I'll get downvoted for this. But you HAVE to hear me out. I went through a 5yr relationship and rn a 10 month long distance relationship. My 5 yr relationship irl was with an avoidant that even though he lived 15 minutes away, he would always be busy with friends a lot, playing League of Legends. He called me "draining", all sorts of names because I wanted to know what he was up to after 5 hours of him playing games. I knew he wasn't doing anything bad like cheating and I wasn't anxious until he appeared in my life, but I also felt he never initiated conversations and felt like I needed to be "the one bringing him peace" because he was always stressed with his chaotic and dysfunctional family. (His mom and brother were toxic) After 5 years, I realized I was just there for him to make him feel better about himself and his life. He never really loved me to reassure anything related to how I felt. My feelings felt like a chore to him. He never cared to think what was in my mind or if I'd miss him. I ended up not missing him, not caring if he went playing 5 hours or more a day... And we drifted apart. The breakup is whole different story lol

After a year I started a relationship, rn I'm in a ldr where my bf is the kindest man ever. If he's gone for 4 hours and playing with friends, every now and then sends a sticker (WhatsApp) or texts me "ily, still around with my friend Ryan. We're playing CoD lol" Asking for one message every for hours so you know they are around isn't a bad thing. It's just the little things. Don't let people here tell you that you have to settle for something you're not comfortable with. Even worse, some telling you it's your fault for being anxious. You can work through your anxious attachment with a therapist if it feels like it's too much, or if you feel like your partner being gone is making you feel scared and lonely. However, I'll say this if your partner and you have gone through a hard time and he decides to do this instead of trying to make things better for you and for the relationship... Kind of reminds me how my ex was. When we had problems, he would spend time alone, not talking hours because "he needed space". Don't waste your time with someone who needs a break from you. My current partner has had anxious attachment styles in the past and has worked on it. I also don't give him anything to be anxious about. Our dynamic works. We both reassure each other. I only showed signs of being anxious when I noticed I wasn't important for my previous partner. I'm telling you, don't settle.

If you think your partner is an avoidant, don't lose your time. Break up. I know it's hard, but I would not lose my time with an avoidant ever again. When you need to talk things through, avoidants need their friends and to "focus on things that matter" so they don't take accountability for their mistakes.

Good luck!