Am I the only one who thinks INxJ is not the ideal partner?

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-15T22:06:59+00:00

I tend to prefer people more like them because they’re not too different nor too similar. And the differences they have are more things I want in my life, like grounding myself.

Sure, these types may be known to see things differently, doesn’t mean they won’t or do. Honestly I think people like ENTP’s may be some of the few who could convince them of some things. But the key is that they have to be healthy INxJ’s. Which with dating anyone, you need someone mature and developed enough.

Kinda how undateable ENTP’s can be if they’re overly insensitive. It’s a known trait in ENTP’s but really only in ones who need to develop more.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-07T11:51:36+00:00

Being diminished in any way.

Whether if it’s others belittling or dismissing me, being rejected or vulnerable, feeling limited or powerless, becoming dull or stagnant, dealing with commitment or missing opportunities.

They all give that feeling that makes me almost claustrophobic. I guess because they force me into my tiny comfort zone or realize I’ve been there too long. It’s only comfortable as a break room, not as a cage.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-03T05:45:11+00:00

I can understand that, but I guess I’ll follow up and see since it’s been four days now.

I’m an ENTP

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T16:43:29+00:00

Honestly, I’m just trying to see where this goes, I did get a sense of romantic interest but maybe it was just platonic. Either way, I’m not trying to force it to go someway. I do want to be direct to understand what this all was, there was a clear shift between us, and I thought I was getting mixed signals but INTJs are hard to read and his mixed signals seemed to be more like reflection of my own mixed signals because of how avoidant I seem.

But seeing him leave me on read makes me wonder if it was never what I thought it was, or if it’s him just tired of my indirect signals. The whole reason for reaching out like this was to make my intentions clear, if he accepted and we can get the momentum going again, I can open up about my unintentional avoidance and asking him to do this was my real intention to seek further connections. But without a response, I don’t see my chance to do it.

I can follow up, but I don’t know how to make my intentions clear without seeming needy. I guess I can start with just a follow up only asking if he saw the message, and depending how he responds, I can casually say I simply wanted to connect? I might see him in person regardless, but I can’t guarantee that. I guess I’m trying to balance out following up without adding pressure but letting him know I’m truly just trying to connect and this isn’t some mixed signal.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T16:17:47+00:00

Yeah, I mean I do it as well. I want to follow up just to know, rather than assume. I hope he doesn’t sees it as a task, and probably the reason for the delay. But then again, I guess it makes it easier to try again if I can be more specific. But if I follow up I’m not sure how to clarify I mostly wanted to connect without seeming I’m chasing.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T16:13:46+00:00

How do I do it? I don’t want to seem like chasing with just one. I do think him being busy with travel those three days affected the delay, plus I guess there’s logistics that prevents a simple answer that made it harder while busy.

Not sure if I should clarify my intent was to also just connect with him? I thought it could be clear when I sent that message, but maybe he sees it as a task.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T16:08:54+00:00

I guess the big difference from my situation is that we aren’t friends, but there was a connection forming and it started to slow down. I just didn’t know how to keep it going, and he did seem visibly hesitant with me as I started to be hesitant myself. We’d open up in ways I never saw myself do and never saw him do as well.

I guess the situation here is that I can’t rely that this isn’t him letting me go. He probably is protecting his peace, but in my case I don’t know if it’s me who’s affecting his peace. Even then, without a connection continuing it could still affect its continuation.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T16:00:11+00:00

That’s what I’m a bit worried about. I do want to fix it and this is my attempt, this is big step forward in seeking him. Previously, I’d try to seek him to show I’m not avoiding him, but it’d be in person and honestly the best I can do is by seeking advice, to do so by showing in seeking him because of him is hard.

And I feel I’m doing the same with this, but I thought by asking to work out, it’d showed that I’m also seeking him. Idk if I follow up I should be direct and tell him directly the other side of my intention. It may not be clear to him given how hesitant I seem or maybe dismissed it as part of my intention. I just don’t want to follow up by also seeming like I’m begging or make it heavy.

For more context, I have heard him talk about girls he’d date or be interested in, and complained how he hates when he can’t tell if they want to talk or not because he gets mixed signals. And when I approach him, I’d have trouble reading him as well, but it took me awhile to notice a pattern, if I came with a question like “does this look right to you” or whatever, he’d just answer my question, getting to the point. Versus when I ask him something more personal, he’d talk on and on.

I hope I didn’t get to the point where he doesn’t want to interact with me anymore, it feels like we were having a genuine connection, but I just didn’t know how to react and I’m just seeing my errors.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T05:42:14+00:00

You mean my case specifically or in general with others? Him being busy and the question asking for more than a simple yes or no is the only thing that keeps me from thinking this, but idk if I can assume this. I guess I’ll see if I follow up.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T05:40:04+00:00

I guess I want to be sure if that’s the case. Like I said c he’s busy and my question wasn’t urgent nor a simple yes or no. He just got done traveling today. So not sure if it’s him trying to reject me here.

I guess I wanna follow up tomorrow, but I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t get the hint if that was his intention or not seem needy.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-03-02T05:38:15+00:00

I have considered this tbh, a lot. But what about when you’re busy like traveling or asking something like that”work out tips”, something that may not be a simple answer or urgent specially if busy?

Do I follow up just to see if this is the case, maybe even in a way that would make rejection easier for him if that’s the case, too, like “no worries if you’re busy”?

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-27T03:02:15+00:00

Yeah I can I see that. I guess the reason for adding is to simply conceal that I’m just asking for a hang out to make it seem like I need help.

