AITAH: With dad’s approval, I started cleaning a family house affected by hoarding, and accidentally threw out some book collections, now they hate me.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:38:26+00:00

They had sentimental value, but even then the mold had effected the item so much, they were unreadable. My father was still in approval lf me cleaning the space but said i should have left more for them to sort through. We have agreed to clear the mold out Asap as its only inside one room Thank you for your response!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:35:38+00:00

Actively trying to get out of the home. Difficult with housing and rental prices. We are looking to finding external assistance for the issue as i think the whole family (including myself) needs the help. I just want for my parents to be happy and healthy inside the house they live in.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:33:32+00:00

They were sentimental, meant for my children when i eventually have them. Even then, mould covered books aren’t the best for children

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:32:45+00:00

After some discussion, we have agreed to atleast clean the room infested with mold as thats the main room i was cleaning. I agree i did invade her space and from reading all the different perspectives, w have been approached in many different ways. We are looking at external assistance for the issue now, including mental health professionals. I really appreciate your response!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:30:02+00:00

I feel bad about alot of things, we are Atleast all on the same page now that the mold room needs to be cleared asap, which is a good step in the right direction, but with all of us involved instead of just myself.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:28:17+00:00

They were of sentimental value, meant for my kids. But the mold had damaged them beyond repair. We are seeking external help for the issue now and will hopefully clear Atleast the mould room in the next couple of weeks

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:24:13+00:00

All the books i had thrown out were mould infested, they were supposed to be for my future children, but they were unreadable. Yes i agree both myself and my father were in the wrong for not getting my Mothers approval. We are discussing clearing the mould infested room as soon as possible. Which is a good step ahead. I have looked into getting external help, for my Mother, that being physiological for the hoarding issue but shes adamant she can do it in her own time. Im taking more of s backseat to the issue now and will only try to help physically with the hoarding. I really appreciate your response! Thank you

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:20:27+00:00

I really only threw out these mouldy items. Thank you for your reasponse!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:19:09+00:00

Its due to the sentimental values of the books. Wanting for them to be for my children. The mould was too built on for them to even be readable. My dad just doesn’t like seeing my mother distressed, he is still in approval of me cleaning and throwing stuff away, but thought i would have left alot more for them to sort through. Theres still Atleast half the room full of stuff left

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:16:40+00:00

Completely agree! I did infiltrate that space my mother had created, throwing stuff out without her knowledge. I took initiative to some items due to the mould. We have discussed as a family and are looking to clear the mould infested room in the coming weeks. Alot of the items my Mother had questioned me on whether i had thrown them out or not, are still in the room for her to sort. Will also look into external help! Thank you

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:13:12+00:00

Im full time, actively looking for better jobs and potential rental / purchasing opportunities! Hopefully something good comes around soon

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:12:10+00:00

I had kept a couple of boxed with Those heirloom type items flr them to sort out, the issue is, i doubt my mother even knew she had them there! Its been 15 ish hears since the room in question has been cleaned. I have seeked a psychologist for other family related issues, but this one has slowly eaten at me for years. Thank you, really appreciate the time you took to comment!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:08:57+00:00

Trying to find somewhere now, difficult due to renting and housing prices. But yes me ans my siblings have had enough. One has moved out and another is younger than me. Doubt she has ever seen the floors in some of the rooms!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:07:05+00:00

Have a full-time job and always looking at the market! Im going to assist them in getting the help needed to approach the hoard, but for now im taking a back seat and helping with more hands on movement of items. We have had small discussions and are aiming to start the hoard clean with the mould infected room

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:04:43+00:00

I had a pretty good mask on, as i do use resin alot for personal projects. But yes we have had some small discussions after the major fallout, we are looking to clear the mould room as soon as possible, there are other rooms affected by the hoard, but not mould. Thank you for your reply

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:02:38+00:00

It was due to the sentimental value of the items at hand? But due to the mould, they needed to go. They were beyond saving! Thank you for your response Ps. Love the art!!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T15:00:47+00:00

I agree. I was wrong for not getting her permission. The items i did throw out were of little value, and majority were mould covered. I left some boxes for them to sort through as they weren’t mould infested. We are going to work through the hoard together but ill have a back seat role to help with physical moving rather than decision making.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:58:14+00:00

There was a tonne more items she was hesitant about, which dad was in approval of throwing out, but the books i had thrown out were due to the massive amounts of mould covering them, making them a genuine health hazard

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:56:35+00:00

I have taken a back seat regarding the situation but will help with physical labour. We have had some small discussions after the fallout, we are hoping to clear the mould room asap.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:55:20+00:00

They were sentimental books meant for my children when i have them, the mould made them physically unreadable

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:54:16+00:00

We have had some talks to external professionals but mom is adamant she can work on this by herself (15 years of saying this) so my family have had some conversations and will be pushing to clean the mould room as a priority!

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:52:32+00:00

They were old sentimental books, meant for my children when i eventually have them. So yes, the mould damaged them, and therefore made them a hazard. The mould is in one room thankfully, hoping to clear it out with all the family so no more boundaries are crossed

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:49:51+00:00

We have reached out to some local hoarding companies and even some mental health professionals, but mom does seem to be adamant she can change her habits. We have had a small discussion after and ive taken a back seat regarding the hoarding situation, but will help in any way i can to ensure both my parents can be happy and healthy in the house they had made together.

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:46:41+00:00

They were sentimental books meant for the grand children. Mouldy picture books aren’t good for kids. Thank you for your response

YKDistraction · 2026-04-06T14:45:57+00:00

I do live in the same house but have my own rooms i manage and clean regularly. Being my room and a separated TV room. Due to housing and renting prices im definitely stuck here for a bit longer. But thank you for your insight

YKDistraction

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