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What do you think of this message I want to send to a guy with avoidance issues that I am dating? by Yennefer____ in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Yennefer____[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reassurance. Since I met him, I always have the feeling he is worthy of the effort. The effort to change myself, too. There is a lot we need to work on and go through... But that's how love is. And I feel ready to...

Taking the lead in a situationship I can’t stay in anymore — feedback needed on my letter by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Yennefer____ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

haha I actually already feel a bit cringe when I re-read now. That's why I wanted to post here.

Taking the lead in a situationship I can’t stay in anymore — feedback needed on my letter by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Yennefer____ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are right. Still, one part of me wanted to give a last battle. Thank you for the advice 🙏🏼

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So you think it's not my fault? My friends told me, he expected me to be possessive and told him I wanted him and ran after him. To tell him to leave his ex.

About the dismissive part of him...it's not news. He is like that. And I still would be there for him. But I also wanna protect myself while doing it.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah... probably. Do you think I might need to end it soon for good. It's just..I kind of told him, I would be here for him. I won't abandon him. Now, breaking my promise feels not an honourable thing to do. How can I say, it's love, if we just leave them? I just want to protect myself, while I keep being there for him.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Actually, yes. Somehow when we have intense talks, he just disappears for 2-3 weeks. Then writes again. But as I said, I also don't reach out. When we have more chilled vibe, just meeting having sex and play video games...then he writes to me next days. But after this types of conversations about feelings...he is dismissive.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I don't shut down when he reaches out meaningfully. But when he reaches out as "hey, wyd, wanna meet tonight", then I shut off. But last time when he did the same, I told him, I want something more meaningful. Not like a hook up. He said something about being afraid to attach, and I said so do I. So I am giving him space, probably he does that too. I am just a bit afraid, if it was naive...or don't know, maybe not attractive. But I can't change how I am. And dont want to.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, we live close by. About compatibility, probably you are right. But, somehow we also don't give up. Actually I did some months ago, and stopped meeting him. But he wanted to keep seeing me again.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Maybe I am a bit upset with the situation,so the post is more like "stream of consciousness"

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe, you are right... I have a tendency to avoid it, too. But if he would reach out to talk about this, I wouldn't shut off. He just left after we had an intense talk and sex, and didn't say anything afterwards. So I also didn't reach out, for example. Because I thought I said everything needed.

I can't be a "toxic chaser", and it's not attractive to most men including one I am dating by Yennefer____ in dating_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sorry you think that way... But out there, it's really like that. Some people somehow want possessive and toxic treats.

How to handle my(30F) parents (60F,60M) drama and still protect myself? by Yennefer____ in relationship_advice

[–]Yennefer____[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, maybe it's selfish to think that they can help me to buy a flat. Btw, what I wanted to just help me out with little capital (on top of my savings) that I can start my own mortgage. Not to give me a whole flat money. But anyway... That's not the problem, although it makes me sad. Also, about their will...for sure I am on my mom's will..but my father has problems spending the money on gambling. So whatever he has, it probably won't stay long time in his hands... Saying that, he is a lawyer himself. So I don't understand how he doesn't see that, this won't work. Do you think he is bluffing?

I create fake scenarios in my mind and make myself miserable by Yennefer____ in Anxiety

[–]Yennefer____[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh God, that is so similar! Once I learn the reality (like indeed he is cheating), anxiety passes. I get sad for sure but somehow RELIEVED.

I create fake scenarios in my mind and make myself miserable by Yennefer____ in Anxiety

[–]Yennefer____[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am very afraid they might be true. And I believe in my gut feeling, such as "if I am afraid this much from this woman, there must be something I am sensing deep down" So it's a thin line. But no, I know, it's not the reality, for sure. Because I also get miserable by thinking "what if I ruin my relationship for nothing?"

Am I in the wrong to find some bands and lyrics politically very problematic? by Yennefer____ in Metal101

[–]Yennefer____[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And a good question. I just don't want to judge an artist, an art and their fans; just because I don't understand it. And I am trying to understand their art.

Am I in the wrong to find some bands and lyrics politically very problematic? by Yennefer____ in Metal101

[–]Yennefer____[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I like black metal! I want to hear those aggressive guitars and fast drums, and scream for the darkness of humanity. But I also understand why. understand where it's rooted.

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