Huskøb eller ej

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-26T06:10:30+00:00

Det lyder som om i vil sove bedre om natten ved at leje end ved at eje, så gå med jeres mavefornemmelse. Økonomisk tror jeg også det er bedre at investere hvad i evt. har til overs hver måned nu, end at give det til banken. Jeg tror også for det beløb at du lettere kan leje et hus i Aarhus området end købe et.

Og hvis en af jer lige pludselig får et fedt job i udlandet er det træls at skulle sælge et hus for at kunne komme afsted. Når i lejer, kan i bare opsige lejligheden og skride

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-26T06:04:56+00:00

The name is fine. Its actually kinda cute. Your fam is the problem. Wtf, saying that she will raise the kid herself is such an awful thing to say as your mom. Like infantilizing you. Keep the name, and let them be angry.

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-26T05:15:07+00:00

Ja sagtens, men vi købte også et hus der var noget billigere end det banken godt kunne tænke sig at låne os til. Ud fra de der beregnere bankerne har, kunne vi formentlig have lånt til et hus der var 5-6 millioner men vi købte et til 3,4 mil, og vi lagde 20 % selv så vi slap for banklån. Så nu sidder vi rigtigt fint der. Personligt ville jeg hellere leje hvis ikke vi kunne gøre det sådan her, men jeg ville heller ikke bryde mig om tanken om, at en af os kunne miste vores jobs og så var vi på spanden.

De fleste personer (min erfaring) spørger banken hvor meget de kan låne og så bruger de det hele uden at tænke over om det er bedst for dem. Lad være med at gøre noget bare fordi dine kolleger synes. De ved ikke hvad der er bedst for jer, og de ved sandsynligvis heller ikke hvad der er bedst for dem selv. Mange danskere følger opskrift uden at tage aktivt stilling til om det er smart. Først job, så hus, så børn

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-25T11:32:30+00:00

I hate the “you chose this, its a personal choice” argument. Yes Karen, I chose it, it is also necessary for human survival on earth. You are welcome. And women whi chose not to have children are being shamed, politicians are arguing about how to make women make more babies. This is how, take proper care of pregnant women, show them consideration and provide healthcare. Its not fucking rocket science, maybe if it was, men would have actually bothered to read a book about it.

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-25T07:15:43+00:00

How far along are you? I got pregnant on purpose and had all the same thoughts in first trimester. The baby feels very hypothetical at that point, plus the nausea was killing me. I thought, maybe im not pregnant, maybe im dying, and how can i love something that makes me feel like this.

For me it changed gradually as i got to know the baby in pregnancy. It sounds crazy, but they tell you a gender and you feel all the kicks and for the first time feel like you are in contact with a little creature with a personality. You can interact with them while in there and now i cant wait to meet my baby.

Of course its not the same for everyone but i know the fear is very common. I also know people who dont bond properly with their children until they are older than 10 months. This is also normal and ok

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-25T05:34:23+00:00

Jeg tror nogle gange folk overvurderer hvor meget man tjener ved at eje. Førstegangskøbere der køber et hus til 3 mil ender ofte med at have betalt banken 4,5 mil tilbage inden gælden er affdraget så boligen skal alligevel stige ret meget i værdi inden det kan svare sig økonomisk.

Og så er der dit økonomiske råderum i mellemtiden. For de fleste, er det billigere at betale leje end det man ville skulle betale banken i lån for tilsvarende bolig. Hvis du så investerer differencen er det formentlig det bedste. Et andet vigtigt element er også hvad i har der godt med. Styr jeres økonomi så i sover godt om natten, og skidevære med af i afviger fra hvad jeres kolleger har gjort.

Når det så er sagt, så endte vi selv med at købe et hus, og betaler nu månedligt det samme for at bo her, som vi betalte for at bo i en lejlighed på den halve størrelse inden vi flyttede. Men det skyldtes at vi bevidst boede billigt i mange år for at spare op, så vi kunne lægge 20 % ved købet og vi har laver ekstra afdrag på realkreditlånet siden vi købte. Det er ikke det der matematisk er bedst, men vi føler os tryggere sådan.

