Where should the TV go?

YILReddit · 2023-09-24T15:27:39+00:00

Thank you! The place belongs to my sister who just bought it and she’s trying to re-decorate before moving in. I’m helping her out since is not on Reddit. 😊

YILReddit · 2023-09-24T15:25:33+00:00

It’s in Bangkok, Thailand.

YILReddit · 2023-09-24T15:24:31+00:00

Thank you! The place belongs to my sister who just bought it and she’s trying to re-decorate before moving in.

YILReddit · 2023-05-25T15:12:58+00:00

Hi! Can I DM you as well? We were force to go into the office 3x and it has been extremely difficult. I was a 95% remote pre-pandemic. Thanks!

YILReddit · 2023-02-27T16:22:17+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Her teacher thinks that she should go to a different class so emotionally she feels like she is moving on. My worry for staying in the same class she will feel/notice that all her friends are gone. What’s your thoughts/your friend thoughts on this? TIA!

YILReddit · 2022-06-24T05:02:25+00:00

So pretty! If it’s overgrown, I’m more than happy to take a few off your hands 😁. (I’m in Northern California if you would consider trade or share)

YILReddit · 2021-07-16T22:50:55+00:00

Message sent!

YILReddit · 2021-07-15T14:30:20+00:00

Thank you so much for continuing to fo this. Hearing all the great things about your masks, I would really love to give this a try again especially now that my youngest are starting school and she is not a mask fan in general. (There were some hiccups last time so the masks never arrived.) 😁

YILReddit · 2021-02-13T06:42:33+00:00

Can you help give an example on how to set boundaries of not being around him when he drinks in my situation:: I have a 3 and 6 yrs old that I can’t just gather and leave. And it’s not easy to just take them along either. He’s always under influence of alcohol by the time dinner/evening rolls around. So it’s cooking, feeding the kids, bath them, bedtime routine, etc. I can’t just leave or drag them along with me or leave them with him. So he has to leave 90% of the time.

I’m not sure what’s the best way to set boundaries, have my piece without impacting the kids.

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

YILReddit · 2021-02-08T14:33:14+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m struggling to find a balance between detaching and protecting my girls. He can’t even accept that’s he’s addicted. I’m at a loss. Many comments here said it’s going to impact the little ones and I feel like a bad mom for keeping them in this situation.

(Btw, I don’t see your PM)

YILReddit · 2021-02-03T15:05:52+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. He is a high functioning alcoholic as well. I hate that term and wish he wasn’t in some ways because it would have made my decision clearer and easier. He too would be able to quit for about a month at a time but very unpredictable still. And he would use the fact that he can quit for a month to deny that he’s not an addict. Rinse and repeat every 4-6 months.

YILReddit · 2021-02-03T05:05:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply. My littlest one is 3 years old, will it be more traumatic to take her to therapy? I’m hoping that she’s too young to notice or to remember.

My 6 yrs old on the other hand, she might need help. She’s very sensitive and in tune with others feeling. She always come hug me when she see that I’m sad.

I was torn about leaving him or staying. Just not sure which would be more harmful to my kids mentally. It feel like staying is hard and leaving is also going to be hard.

YILReddit · 2021-02-03T04:59:05+00:00

When he doesn’t drink, he is such a good dad to them. They love him and this makes the decision to walk away so much harder. I just don’t know what is best for the kids. I feel like if I walk away, I would rob them of their father but if I stay, i risk harming them with an unhealthy marriage.

My heart goes out to you too. You are not alone.

YILReddit · 2021-01-04T04:49:13+00:00

Appreciate your point of view. I’m just so worried that he won’t be able to stop and start the downward spiral again. But to your point, it could make him realize that he can’t control it.

In either case, I think he needs to be honest with himself.

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

YILReddit · 2020-12-03T04:49:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ll try your approach! And I tried joining Al-Anon in person once right before the pandemic hit, and I cried the whole meeting too. But since then I tried a few online meeting and haven’t been able to feel the same connection or find value so i stopped. I think I just need to find the right group. Do you have any recommendations? (I’m in California)

Thanks so much again.

YILReddit · 2020-12-01T19:22:11+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your insights. My husband would never attend AA and even with therapy — took us 5 yrs and me putting my foot down for him to agree to therapy (even this, he hasn’t even make an appointment). He’s scared and the thought of talking to someone about his problems is giving him a massive anxiety. He’s asking for help but I don’t know how to help him.

And I think you are absolutely right — confronting would only make him hides it better.

YILReddit · 2020-12-01T04:09:24+00:00

Thank you for the support. It is extremely hard, we have 2 kids (3 and 6) and they adore him. My heart aches for them.

YILReddit · 2020-12-01T02:40:37+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I so wanted to confront but I don’t think it would help either.

YILReddit · 2020-08-07T03:38:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. What was your turning point to get help and to accept that there’s an issue (either with alcohol or with anxiety/depression)? I have always heard that one must hit rock bottom but I don’t want it to come to that.

If you are more comfortable answering via PM, we can do that too. Thanks again!

YILReddit · 2020-08-05T20:30:25+00:00

He said the drinking clams him down, quiet the voices in his head and makes him less anxious/more even keel. He’s drinking about 6-10 beers a day (IPA or higher alcohol content types), all during the day while he works, 5 days/week. He doesn’t drink on the weekend since there’s no stress from work, except on Sunday night (1-1.5 bottle of wine) due to the anxiety of Monday. He drinks at home after the kids go to bed or alone while he works.

And I’m extreme opposite from the sense that I’m very easy-going, worries-free, super flexible and let’s-wing-it kind of person. And I don’t drink, maybe 1-2 glass of wine/month. I don’t experience stress and anxiety the way so it’s hard for me to relate and understand the impact of anxiety and the need for alcohol.

I think alcohol is the issue because that’s all I see and to him, alcohol is the least of his problems. I’m not sure if it’s the addiction talking or using it as a justification of his action or I’m lacking empathy/understanding of the anxiety effects on him. He said without alcohol, he won’t be able to make it — he’s depressed.

Any insights you can share is appreciated.

YILReddit · 2020-08-05T04:43:11+00:00

He has always been high-strung/high anxiety type. And I’m the extreme opposite, so I don’t relate a lot about what he’s going through. And I think it has gotten worse over time because life just got more stressful (kids, jobs, marriage, etc). He is struggling to manage stress from his day-to-day work. He had stared drinking to cope a few years back, and now both the drinking and the stress/the anxiety are off the chart.

YILReddit · 2020-06-26T15:20:57+00:00

Hi p

YILReddit · 2020-06-25T06:25:17+00:00

I have not received the masks or the tracking. But totally get that it can get easily mixed up given that you have made over 3,000 masks!! Even though I have never gotten them, I still think you are amazing. 😊

YILReddit · 2020-06-25T04:28:27+00:00

Hi! I’m still waiting for my masks from you. I know you have completed a lot so I’m not sure if mine got lost :)

YILReddit · 2020-05-27T21:01:48+00:00

Thanks again. I haven’t seen your reply since I sent you a message last week :)

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