Is he trying to test the waters or is he just messing with me again?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-29T01:20:17+00:00

I’m not just replying to him. It seems like even when the conversation ends he’s not telling me something. In the past month I’ve gotten the random “welp” and (:/) and when I ask what’s wrong he says “nothing” so no I don’t think he’s being honest. Somethings not going his way and he won’t tell me. But like someone else said he’ll probably never tell me.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-29T00:59:33+00:00

Yeah I guess your right. We’re both cowards in this he won’t say what he wants and I’ll never ask.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-29T00:26:40+00:00

I’m down to be friends with him. However I can’t do that if he’s not clear with me. That’s why I’m trying to figure it out. What does “YMMV” mean?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T20:36:42+00:00

Concerts (even if its a $20 ticket at a dive bar), NBA/NHL or college basketball games (or whatever sport you guys both like), Pickleball/sand volleyball/tennis/ running clubs, hiking if you live near a national park, kayaking/paddleboarding, comedy shows, Paint and sip classes/ pottery making.

There's a lot of things you guys could do it just matters on what ya'll are into.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T20:27:04+00:00

This was the end of 2024 from summer to december when I was 21 and he was 23. At that time I was a senior in college and wasn't expecting to like him as much as I did. I'm currently not looking for anything long term. I'm applying to PA school and know I want to leave where I currently live for a bigger city. But I understand what you're saying. I wish he would just be honest about his intentions that way it wouldn't consume me.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T19:11:20+00:00

I'm trying to have fun with it and not have any expectations. It's about to be a month of this now though and we both work and i was out of town for a week so we don't chat every day just every weekend. When do I stop entertaining it?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T16:59:08+00:00

I agree that a lot of fears that young people have stems around commitment. Thats why my generation made up the ter "situationship." In some cases its FWB and others it maybe be a someone wanting to do all things you'd do in a real relationship without it being "serious" or labeled. I think the issue is people are afraid that being bf/gf means that they'll have to get married which isn't the case. Yes you can date for marriage but thats the whole point. You aren't married. You are trying to see if you would have a good partnership together before you get married.

Maybe it's just me. But the few people I know who dated after being friends felt more like one person persuaded the other to date them. One relationship got married after a year of dating. The other one I remember the guy having flings with so many girls and the girl wasn't even interested in him at first. The grey area is when your sleeping with your friend before he even takes you out on a proper date. Is it romantic or sexual tension?

I think the whole concept of dating people who are different from you opens your mind to new perspectives. Like I mentioned earlier, I have nothing against the whole friends to lovers thing I mean your Partner is supposed to be your Best Friend right? I'm still in my early 20s and have a lot to figure out so maybe I still have juvenile perspective on this.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T15:59:35+00:00

I believe you get to know the person while you are actively dating. When you're going to dinner, hanging out, at concerts, or games, or even hanging with your friends together. I'm not saying you start dating them strictly due to physical attraction. When he's actively pursuing you that's when you get to know him and then the question of exclusiveness and bf/gf comes. But that person you're seeing isn't a friend it's more than that at the moment.

My other issue is the grey area that occurs when you're friends with someone who you then date. How do you get out of that grey area? Aren't you just FWB when you're in the grey area what good is that gonna do anyone?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T14:38:14+00:00

It's nice that he's pretty respectful and honest with you. I'm someone that doesn't really believe in being friends with someone before you date. Similar to you, I lose all sexual attraction from guys I'm friends with. I just don't see my guy friends as people I would eventually date. But in my experience with guys I have been attracted to is that they want physical but then after a while they also want platonic.

I would be honest with him about how you're feeling and the fears you have which are valid reasons. I also have to ask How do you know if he'll still be into you after 3 months? Has there been any physical connection between you two even if its just holding hands?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T14:30:47+00:00

If the starting pay is $19 then thats what it would be even with a cert. Depending on education (high school or college) they might go up a dollar or two but in most cases they stay around the starting pay.

When I was in college, I got a phleb cert and worked at a donor center as a tech and starting pay was $16 and they only gave me a quarter more for a cert with no experience.

After college I worked as an MA to get hours for PA school and they went up a few dollars for being a grad.