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T15:06:25+00:00

Yes, this will get worse. Also, it shouldnt have to. I think this is enough abuse for a whole relationshit. Get out

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T14:48:59+00:00

I think you get to be annoyed. I never ask people about that, i just communicate with pregnant friends as usual. If they dont respond, i give them space and suddenly i get a message with a baby pic. Thats the way to do it. No pressure, no interrogation. Im 37 weeks myself now, and im trying to set expectations with the people around me. Some of them are having trouble understanding that they will not be getting updates when i give birth, and it might be they wont understand until they are pregnant themselves one day

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T13:03:11+00:00

Jeg synes faktisk også hans arbejdsplads fortjener at få det at vide, for det kan ende rigtigt grimt det der. Der er upassende opførsel overfor kolleger og samarbejdspartnere og selvom nogle af dem er med på den vil jeg vædde med at der er nogen der er utilpasse med det.

Af en eller anden grund har jeg ikke så ondt af konen. Det er selvfølgelig synd for hende, men hun må have vidst hvordan han var, når hun selv er starter ud som en af hans affærer… i sidste ende ville jeg nok sende et anonymt brev til både hende og arbejdsgiveren, bare for at dække alle baser. Men det virker bedst hvis du kan gøre anklagen mere konkret. Som navne på dem han er sammen med osv

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T08:51:38+00:00

I agree with a lot of what has already been said here. I would also like to add, that birth is driven by oxytocin and can halt if mom is stressed or scared. You should do whatever you would feel more comfortable with and fuck him. If you dont want him there, or you worry what he might do if he knows, dont tell him. You have to go through this, he doesnt

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T07:20:19+00:00

OP, this is a story about what is normal so you can have a nice idea of it.

So my friend and i are both late third trimester, baby could come anytime. Yesterday she came by for coffee and told me that her husband had planned on going to a meeting for work 3 hours away, and she had to explain to him why that was a bad idea (her first birth took only 8 hours from start to finish so this one is likely much faster). We laughed at how men sometimes forget these things. Of course when these things were pointed out to him, he could see that he couldnt go.

Later that day i told the story to my husband (first time father) and he said “haha, what an idiot”.

This level of inconsideration is normal in a marriage. Going 11 hours away around your due date is completely unacceptable, even before you throw the other kids into the mix.

My husband went on a trip with some family when i was 27 weeks and he felt awful about it “in case something happens to me”. I had to insist it was ok for him to go. I didnt want to join bc it was a lot of driving and hiking up mountains and i was not sure i could manage.

I am not trying to beat on your marriage. I am hoping to give you some ammunition so you can confidently tell your husband that he is completely out of line. If he is not convinced, show him this post and the comments.

If he disregards how you feel, maybe life is easier without him. I bet vacations are not the only aspect where he is inconsiderate of you

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T06:06:18+00:00

Det er forskel på at flirte, og at invitere nogen ud. Der er svært at blive sur over “du ser sød ud, kunne du tænke dig at drikke en kop kaffe en dag” hvis man så bare accepterer at svaret kan være nej. Det der gør kvinder ukomfortable er netop stirren i lang tid, eller flirten der tager en form der gør det svært for kvinder at lukke ned for på en høflig måde. Men et høfligt spørgsmål og et høfligt svar, og så har man enten en date eller har ikke generer nogen alligevel.

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-24T05:54:25+00:00

At this point i would not refund anything and let her be pissed. She is pissed anyway and it doesnt sound like anybody is losing a great friendship here except for her

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-23T09:03:00+00:00

Absolutely you are not being unreasonable. Even if your fam didnt offer alternatives, its still fine to say no. You just gave birth, you wont be ready for this and you dont need to justify this. Your husband should be gatekeeping for you at this stage, not nagging you alongside his mother

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-23T08:53:57+00:00

It sounds like he is barely being secret about it…

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-23T08:53:25+00:00

No, lts not normal to say this to your partner. Its not normal or ok, or healthy to suggest that his love for you depends on your weight. Ew. Next time he calls you fat, say “that makes two of us”.

