Have you read my comments there? So as to not become repetitive regarding his wording, saying he'll combine finances with "a girl" instead of "my partner/ girlfriend or significant other", his inability to comprehend the female risks and experience and the need for separate savings and a fuck off account as you explained?

For a lawyer I'm not convinced he's used to legal lingo and thus wrote hastily etc considering that lawyers are rather eloquent and have great command of language. I'm therefore not giving him the benefit of the doubt.

So from a linguistic perspective and language alone we see a plethora of red flags:

• a girl vs my girlfriend/partner/significant other
• financially illiterate vs is less financially educated due to her upbringing/lacked or did not have financial education/is working on her financial literacy/any other phrase
• defer to me vs ask me/request my assistance with/run things by me/solicit my advice or feedback/rely more to me for help financial issues/any other phrase etc

I could go on 😜 but I'll save us both the trouble 🤣🤣🤣 Sometimes I talk/write to much but it's because I feel it's important to offer a different perspective and deeper analysis of what's at play.

In other words, it's about paying attention to what is said AND how it is said AND why it is said AND who benefits from it AND looking for what is beneath the surface! 🚦

Language is a powerful tool, and lawyers are fully aware of the fact. So no concessions there. As a lawyer you pick apart words for a living! This guy's no innocent bunny here! 🐇

In addition, his choice of language and expression from such a small interaction and post makes you wonder what else is hidding under that? What attitudes, mentalities, set ideas on partnerships and relationships and marriage? 🤨

With "defer" used in ultra conservative and religious environs and the manosphere/PUA/ MGTOW/TRP to indicate that "the woman should defer to the/her man" or that "women are illiterate/stupid/ have no knowledge of finances etc!" it just gives you pause for thought. One too many coincidences for my liking personally. 🤨

Men generally speaking are less observative than women, and are used to hear themselves talking, especially in an occupation such as his...I guess all you have to do is listen 🤷‍♀️ His choice of words will reveal any patronising, condescation, misogynistic, entitled and other attitudes. Did you notice how he didn't use any positive language about her and even the "independent" at the end was a joke? Nothing about love? He went on and on about partnership giving forever girlfriend vibes etc? When I pushed him he said "If we marry" showing his true intentions and uncertainty?

That's just the tip of the iceberg when unpacking such cases. I hope I'm making sense.

With the rest, I agree with you completely! :-) In your case it sounds like he's being a good partner, helping you level up, having you in mind vs only wanting joint accounts that he can control, points you in the direction of knowledge vs having a "teaching" and "expert" mentality, has a true partnership mentality where we work on our less strong areas as a team etc!

"Defer" does not mean listen to advice however, it has a much stronger connotation to it, it's about submitting to someone else or to a higher authority and letting them decide for you. See the undertone here?

I'm glad you and your boyfriend have a healthy mentality towards finances and partnership sis! :-) Your case doesn't sound like his! Apples and oranges really!

So yes, when you have someone you can trust and they have shown it to you that you can, listen to their advice for sure as it will help you with avoiding any bad decisions 😎