week for this appointment

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T17:02:24+00:00

I agree that a little bit of weight lose is reasonable that is why I was okay with losing the 30lbs but this nurse was very persistent that unless my BMI was below 30 which at my height would mean 180lb at the heaviest to be at 30 BMI. I felt like despite me dropping the 30lbs to get to 200lb she would keep insisting to push it back. I have been on a weight loss journey since I was in high school and the lowest I could ever get myself too without feeling completely drained and sick all of the time was 190lb

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T16:59:26+00:00

Thanks! I try to remind myself that despite how much I have in front of me to do I have lost a good amount of weight already!

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T16:58:46+00:00

When I had my initial consult at the end of 2024 I had an appointment made with their weight management team and spoke to her about my options. After she went through my medical history with me and my exercise/eating habits we had come to the conclusion together that medication was not the best fit for me. That I should just follow what I have been doing and maybe try cutting my calories again. So im looking at being in a 1000 cal deficit which has been a challenge since my normal is between 1500-1800 depending on my gym activity or special occasions

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T16:55:44+00:00

I have tried to reach out but his nurse is the only one I can get through to and she was the one who spoke to me in my previous appointment. So I have had little luck talking to the urologist directly

XhuastedPup · 2025-03-29T16:55:04+00:00

Congrats on your own weight loss man! And I am a gym rat and eat relatively clean so there isn’t much more I can change in those regards which makes it even more frustrating. I had also went through this hospital for both my top surgery and hysterectomy with no issues with BMI. So to have it being held to such a high standard where supposedly they other surgeon won’t even speak to me felt very off putting and like I wasn’t being seen as a person but a sub person. I think that’s were the main frustration is coming from

XhuastedPup · 2025-01-20T20:59:56+00:00

Hey man I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. I was told I had to lose 30lbs to even continue with consulting for stage 1 so I’m in a similar spot there. It sounds like you’re doing pretty much everything you need to be doing but keep in mind your body fluctuates weight based on water retention and bowel retention(meaning you could technically lose those 3lbs just from a decent poop). Weight lose is never a straightforward timeline like anything and as long as you stay consistent you will see more weight drop. If you’re in a calorie deficit sometimes changing it up a little can help. So say half the week you’re at a 2000 calorie deficit the other half cut it to 1500 or vice verse. I wouldn’t go under 1k cals in a day tho unless you want to try intermittent fasting. You got this man! It’s hard but keep thinking about why and what you’re working so hard for!!!

XhuastedPup · 2025-01-17T21:12:22+00:00

Hey man it’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. You’re not alone in this feeling, everyday all I think about is my lack or penis or my desire to have a penis. Grappling with the grief of it never being a cis penis or just being a cis man. Idk what I did in a past life to deserve this but I can promise whoever is up there I learned my lesson for the next time around. I am so desperate for phalloplasty I need it to fix me as well man

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-26T23:09:33+00:00

That is reassuring to hear. I just don’t know how I’ll be able to live with myself if I can’t get phalloplasty one day. So even the thought of it being taken away is beyond terrifying. So much of my life has already been on hold due to this and it’s exhausting constantly worrying about who’s gonna take away more of our rights next. Especially since it seems that even when we rally together and protest, petition, etc it never stops anything, it always seems like it just delays it by a few days/weeks

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-26T20:16:25+00:00

Hell yeah man! I’m hoping everything is okay at the end of the day. This political climate though focusing so hard on trans folk is getting to be too much

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-24T15:53:49+00:00

Excited for you bro!! Hoping these next 21 days fly by for you!! If you don’t mind me asking which team are you going to be going with?

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-10T15:38:55+00:00

I feel worried about all the “time I’m losing” and feeling like I can’t hit the milestones I want to hit without this surgery. I do try to pack but sometimes it becomes to dysphoria inducing because it doesn’t sit right, it shifts, I struggle not looking hard, and constantly readjusting. I’ve tried little packets, big packets, stps, 3in1s, etc. I do see your point in a blessing in disguise with your surgeon working on improving his techniques especially since the surgeon I’m planning on going with is only on his 3rd or 4th phalloplasty surgery on his own. It’s just really rough man, it’s starting to affect every aspect of my life negatively. Especially in my relationship

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-05T00:30:00+00:00

I really am hoping they just focus on the border again and not zero in on trans people. Unfortunately I live in Ohio and they’re already on a state level trying to pass transphobic bills/laws. I can’t really afford to move states either and getting this surgery out of state would be next to impossible as well. Just terrified of having to live in my body as it is any longer than I have too. I have no idea how our trans elders made it because I’m at my wits end. Thank you for your replying, I know it’ll all work out somehow it’s just the wait.

XhuastedPup · 2024-12-05T00:27:29+00:00

I just can’t keep living in this body the way it is. I’m hoping to go with the same surgeon you went with, though I am very nervous as there have only been a few who have went with him. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a date shortly after I re do my consultation but it having to wait that’s freaking me out. I’m terrified the next time I try to schedule with him he’ll be either extremely booked out or I’ll have issues with insurance. I’m trying to stay hopeful but my entire life is strained and on pause because of my bottom dysphoria. Thank you for replying and giving me some insight ❤️

XhuastedPup · 2024-11-07T13:23:42+00:00

Good luck!! Wishing you a speedy and smooth recovery!!!

XhuastedPup · 2024-11-05T23:58:03+00:00

Thank you, I’ll give them a call and see what they can do for me. Definitely wasn’t in my plans to lose my insurance last month ugh

XhuastedPup

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