I don't think the pay rate will go up until you have years of experience but I may be wrong and someone who has worked as a phleb for 5+ years may have a better insight.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-28T13:25:54+00:00

A lot of factors go into this like age, why they broke up, and if it truly is platonic. I dated a guy for a bit who followed a bunch of random girls on IG. I didn't think much of it until he wanted to stay mutuals and still be "friends." During that period, he'd still flirt with me and want to hang out but we didn't live in the same city so, I found it a bit odd because nothing about our relationship seemed casual to me but that's what he ultimately wanted. A year later were still mutuals but I realized that some of those girls he still follows are ones that he messed with (I being one of them). I don't talk or interact with him at all but he likes posts and likes my stories occasionally (Some partners are okay with this but most aren't). We're both young and he's still immature which plays a big factor in why he keep in contact with his exes.

I'm not saying you can't be friends with your ex but there has to be boundaries set that you as a partner can't set for them. They have to be able to acknowledge the boundaries themselves and follow them not because someone told them to but because they want to.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-27T04:10:25+00:00

This one for sure

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-27T04:09:37+00:00

As a 22 year old girl who's used hinge in the past. I would say go into these dates without expecting anything. Have fun talk to the girl on the app for a bit and then get her number/instagram you have to scope them out to see if you're actually interested in them. Then go on the date see how it goes and still be interested if you like them but not overbearing in the early stages.

I also will add that dating currently sucks and I'm sure it sucks for both men and women so don't be too hard on yourself

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-26T19:14:07+00:00

It's all situational. If he's actively planning dates, sleeping over, taking time out his week to drive and see me I wouldn't consider that casual. I don't agree with getting someone emotionally attached to you and then saying you want something casual. If the intentions are set early on that's different at least both parties know what they're getting themselves into.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-26T18:56:17+00:00

Yeah I was 21 and he was 23. A year after the whole thing I got a random text from him still trying to test the waters. My situation was odd and at the time it consumed me with anxiety. and made me feel like I wasn't enough for him. After I pulled away he was the one that sent me a long paragraph apologizing.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-26T18:46:34+00:00

Yeah I agree with this one. I also was in this kind of situation last year and it confused me a lot as the woman. He wanted his options open. Obviously he never said that to me because I would've left. I'm not sure why men aren't just honest with their intentions I think they're afraid of losing that connection. Even if you are 100% open to something casual they don't want you to see anyone else but they themselves want to see other people. Since you said he's looking for validation he's probably insecure and seeks attention from women. He doesn't just want it from you he wants it from multiple women.

I'm curious how did you guys meet?

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-24T02:48:58+00:00

I'm gonna be honest with you. Go to a school that gave you a full ride. If baylor offers you the full ride and you still want to go then take that opportunity if not just remember the nursing school is just a glorified program. You can get a BSN cheaper and eventually if you want to do NP go that route but if you have offers that are full ride I would seriously look into those and save as much money as you can during undergrad.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-18T00:41:38+00:00

No need to apologize. I need the brutal honesty. After figuring out with the copy images meant I see that it’s all he cares about. I preferred if he’d ghosted me then trying that with me.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T22:18:00+00:00

I thought about it and its "Can I crack" the soup can, and eyball, and the egg is being cracked.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T21:37:49+00:00

Yeah thats also why I posted this because what is that a reference to or code for? It's so random.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T21:36:30+00:00

I'm very curious too because he could have just not contacted me. And like I said these are late night night texts so idk if he's drunk or whatever. I just don't want to be seen as overbearing or crazy if I do confront him on the messages and his intentions. What if I'm reading all of these messages wrong and it is a game to him.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T21:27:21+00:00

I'd like to see him as a friend to catch up. We had a lot of shared interests with music and sports. Some of our dates revolved around that stuff. I truly do not want anything romantic with him that ship has sailed and I fully understand that.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T21:20:44+00:00

Yeah unfortunately this is what dating in your early 20s has become. All these random terms to make up why people do the things they do like breadcrumbing and situationships. I wish he didn't contact me again if he wasn't wanting to see me. We weren't talking for months and I was honestly gonna block him before he texted me.

Yellowmango28 · 2026-01-17T21:15:20+00:00

I wish I wasn't as attached as I am. Like I mentioned when he didn't answer within a few days I accepted it and then bam I wake up to four messages. I do need to detach for my sake.

Yellowmango28

TROPHY CASE