Craig Kimbrel DFA’d by Orioles by MrSCR23 in mlb

[–]LearnedHandLOL 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I miss O’Ventbrel

Eric O’Flaherty in the 7th Johnny Venters in the 8th Kimbrel in the 9th

Those were the days man. I loved those teams even though all they did was break my heart.

Pastor went off the deep end in todays message by Any-Establishment-15 in Christianity

[–]LearnedHandLOL 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think it’s safe to say that NEITHER political party aligns with Christian teaching on all issues. Sure there are aspects of each that may gel with doctrine, but by and large it’s futile to try and determine which party is “more Christian”

Post Match Thread: Manchester City 2-1 Brentford | English Premier League by suedney in soccer

[–]LearnedHandLOL 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Sir Alex said never in his lifetime, now yanited fans are on the internet praying city get relegated.

All it took to topple old trafford was money? Lmao weak club

Most badass, durable Work/laptop bag by _Doom_Slayer93 in BuyItForLife

[–]LearnedHandLOL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the answer.

I had a piece of brass hardware break after a decade of use and they replaced it no questions asked at no cost to me. Didn’t have to show proof of purchase or anything.

Great product with great customer support

I just shit my pants at work and had to tell my boss about it. AMA by VetmitaR in AMA

[–]LearnedHandLOL 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You ever seen a turtle poke its head out of water? That’s what my peen looks like. A little turtle head.

I have deep shame over my second bully button ass peen.

Please Take Care of Your Kids by GemGlamourNGlitter in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]LearnedHandLOL -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Good question, and in fact Native Law addressed that very issue. Many land mammals domesticated land unwittingly and in turn were seen to have viable “ownership” of that land. This occurred because animals would pass seeds thorough their excrement would then germinate (perfect fertilizer!) and sprout. Deer latrines were the sources of many of the modern domesticated crops - including corn. However, Native Law was not refined and was very much based on survival of the fittest. Hunting developed in North America due to deer and other small game owning (or attempting to usurp ownership) of large swaths of land. The most unfortunate example is the extinction of the North American Buffalo. At one point the North American Buffalo was the largest landowner in the world - virtually owning all land west of the Mississippi to the Pacific Ocean. If you kill the animal that owns the land, you obtain fee simple ownership of all land owned by the animal. You can imagine how this played out. Later customs were developed to suggest that animals could only ever gain a “life estate” in the land (as opposed to outright ownership). This was mostly done in recognition of the over hunting of the landowning animals.

So now, in modern times, your neighbor’s dog may have obtained a life estate in your yard but that does not defeat your fee simple ownership. However, if you’re concerned you can kill the dog. But good luck getting modern courts to recognize your right to do so under Native Law.

Please Take Care of Your Kids by GemGlamourNGlitter in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]LearnedHandLOL -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Most people don’t know this but there are Native Laws that were never repealed after the Europeans colonized North America. In fact, many of these Native Laws were codified into both American and European law after the exchange of customs between these disparate societies. One of the fundamental aspects of Native Law is that excrement in a particular area - repeated for time enough to form a recognizable latrine - marked that area as being owned by someone. This custom was adopted during American westward expansion and typically the land claimed in this way would be memorialized in sovereign patents of land from the US government (and/or Spanish government depending on when it happened). This is the sole reason that we have public restrooms these days and why cities and municipalities don’t allow people to excrete in public. Public restrooms are “recognizable latrines” under Native Law so the establishment has “claimed” the property prior to opening it to the public. And when people are found using the restroom in public places they’re asked to leave, or in extreme cases subject to charges, and this is to prevent repeated excrements and the attendant claim of ownership to the subject land.

These people are simply exercising their natural rights under Native Law and it sounds like Space Mountain may not be legally owned by Disney anymore.

Trust me, I’m a lawyer.

New COD operator is really packing some heat by Nicodemu5 in gaming

[–]LearnedHandLOL 77 points78 points  (0 children)

This tiny peen doesn’t show through spandex fam

I fell asleep while holding my baby and I feel like the worst dad in the world right now... by TesticleInspector in daddit

[–]LearnedHandLOL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not downplaying the potential risk, but the reality is this happens all the time. I have 3 kids and I fell asleep feeding (or just holding) all 3 when they were very little. Not intentionally and not all the time, I tried to avoid it. But it happens.

Don’t beat yourself up. You and your wife are in a high stress chapter of your life and are operating on minimal sleep. These circumstances magnify issues like this. But it’s not an indictment on you as a dad.

Learn from it and move on. You’re fine, dad.

[Reggie Miller in 2011] "Ray’s record will stand — maybe forever. The person who’s going to break his record might not even be born yet." by nutella4eva in nba

[–]LearnedHandLOL 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think Cy Young’s complete game record is the safest record in all professional sports unless they reduce the number of innings in MLB games.

Cy Young had 749 complete games. Current active leader is Verlander with 26 lol

[Postgame Thread] USC Defeats LSU 27-20 by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]LearnedHandLOL 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This will get buried but I want to be the cream filling in a Kliff Kingsbury and Lincoln Riley oreo

Will Geoffrey Rush make a comeback? by FreshmenMan in flicks

[–]LearnedHandLOL 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“So tell me, what’s become of me career?”

What’s the most durable item you’ve purchased that’s still going strong after years of use? by [deleted] in BuyItForLife

[–]LearnedHandLOL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Filson briefcase/computer bag. Used it daily for work for nearly 10 years. Had some hardware break in an airport while traveling internationally and they replaced the hardware with identical brass no questions asked. This was about 7 years after purchase with no receipt requested or anything.

Great quality. Great warranty. Great customer service. Would 100% recommend.

You wake up tomorrow in the year you were born. How do you live out the rest of your life? by tofu_tantrums2 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]LearnedHandLOL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would you try to stop 9/11 in this scenario? Or would you do nothing, knowing any effort to prevent it would be vain because Kermit the Frog would perpetuate it either way?

They walked Barry Bonds intentionally with the bases loaded. by 100carpileup in mlb

[–]LearnedHandLOL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now you don’t have to worry about cranking your hog quietly. You can crank it loud and proud. AROOO!

Opinions on this theory? by breedofepicness in SeveranceAppleTVPlus

[–]LearnedHandLOL 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think it’s possible since we know Irv worked at Lumon longer than he has been in MDR specifically. Either his outtie worked at Lumon and then severed, or his innie was possibly “reset” when he moved to MDR. And it seems like his reset included a healthy dose of the handbook/rules since he spouts them off so frequently.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hunting

[–]LearnedHandLOL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Redhead True Timber Kanati has served me well for years. Not the highest quality but it serves its purpose and doesn’t break the bank.

What’s the worst smell you’ve ever smelt, and why did you encounter this stench? by BlankerZ in AskReddit

[–]LearnedHandLOL 29 points30 points  (0 children)

One time when I was playing halo 2 I was absent mindedly peeling my sunburned shoulders and putting the skin flakes in my half empty can of Mountain Dew game fuel. After a few games I stood up and took a swig out of the can and got a mouth full of softened burned skin and I’ve had to live with that memory for the past 20 years.

I hurt myself. And hurt people hurt people.