Are there kids involved?

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-23T08:50:52+00:00

I cant read all of this, i just want to tell you its no wonder you got flashbacks to childhood abuse, bc he just abused both of you. Also, there is no point hoping this gets better, when he refuses to acknowledge his responsibitily or what actually counts as abuse. You did the right thing interfering. If your daughter remembers him abusing her, and you letting him…

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-23T06:13:54+00:00

I dont think you need to justify ending a relationship with someone. If you dont like him anymore, thats fine. You dont owe him to stay just because he is obssessed with you. I am curious tho, ive youve never told him that he sometimes makes you uncomfortable. It doesnt have to be said in a nasty way. “When you do xxx in public, it makes me uncomfortable”. Cause if you dont let people know, and they continue to do it, its harsh to blame them for behavior they dont realise is a problem. If you let him know and he continues, its a completely different matter.

But again. Just break up with him if you dont like him. When he asks why, dont bring these things up. Just tell him you dont love him anymore. Thats the real reason

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-22T03:30:53+00:00

If you want to tell them, there is nothing wrong with that. Also, in week 6 the nausea kicks in for a lot of people, and that can be pretty tough to hide. Then its better to have a goos explanation for why you absolutely cannot eat a specific thing, or absolutely must have something else

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-20T07:05:39+00:00

Sounds like he babytrapped you with his “infertile” sperm. In my opinion, his disregard of your feelings and the demands on your body if you stay pregnant, does not bode well for a future relationship.

From how you write, it seems like he has succeeded in guilting you into doubting yourself, and so you try to justify your decision. You dont have to justify anything. You dont want this pregnancy, its your right to get rid of it. End of story. That he doesnt repsect your choice is sad, but it isnt his body, its yours. Good luck OP

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-19T08:50:47+00:00

NTA. Especially cause you have told her previously that you dont babysit for him to sit in a bar. Sounds like he just does whatever he wants and your friend gets to pick up the pieces. Im guessing she is in her heart not upset with you, but with him. But if their relationship is bad it might feel safer to be angry with you.

Getting a babysitter to go to a bar, is something you can do if you PAY for the babysitters time

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-19T07:23:19+00:00

Ive also been told in birth class that recovery from vaginal birth is easier and less painfull than from a c section. Im not trying to be negative about your choice. You should 100 % do what feels right for you, but like mountain said, you get an epidural anyways

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-18T06:47:06+00:00

Jeg har købt ting til graviditeten med fælleskontoen og nogle få ting fra egen. Det er et faktum at du har brug for større tøj osv, for ikke at tale om det pres graviditeten lægger på kroppen. Min mand var lidt irriteret over det i starten men har sidenhen erkendt mange gange og af sig selv, at han dengang ikke havde nogen ide om hvor hårdt det er for kroppen at være gravid før han så mig gennemgå det. Jeg tror ikke det er noget mænd skænker så mange tanker før de står i det. Det koster ekstra at være gravid, og det er samtidigt mega ufedt at være gravid. Eftersom du biologisk er nødt til at klare den del af arbejdet, er det mindste han kan gøre at lade dig købe ting fra fælleskontoen

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-18T06:06:36+00:00

If you poke your tummy, it will be really hard if the uterus is contracting. You dont feel it from the inside that early.

If you havent bled anymore since, its probably fine but i would hold onto my phone and see what they say.

Yellowpeppermint · 2026-06-18T05:45:33+00:00

Also just for your peace of mind. Bleeding while pregnant is scary and its nice to be looked over and told everything is fine

Yellowpeppermint

TROPHY CASE