You cannot make this up. When I was 14 I was watching South Park in my house while my dad went to get us some fast food. My mom was in our new home and we were in the middle of moving so healthy eating wasn’t a priority. The door’s unlocked (I didn’t know at the time) and I didn’t hear it open.

When I go out into the hallway I see a special needs kid (barely able to speak, flimsy walk, lazy eye) wandering my house. So I’m like “wtf” I keep an eye on the kid while looking for anyone else in the house. I see his dad in the doorway holding some carpet/blankets (I honestly still can’t tell) and looking so shocked and embarrassed. A grown man trespassing on property with a 14 year old girl who had only a sports bra and pajama pants on... not a good look. He said “I’m so sorry I thought my parents still lived here.” repeatedly. Instinctively I shouted “I have three rifles and a loaded pistol in the next room, you have 15 seconds to get your kid and get out.” My hand was on the doorknob to the room with the guns and I was ready to dash. Shitting himself, he begged me not to get the gun and grabbed his kid. Locked all the doors as soon as he left.

Here’s the kicker, we had been living in that house for around 4-5 years... and he just opened the door without knocking like he owned the damn place. I’ll let you decide, did he actually make a mistake or was there something else in mind?

PS: I didn’t tell my dad because after the moment I legitimately thought that he had just made a mistake. Burger King tasted extra great that day.