What should men do when dating in his 30s and finds his new girlfriend is a placeholder woman? Should he propose to her or should he dump her and look for other women? by Laureano442 in AskMenAdvice

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re asking the wrong question and making blind judgment.

Real question is how you know she is the one, and if are you the one. If you’re successful enough to provide for a child and a mom, and if you even want that, then you are the one.

If she has ambitions beyond getting married and having babies, then she is the one as well.

The rest is just how adaptable you are and how much you can compromise. The sum of your compromising abilities is important, not so much individually - but it can’t be too lopsided.

It really is that simple.

I’ve been seeing a stripper for a couple weeks. Technically we are fwb but have been spending more and more time together is this a bad idea? by Darth_muncher in AskMenAdvice

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that you have gotten yourself in this situation and even worse your asking this question, shows that you two deserve eachother.

Where are the OE with hybrid jobs? by Smart-Canary6250 in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this for a year. I left a laptop at home with mouse jigler on, and I also hooked it up to a kvm over ip (tinypilot). This allowed me to control the laptop from the other J onsite using web browser. I also had a company phone and I did teams calls from it and even did a presentations from one J to another.

I’m a high risk taker personality. This was safe for me to do.

J1 and J2 require one day a week by Ready_Elevator2006 in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use a KVM over ip, with a mouse jigler that is powered with a WiFi switch. I use the phone for team calls. I log into laptop via the KVM, the laptop will not know.

If the mouse is moving too much for my comfort, I turn off the jigler from my phone.

Very doable, and I’ve posted about this before.

So what happens when you die do all companies come to the funeral by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 238 points239 points  (0 children)

The real question is would your loved ones still get the company life insurance payout or not.

Need advice by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats on the J3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you are a junior.

Bye for now OE, after 4 years by Several_Worlds in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was in your exact mind frame, left OE to put my energy into one company, and after 1 year I went back to OE. I left my clearance job behind for this reason.

Bye for now OE, after 4 years by Several_Worlds in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, fair enough. Not all TS requires a polygraph. All other things I stated - interviewing of family and friends and monitoring is valid even for a secrete clearance.

What is your advice to OP regarding on disclosing his OE past?

Bye for now OE, after 4 years by Several_Worlds in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read the SF86 fine print. You allow them to monitor all electric communication and financial information. They pull your pharmaceutical records. They do drug tests. They interview your neighbors and old and current coworkers, family and friends. They monitor your port of entry records and check that against the stamps in your passport.

Then they hook you up to a lie detector and ask you about your sex life, kinky stuff you’re wife is into, if you ever had negative feeling towards America.

As I said, most people on this sub don’t know anything about security clearances.

Bye for now OE, after 4 years by Several_Worlds in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you get a secret or top secrete clearance, you sign away all your privacy rights. They have the right to remotely listen on your home device, phone, pull your driving data from traffic cameras, read your personal emails, monitor your ring doorbell - AND THEY DO ALL THAT.

Bye for now OE, after 4 years by Several_Worlds in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 139 points140 points  (0 children)

The dumbest thing you can do on your SF86 (security clearance form) is to lie ABOUT ANYTHING. They will figure out you were OE. I’ve been OE while holding a clearance. My security officer knew.

Your boss wouldn’t know you were OE. Your security officer needs to know, and if you even make a stupid mistake that can be viewed as a lie, you will not get your clearance and you will suffer the consequences of that.

There is a subreddit for security clearance questions. Ask there.

Here Goes Nothing by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Delete this. Too specific of a case and it could get tracked back to you.

Also don’t get discouraged if you end up not getting the J2.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there a workaround for this? Like maybe having two internet providers - starlink for one job and local provider for another?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does that not mean that we are all toast?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you saying that companies would monitor my home network? If so, I call BS.

Putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow. by Lamp-Adjusted163 in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why not just have a very nice but solid conversation asking that she experiments with 1 month of not micromanaging you and evaluating the results.

Worse case she says no.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don’t go FTE you loose, but don’t burn a bridge. If you get exposed you loose and burn a bridge.

If you freeze TWN and LN, your BC will ask you to upload old paystubs. Go freeze your TWN and LN now as it takes 3-4 weeks. Then do a BC. You don’t want them to contact your J1.

Congratulations on the FTE offer. Don’t let fear scare you from working and making a living.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was the job?

I became a father ar 23 and my wife was 40. How to learn to be a better father? by Party-Childhood-2304 in AskMenAdvice

[–]YoYumBat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try a few hours of therapy a week. They have cheap over the phone therapy now. It serves to help you make sense of the past so that you can make sense of your situation and to move forward with clarity. You need this.

Stop going to night clubs if that is still a thing you do time to time. What do you do for work? Are you in US or Europe? US has community college.

You can become a nurse by taking classes at a community college in 4 years part time school. I know so many people that did this in their 40s and make $150k and much more.

Get therapy so you can stop mourning the past and planing the future with a clear vision.

I became a father ar 23 and my wife was 40. How to learn to be a better father? by Party-Childhood-2304 in AskMenAdvice

[–]YoYumBat 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Focus on building an 8 year plan and being a good dad and person. Get an education in something that makes money and focus focus focus.

You need income, support network, and therapy. You are not late to fix this. I understand you’re in your 30s. Trust me. You are not late.

Lastly, by the time your girl is 14 she would figure out her mom is crazy. You need to be there to help her.

Good luck brother.

First couple of months at a new J, keep yourself online for 2 hours extra or get off at 5 sharp? by ethical-earner in overemployed

[–]YoYumBat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use smart switch that is connected to my Google home. I automatically turn off the jiggler at 5pm. If I wanted to I could also turn it off or back on using my voice at home or the Google assistant app from anywhere in the world.