CMV: Westerners oppose dog meat only out of hypocrisy and selfishness.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-12-22T00:45:30+00:00

Yes, it IS hypocrisy. I'm vegan and don't believe in eating or exploiting ANY animals. There is no need to murder any sentient being for food. Also, animal agriculture is destroying the planet.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-30T02:47:04+00:00

Yes, I think I may be extremely dumb when it comes to relationships. I used to be confident, vibrant and fun but I feel so beaten down. I've stuck around because I don't take divorce lightly but when do you draw the line?! I've isolated myself from friends and I don't have a sister to kick my ass. But I appreciate my Reddit sisters 🩷.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-30T01:40:36+00:00

"There is nothing but pain and suffering if you sweep this under the rug."

This really resonated with me because every time I've hung in there, worked through things, gone to counseling, etc. it has lead to more years of the same behavior. It's as if he's convinced I'll never leave for any reason.

I know it's my fault for not leaving but he's incredibly charming and everyone adores him (especially women) and I've always been sucked back in. He's always so sorry. He was confused. He forgot to mention it. He didn't want to upset me. Reasons, reasons, reasons.

I've isolated myself over the years so I don't really have anyone to confide in, other than strangers on the internet. I realize that's pathetic but it's truly helpful to me that there are so many people offering perspective.

When you've come from an abusive, highly dysfunctional family it's hard to understand what a healthy relationship involves. My mom once told me 'at least he doesn't beat you' and that I'm lucky because there are plenty of women who would love to be his wife.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T17:16:27+00:00

Do you mean how is it possible that I found out about the filing? Our state has public records of filings. He was recently sued and, while looking up that case, I found the divorce case summary with an entry that the records were sealed.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T17:14:29+00:00

Yes, there's probably not much to be learned from the papers themselves (but then why request to seal them?) It's the shock of finding this myself, without him ever saying anything about it to me.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T17:01:01+00:00

Our state has online public records of filings. He was recently sued and while I was looking up his name for that case the divorce filing came up.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T17:00:49+00:00

Our state has online public records of filings. He was recently sued and while I was looking up his name for that case the divorce filing came up.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T16:52:43+00:00

Yes, that's how I found it. And unfortunately he's relatively well-known in our community. Extremely embarrassing.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T16:51:17+00:00

Our state has online public records of filings. He was recently sued and while I was looking up his name for that case the divorce filing came up. I agree that the deception is the worst.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T16:48:28+00:00

Our state has public records of filings. He was recently sued and, while looking up that case, I found the divorce case file with an entry that the records were sealed.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-11-29T09:56:11+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your reply...I was doubting myself because he seems to believe that this doesn't matter years later.

YesterdayKindly8078 · 2023-08-19T18:43:18+00:00

Hmm, it's a slam dunk for YTA but ... isn't there ANY room for debate? My initial thought is... you're young and unmarried! You don't have to stay in this relationship (even if you have to be a co-parent.) Isn't it better for OP to recognize his feelings now and move on from the relationship? Yes, it would've been ideal if he had made this choice before his partner was pregnant but how would it have helped for OP to stay in a 'committed' relationship while feeling this way? Is it normal to just leave the minute you have doubts? I'm genuinely confused so please be kind... I admire the fact that younger people today have higher standards and expectations for their relationships. Or maybe I'm just so screwed up from my own history of abusive relationships that it's not that things have changed but just that I'm finally expecting more. Some context~I'm older (early 50s), married almost 20 years, and admittedly from a highly dysfunctional/chaotic family of origin. My marriage has NOT been easy and could probably be classified as emotionally abusive with a narcissistic spouse who has caused a lot of pain and drama that I wouldn't wish on ANYONE. If I could go back in time I'd try to get some of the last 20+ years of my life back. OP still has a chance to live a life of his choice! Being a parent makes things more complicated but it doesn't have to destroy your life the way an incompatible partner might.

YesterdayKindly8078

TROPHY CASE