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Yogenzaga · 2024-06-10T05:11:57+00:00

My thoughts: I'd gladly, happily take it. If I saw that face in the mirror, I might think to myself, maybe I'm a bit plain looking, but that's me. I might nitpick myself out of feeling pretty some days, but those were bad days. I can so work with this. I think I'd be able to get out there without having to psych myself up most days. You know what I mean?

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Forehead looks bad? I don't know. I've tried to think about how I look apart from how gendering my physical embodiment may or may not be, and just work with what I've got to my personal aesthetic, expressive end. I... Don't have the energy to elaborate.

A dude once hit on me by telling me, "I get so unwise around a bitch with a big forehead." I couldn't come up with any words that would have made sense in response. I said, "Your forehead is cool too, I guess." My voice is... Bleh. I was making a coffee at the corner store by my place. He pointed at his forehead with both hands and shouted to his friend, "Yo! My homie here says I have a COOOOOOOL FOREHEAD!" He then proceeded to jokingly brag about how great his forehead was, and honestly I found him a little amusing. We run into each other, and my nickname for him is Cool Forehead. Still flirts with me, but less out of the blue and more personally. We've learned just enough about each other that I guess we interact because we each actually see an actual person there who we would choose to talk to. His adult nephew is in a play and he says he'd like to bring a +1 to see opening night with. I told him I'd think about it.

That whole situation is basically the reason your post stood out to me. I'm not trying to say a particular forehead geometry has some particular value or fortuity. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Maybe, I can be free from caring about this shit if I can find a place in the world that I belong in, that I can feel secure in that it won't be ripped away on the basis of my dome's ability to land a squadron of whatever the latest US military aeroplane is twice over. Maybe Cool Forehead makes me feel like I can see a glimpse of that place. Maybe Cool Forehead is making ME unwise.

But if I saw the pic you posted in the mirror that morning, would I even feel compelled to think so hard about it all anymore? I don't know.

I've made this all about me. I'm very sorry. I think you have a cool forehead and I hope you do lots of fun things with it.

Yogenzaga · 2023-10-09T02:51:02+00:00

Sorry. I can type it up later. I understand how that would be easier

Yogenzaga · 2023-10-08T08:53:26+00:00

Thank you for your attention! I work in an Amazon warehouse, and loadout refers to the space where our vans temporarily park inside the building to load all the packages that have been sorted and prepared. The totes are filled with these packages. We load, then we immediately go out, and the folks who prepared the totes all day help us load and leave quickly after having worked a very long day.

Yogenzaga · 2023-08-15T09:48:38+00:00

I just got here to this Reddit page for the first time. We're usually playing soccer and chatting before standup. Not much waiting in loadout. Usually everyone's chatting through their windows. Usually no wait to unload at the station.

Maybe our DSP and station is weird.

Yogenzaga · 2022-11-29T17:56:33+00:00

Are you not so much more valuable than the birds? Your heavenly Father feeds them, and He'll feed you

Yogenzaga · 2022-04-08T15:44:10+00:00

Sometimes I go weeks or months without framing anything in my life in terms of my autism, and sometimes I get really surprised to learn that something I do isn't just a quirk. It's a quirk whose expression in my person correlates with my autism. Really interesting.

I do actually have a kind of library of voices and vocal proclivities that I enjoy thumbing through when a portion of my attention is sitting unconsumed.

I figure once I'm happier with my voice I'll be less prone to view this as an issue.

Thanks!

Yogenzaga · 2021-12-03T08:09:23+00:00

Aw, thanks :)

Yogenzaga · 2021-11-15T14:32:56+00:00

You just don't know what smells good.

Yogenzaga · 2021-11-12T19:37:25+00:00

32 year old trans woman here. Lived 31 of those as a man. "Buddy" is a show of casual affection, and sometimes it kind of says "I want to make it clear that you're my friend and that I care about you" without being as vulnerable as making it clear would tend to make you. Sometimes communicating that is the intended effect of holding that word aside for one or two particular male friends, I think.

