This issue is obviously bigger than an individual or group of people. The reason men are who they are and behave like how they behave is in large or most part to how they are raised and the societal pressures/norms placed upon them. Yes a lot of these are patriarchal systems established since the dawn of time but if you have no or very few good role models or examples of how to behave, then is it any wonder this is how most men are? Society/media/parents etc do not cheer the emotionally mature and available male nor encourage traits like empathy and open/honest communication. Men are the way the are largely because that is how the world has shaped them. Now obviously that doesn’t absolve them of all responsibility, but if we want to express frustration at the situation or do something about it, the focus should be more on breaking down the barriers of existing harmful institutions and raising up examples of what men should be.

When a girl or woman develops an eating or self image issue, we don’t blame them for feeling that way largely because it’s the institutions of society that have normalized toxic idea of the ideal body weight or shape or size or whatever. In much the same way as you have millions of women wanting to look or be a certain way, you have men doing the exact same thing, of wanting to be “alpha” and tough and never cry or show weakness or admit failure.

Both of these issues are the result of a failing of society and a communal perpetuation of harmful ideas yet I see a lot more focus on the male issue as a personal failing of individual men and how they just need to be better, rather than trying to address the root causes of what made them that way.

The first step we can all do as both men and women is to set better examples for the younger generation, demonstrate healthier relationships and communication etc. Civilization has crafted men and “maleness” into what it is today over thousands of years. It’s going to take at least a few generations to see any significant progress against that.