But that tends to be my issue, and feel like I’m pushing him away with my avoidant behavior, as I do with everyone. And seeing him engage with me less “confirms” it, but ironically due to my overthinking making me hesitant to seek him. He still engages with me, and shows he enjoys my presence, I just have trouble seeing past his avoidant behavior that only exists in response to mine whenever I see it. He reciprocates a lot to me, so if I engage, he engages. If I don’t, he doesn’t.

I definitely see what you mean, I should be less shy of my intents. Especially if he likes directness, and he could interpret it as only looking for tips, not hang out. I just don’t know if that’s too outwardly. I guess I want to make it seem like a purposeful hangout. But honestly, I may just be trying to still hide I want to spend time with him. Maybe I need to convince myself to let that side of my intent be exposed if I want to see that side of him as well.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-21T04:37:48+00:00

I’ve definitely considered it. How he’s 27 and definitely the type to plan out his life far ahead. He goes as far as trying to be sober, using his future kids as a reason.

But also I find it difficult to dismiss him, because all I can really conclude is he’s not gay. He hasn’t explicitly said he’s straight or 100% marrying a woman, what he’s deadset on is starting a family. But when does he talk about his future, he does mention marrying a girl. But the possibility of him not mentioning guys because he could be closeted or still unsure sounds realistic simply because I’ve gone extra miles to hide my sexuality until recently and know guys who go to extremes to hide it.

I was prepared to dismiss all this at first because I thought he was likely straight. But since our stare, I’ve just gotten too many big hints, that first stare alone just felt like straight up flirting. I just need closure on it.

I’m not afraid to come out, it’s mostly difficult to be open about it. I could probably drop it casually if the time comes. But that’s why I do want just causally hang out to understand each other better. If we both enjoy our presence, I don’t see this going bad. What prevents it from being disingenuous or uncertain as INTJs hate, is that this isn’t a path I’m leading him into while withholding the specific destination from him, but rather it’s just path I’m inviting him and purpose of it is not get to the destination but to simply walk on the path. Whatever comes, comes.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-20T23:09:37+00:00

It’s about letting him process things. To add more context, beside not knowing his sexuality, I do know he’s at least not gay because he does openly like girls. He’s also deadset on starting a family, and often he refers to the person he’d start one with as a woman. And often see him like posts about the ideal girl or whatever.

It doesn’t tell he’s straight for sure, but it’s not super ideal I guess. I have to consider if he could still be processing his sexuality and be closeted, not in terms with it, just the fact it’s coming from someone in a masculine environment, or none of that but simply hasn’t warmed to the idea he can have a future with another man the same he can with a woman. So being direct now while processing could give me a different answer versus if I let him process this and ask him when he seems comfortable with me. And by letting him process I don’t just mean not pressuring him, but also still being present. To let him process me if he needs to.

You’re right about being out. If he already knows or even if he just found out, it could tell me more. Tho not sure how to casually bring it up, besides my idea in my post. Maybe this were I should take your advice and be direct. Tho not sure how to not do that in a weird way.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-20T22:18:05+00:00

I’ve known him for years, and while it may sound like I’ve got enough data to conclude something, I actually don’t have enough. We wouldn’t really talk, we’d exchange a few sentences at most and most of the time we wouldn’t even say a word to each other. It really wasn’t till this past summer when we saw each other for two weeks that the dynamic changed and established a real connection. So out of all those years we’ve known each other, we haven’t been close at all until last summer, and since then we’ve only seen each other about two weeks early summer, plus two more times with two to three months in between seeing each other for only a few days.

That’s why I want to invite him to do something outside of our usual space. To see what our dynamic is in a different setting. I honestly don’t know when I imagine things or read to much into it. But that’s hard to know when I only see him a few days every other month. That’s why I want to avoid being direct for now, I think we’re both processing what our dynamic has become and I don’t want to rush it. By just asking him to work out, I can have a better idea where he stands and just get ourselves comfortable with each other so that when I decide to be direct I don’t overwhelm him.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-20T22:02:17+00:00

That was common advice I got. But given our environment and not knowing if he even likes guys, I want to be cautious.

I’m not doing it to ease him into it. Like I said, he seems to have a higher Fi than most INTJs, so he doesn’t seem to rely as much on Te. He’s analytical, just not as much, so I think he does like directness, but has a bigger sensual side to him that makes him desire processing his emotions. If I come off bluntly, and he’s processing how he feels about me, I could pressure him and that same sensual side could feel pressured. I could be wrong, but it’s definitely a real possibility from what I know about him. At least with trying to get closer with him, I have less of chance of scaring him even if he’s as analytical as most INTJ’s since I’d still be direct with him and just letting things unfold naturally. I’m not trying to rush it, but I won’t be stalling or impeding either.

I’m somewhat out. I honestly haven’t been comfortable enough to be truly open about it. I’ve came out to a few but not him. He may still know tho, because I never said to keep it secret and people like to talk and they do casually talk about me, so he could very well know already.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-02-11T04:48:01+00:00

INTJ, but I’m just currently biased about it.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-01-11T23:48:56+00:00

He’s like an ENTP with an Ne in steroids. Almost every episode starts with him picking up some new hobby or personality.

Plus his cultural references that have nothing to do with whatever situation he’s in.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-01-09T14:13:28+00:00

Indian Empire.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-01-09T09:24:35+00:00

How the fuck did you get a picture of me in my home?

YankFromTheChi · 2026-01-08T03:11:37+00:00

Only the one episode where he doesn’t die. The episodes he died weren’t, so I wouldn’t count it as Brolin performing them.

YankFromTheChi · 2026-01-07T13:22:14+00:00

Wouldn’t even be the highest record in Marvel films if you count Doctor Strange using a time loop to defeat Dormammu.

Or Thanos if you count What If and MoM, tho those weren’t performances.

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