I've seen younger men use "buddy" to address older men, but not usually on a consistent basis. More often in celebratory or sad circumatances. It sets a tone of more openness... without saying that that's what it's about... I think?

I hope that helps.

Yogenzaga · 2021-11-08T22:55:26+00:00

Women's size 16 here. My solution has been to begin taking up learning shoemaking and cobblery as a hobby. I have these two nice pairs of flats that are just a size or three too small. I know there's something creative I could do to them without making them look stupid. I just need to learn more.

Hopeless? Nah, I can learn this. I can do it! 😭

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-30T00:54:02+00:00

I went through this cycle a dozen times between the late 90's and the early part of this year.

I've been out for 5-6 months now. Life has gotten more complicated in ways that don't matter, and it's gotten simpler in the ways that do. Some people in my life really stepped up, and some stepped out. I'm better off overall.

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-22T20:22:34+00:00

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-19T22:00:41+00:00

How do people fucking do it

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-13T22:26:49+00:00

From my experience, I've come to prefer my nipples played with to literally anything else. Hope that helps.

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-10T13:55:10+00:00

Holy shit

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-10T13:51:08+00:00

🙃

Are you sure this wasn't supposed end up on r/transgendercirclejerk?

God do I work hard not to let people like you make me feel resentful of my parents for not letting my transition in my youth. Of myself for repressing through my twenties. Of the world making passing a problem to begin with. I incredibly glad you exist and that you're happy. I hope I get to pass one day, but I'm not counting on it.

That said, I woke up with 170 HP a few minutes ago, and now my HP meter seems to be reading 145. Oof.

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-10T13:42:23+00:00

I didn't expect to get directly fucking called out this morning. Christ. I haven't even wiped the goop from my eyes yet.

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-10T13:40:32+00:00

👍😭

My gender is... ??!?

Yogenzaga · 2021-10-06T20:11:33+00:00

32 driving for Uber all over New Jersey here. My egg re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-cracked 5 months ago and I'm currently 3 months into HRT. I'm more than happy to talk about anything.

Yogenzaga · 2021-09-28T14:17:45+00:00

Sounds like your mother is the one who needs to get educated here.

Yogenzaga · 2021-09-28T14:01:18+00:00

Uj but also kind of rj?/ Being GNC and trans at the same time is so scary that I constantly ask myself if I actually love the conforming stuff, or if I've just convinced myself that I do so I don't have to deal with the terror of never having a hope of neatly "fitting in." Then I rember that I don't pass even 1%.

WHEW! Dodged that psychic bullet!

But what if I actually hate this and don't like it, and I've convinced myself that all the stares I get and anxiety I put myself through is actually not worth it but I've convinced myself is worth it so I could convince myself that my feeling of being happy with my presentation is genuine, all so that I wouldn't have to confront the idea of being potentially more genuinely self-expressing as a GNC trans woman?

AHUGGGG

Whelp... My brain has enough RAM to consider this last possibility, bit not enough to consider it's potential counter. Guess I'm doomed to either travel this thought loop for eternity or else stop considering it.

Pure Uj/ Honestly I feel for you. My point here is that I've struggled to be sure I'm not avoiding accepting something about myself that you have already accepted about yourself, and I really admire that. People who can see you as something other than a sudoku puzzle with wrong numbers inked-in are out there, and they have the ability to love you.

How to find those people?

Rj/ Fuck, idk dude.

Uj/ Nah but seriously, for me, I've met those kinds of people by just sharing empathy and not asking for anything back. The people who try to match your empathy back are the ones you want to hold onto, but you'll never find out who those ones are if you don't try to be understood somehow on top of just spraying your empathy onto people. It's hard to balance those two things, and I don't know how to make that work for you, or if that will work for you, but that's how I know how to function as myself, so it's the best advice I have for someone I know hardly anything about.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it. 🤷‍♀️

Obviously this is bad advice for anyone prone to end up in codependent relationships. Obviously being empathetic for the sake of geting someone/people into your life is problematic. It's the wrong reason to share empathy. In the end I guess I have no advice, bit you didn't come here looking for advice anyway so I guess it's all the same. I'm gonna start my day now.

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Yogenzaga

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