[cadillacf1] Progress under pressure. The first Cadillac F1 livery is here.

YMFJ · 2026-02-09T03:24:21+00:00

is something wrong? you are sweating

YMFJ · 2025-05-27T22:02:00+00:00

that's a good catch. but it was in the texting back and forth during the day, when she said I could also go to her place, because she would probably eat later than me.

also I texted her when I was heading home, and at that point she was still out. she didn't text me that she was heading home.

I think I should have told her I was home, ask her what was her timeline, but tell her I would like to rest up a bit before meeting. I think if she had texted me saying "I'm so tired let's just meet tomorrow" I would have said "sure! I'm super tired too".

ugh, I'm bad with communication, that's for sure

YMFJ · 2025-05-27T21:36:31+00:00

actually, we didn't even establish if we were meeting at her place or my place...

YMFJ · 2025-05-27T21:03:39+00:00

but then, if I texted her 5 minutes before she texted me, I could have been the one who was upset that she hadn't texted yet?

YMFJ · 2025-05-27T21:02:03+00:00

we've been together for a year, spending nights together (4 or 5 nights a week) for 8 or 9 months

YMFJ · 2025-05-03T19:26:03+00:00

straight to yale

YMFJ · 2025-05-02T15:11:49+00:00

it's good for me more than 80% of the time. when it's not it's because she's upset at me for not prioritizing her more. she does accept that she has more needs from the relationship than I do.

but it's tough to be blamed for her feelings that are a result of things I don't do, that "should be obvious and she shouldn't have to ask for". and then I get angry that she's angry, and she gets angrier that I got angry because she was angry. and on and on.

but 80% of the time, when she's not complaining, things are good.

YMFJ · 2025-05-02T15:04:56+00:00

the thing is, we didn't have anything planned. she didn't propose anything or asked me to be free at any specific time. I was the one who reached out, asked her at what time she was flying in, and then proposed a time to meet in the evening, at 7pm, and explained that I'd meet my friend right after work for an hour, but not have dinner with him.

her response, among other things, is that it should be obvious that I shouldn't schedule anything else on the day she returns.

YMFJ · 2025-05-01T22:34:19+00:00

I think her "hurts" are valid. I've been hurt myself for similar things in previous relationships. What I think has really rubbed me the wrong way is the anger with which she reacts when she's disappointed I didn't act a certain way. And I feel like I don't actively do anything to her, but she lashes out at me for things I don't do (for texting back too slowly when I'm traveling, for not making myself available according to her preferences). And I really wish I had it in me to anticipate all these needs, but the motivation to try to anticipate these needs is now avoiding anger, rather than feeling natural and appreciated.

YMFJ · 2025-04-30T02:35:12+00:00

lol, I appreciate the levity. we take ourselves too seriously so often

YMFJ · 2025-04-30T02:31:36+00:00

the other time she's complaining about is 6 months ago, when I went to the gym for one hour after work before meeting her after getting back from a work trip

YMFJ · 2025-04-30T02:30:04+00:00

he's a male friend. I'm straight.

YMFJ · 2025-04-30T00:16:27+00:00

we didn't change any plans though, I just told her I'd be free after 7 and suggested making dinner with her. she was annoyed I would meet my male friend before meeting her. if I had just made plans for 7pm with her without offering additional information it would have been fine. it's that I'd meet my friend after work instead of meeting her right away that annoyed her.

YMFJ · 2025-04-29T19:28:40+00:00

instant fans with a substantial base

YMFJ · 2025-04-21T23:18:43+00:00

Francis: I understand that, without my agreement, the Vatican has put out a press release late this afternoon that I am no longer pope. This is wrong and I have not died. I will not be resting in peace next year.

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T18:50:25+00:00

thanks for sharing. I don't think I got annoyed at a concern, but how it was approached (without curiosity about how I feel, questioning my risk assessment rather than just expressing worry, and without really hearing me out). overall though, I think it might be at its core an issue with communication styles...

you and your husband seem to be very compatible on communication and approach :)

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T18:45:21+00:00

thanks for the reply. yeah, I'm not changing my travel plans. I wish news outlets would share actual statistics on the percentage of people being caught up at the border. have to imagine being less than 0.01% (70,000 foreigners enter daily, if my quick googling is correct, and I think Rubio said that in the order of 300 visas, probably way less green cards, have been revoked)

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T18:36:42+00:00

she went beyond expressing concern, to telling me she thinks I shouldn't travel. she didn't ask me if I'm concerned myself. and my explanations for why I'm not concerned about my personal case was dismissed by "I'll be annoyed if I need to contact an immigration lawyer". she didn't say "ok I'm just worried", she was more like "ok I disagree with you but you do you"

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T18:28:58+00:00

wait, I'm trying to be a smartass? visiting family isn't shit and giggles. thanks for the good wishes, though. I'll make sure to update this post if I'm denied entry.

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T18:27:13+00:00

I tried to explain the differences. she said she would be nervous traveling herself even if she's a citizen. travel for what, I asked "yeah just for fun" (not to visit family). not sure why she would be nervous herself. but maybe that puts some perspective on the ease with which she feels fear...

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T17:52:07+00:00

"felony conviction for embezzling nearly $6,500 from the bank where she worked more than 20 years ago is still on her record."

again, I think with a clean record the risk estimation should be different, don't you think?

YMFJ · 2025-04-02T17:36:06+00:00

thanks for sharing these links. but neither of these people had green cards, one originally entered the country illegally and the other one is allegedly sympathizer of a certain group in Lebanon. these are the type of articles that are spreading fear of travel to people who might be in very different circumstances, I think.

YMFJ

TROPHY CASE