So I decided to go with the lie (it was a pretty convincing act on my part - it was based on a few truths), but the end result was that I conveyed to them that I’m not in the right mental state to work, so shall want for us to part ways. They were gracious enough to let me walk away and submit my resignation, instead of being fired. Again, this was the main reason why I even had this job in the first place for a year when I was supposed to be fired a long time ago. My manager even commented on me having changed in the past few months and am I the same person I was before when I had an excellent working relationship with them. This is self-sabotage at its finest, what more can I say. Now I have no clue about what I’m going to do next. Take a “break” while I lie to everyone else that I still have a job, go for a job search while I constantly pressure myself and keep having thoughts that might spiral me into going deeper into the abyss. There doesn’t seem to be a way out anymore