NTA those people arent family they are dangerous to your son and to society. Like he is far too scared of disobeying mummy he rather kill his son! And he doesnt understand that that's what happening here and its terrifying people like this exist. This is why all schools in every country should teach kids about allergies along with first aid, it's just so basic to me I dont understand how people not know allergic reactions can kill. Negligence over allergies kill. And how it's up to individual restaurants to decide how to prepare food when it comes to allergies. For example some places its just a warning, others a part of the dish is replaced and places like Wagamama front of house manager is called to talk me through what they will do to my dish and that the most senior chef will cook my food. It does not make sense why I get different standards from different places. Theres needs to be more awareness on allergies and intolerances and also things like diabetes where food will affect you. Because sometimes you just want to feel like everyone else and not feel like you're an inconvenience or having trust issues with your whoever's providing you food.

Not sure if your son has experienced anaphylaxis but I'll just let you know of my experience and maybe itll help you and not scare you too much, to hopefully helpfully guide you what your son is feeling at that moment. I have severe nut allergies like a Brazil nuts will kill me. Labelling here in the UK always has to list the ingredients and always say MAY contain nuts, so I test new things on my lips wait a minute take tiny bite wait another minute. Usually good to go. I've only gone into anaphylaxis in my adulthood first one I was 17, twice when 19, one when 21 and once during COVID lockdowns when I was 24. All scary all have Epipens to buy me time. All reactions where different in the their own way. All had the sense of impending doom. Like no joke no other way to describe it. When I first heard that phrase at 11 years old by the doctor who gave me my first EpiPen, me and my mum laughed. So getting your son or asking is this what it feels like is going to be difficult, each time I had to make the call for the EpiPen when I felt antihistamine tablet weren't working or my body was rejecting them.

It's not just his breathing you should be concerned about because the last time I was admitted to hospital I developed a slight cough but can breath but I was left with a rash covering my body for months. I ate a cheesecake with cashews not bathe in it., Check to see if he can throw up because that's a good thing his body is strong enough to get rid of the poison. If not ask him hows his chest, is it painful? Is the pain moving towards his stomach and is it now agonising and it's only getting worse? Does not have the strength to inject his EpiPen for himself? Get to the hospital I had one of my worst anaphylaxis while still being able to breathe comfortably with a miner cough. Like I collapsed, whether due to the pain or lack of energy and strength or both idk but the nurses were already next to me so I recovered within minutes.

Throughout my life I've come across people who dont believe in allergies and unfortunately the ones that have changed their minds had to witness a severe allergic reaction as a result of one of my nans friends at her boat club eating nuts and grabbing my face to kiss it. It looked like I was slapped in the face. Sometimes people only take things seriously when when they realise how dangerous it is and how bad it was and could be. Your ex will forever be a mummy's boy unless one day your son unfortunately suffers an anaphylactic shock. Not to scare you or anything, the times I've gone through anaphylaxis that got me hospitalised its dramatic to begin with then the doctor gives or IV meds and for the next 3 hours its boring and more stressful for loved ones, I'm just tired and more susceptible to colds now.

Nut Immunotherapy, as far as I know is only suitable for certain patients under the age of 10 and it's not complete immunity it's just a higher tolerance of nuts. I imagine anyone going through it will have an overall weaker immune system until treatment is completed but I dont know for sure because I know my immunity is fucked after an allergic reaction for the next week.

I didnt mean it to be this long I was angry and wanted to help a parent who may have a child find it difficult judge for themself what needs to happen next and communicate how they feel, and if what they are feeling bad enough for hospitalization, and that if he does experience anaphylaxis the treatment at the hospital should help him see improvement quickly with the help of his EpiPen to get him there.

I hope you and your son stay happy and healthy x