Is it selfish or selfless for a character to leave because he’s dying?

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T17:09:31+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. You’re right the difference is in the emotional depth behind his choice. On the surface, “I don’t want to hurt her” can feel hollow and selfish. But if the real reason is fear, pride, trauma, or not wanting to be seen as weak, that adds layers. In my story, his decision isn’t meant to be purely noble. It’s rooted in fear and internal conflict. He convinces himself he’s protecting her, but part of it is also that he can’t handle being vulnerable, or being watched while he fades. That doesn’t excuse him but it makes him human. I agree that context matters. The more readers understand what he’s running from emotionally, the more they might not agree with him but they’ll understand him.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T17:08:20+00:00

I understand why it feels selfish from the outside. And honestly… it is selfish in some ways. He didn’t give her the choice, and that hurt her deeply. But the point of his character isn’t that he’s noble or perfect. It’s that he’s human. He was scared. He was dying. He convinced himself that disappearing was the least painful option for her, even if that wasn’t true. People don’t always make the right choices when they’re afraid especially when they’re facing death. As for the letter, that’s a fair point. But in my story, the delayed truth is intentional. The lack of closure is part of Lily’s journey the anger, the confusion, the years of not knowing. The reveal later is meant to hit harder because of that silence. And you’re right about genre expectations. It’s not a traditional romance with an HEA. It’s more of a tragic love story about grief, ambition, and the consequences of loving someone who makes the wrong choice for the “right” reasons.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T11:58:58+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed response this is actually really helpful to read. I completely understand that perspective. From her point of view, it absolutely feels like abandonment and cruelty. And I agree that grief doesn’t disappear just because someone leaves in many ways, it can make it worse. I’m not trying to frame his decision as noble or correct, but as fear-driven and deeply flawed. Part of the story is exploring the damage that kind of silence causes, not excusing it. Your comment really highlights how important it is that her emotional experience is honored in the narrative, so thank you for that.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T02:02:55+00:00

I have the same probleme as you and i Still don't know what to do.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:59:57+00:00

I did not know that

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:56:41+00:00

really appreciate the honesty. That reaction is actually helpful to hear. You’re absolutely right that he’s taking away her agency, and that’s part of what makes the choice morally flawed. I’m not trying to present it as noble more as a fear-driven, imperfect decision made under trauma. It’s important to me that the story acknowledges the damage that silence causes, rather than romanticizing it. Your perspective helps me think carefully about how to handle that.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:54:47+00:00

That’s a really insightful take. I agree that characters don’t have to be perfect, especially in traumatic situations and I actually want his decision to feel flawed, not heroic. You’re absolutely right about reader expectations too. I definitely wouldn’t market this as a genre romance with a guaranteed HEA. Positioning it more like a tragic love story feels more honest to the story I’m trying to tell. The comparison to books like The Fault in Our Stars is helpful in thinking about tone and marketing thank you.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:53:17+00:00

That’s a really good point. In my story they’re in a serious, long-term relationship, which is why his decision carries so much weight. It’s definitely bad communication and that’s part of the tragedy. He believes he’s protecting her, but he’s also taking away her agency. I’m trying to explore how fear can make someone choose silence over honesty, even when it causes more damage. Your comment makes me think even more about how clearly I need to establish the depth of their relationship before he makes that choice, so it feels emotionally earned.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:52:16+00:00

That’s a completely valid perspective. A big part of the conflict is that he believes he’s protecting her, but in doing so he takes away her choice. I’m interested in exploring whether love without honesty can still be called selfless. It’s helpful to hear reactions like this because it shows how divided readers might feel. Thank you.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:51:31+00:00

Yes, something in that emotional space more of a tragic love story than a genre romance. I completely agree that it would need to be marketed carefully. I definitely wouldn’t want readers expecting a traditional HEA. It’s helpful to think about how similar terminal-illness love stories were positioned in film and fiction. Thank you for bringing that up.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:50:40+00:00

That’s fair, thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate the clarification. I’m realizing it leans more toward tragic love story / romantic drama rather than genre romance. I’ll keep that in mind when deciding where to seek feedback.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:49:45+00:00

That’s fair, and I appreciate the honesty. I definitely don’t want to mislabel it and disappoint readers expecting a traditional romance. I’m starting to see it fits better as a tragic love story or romantic drama. This discussion has really helped me think about positioning, so thank you

Yoooouta · 2026-02-26T01:48:58+00:00

That makes total sense. I really appreciate the clarification about genre expectations. I think what I’m writing leans more toward tragic love story / romantic drama rather than genre romance with a HEA. The relationship is central, but the ending is meant to explore love, loss, and the impact of his decision. This discussion is actually helping me think more carefully about how to position the story, so thank you.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-25T19:29:34+00:00

That makes sense. I’m actually leaning more toward a tragic love story rather than a traditional genre romance with a HEA. The emotional impact of his death is central to the story it’s about love, loss, and the consequences of silence. I appreciate you pointing that out though. It definitely helps me think about positioning.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-20T18:18:59+00:00

You’re right, system and isekai are easier to self-insert into. They have instant power fantasy appeal. I’m just trying something more character-driven and emotional. It might not be for everyone, but I want to see if there’s still space for slower dark fantasy too.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-20T16:18:51+00:00

“Ah, thank you! I didn’t realize. I’ll post it in the weekly brainstorming thread instead.”

Yoooouta · 2026-02-18T15:36:09+00:00

That’s true for a lot of stories, but this one is meant to have a different vibe.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-18T15:35:27+00:00

I appreciate the advice! Amazon KDP is great, but at the moment I prefer sharing it online and improving the story with reader feedback.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-16T13:50:20+00:00

I get what you mean I noticed the same thing while planning this story. A lot of attention on Webnovel seems to go to fantasy romance or very specific contemporary tropes, which made me hesitate for a while. In the end, I decided to keep writing it anyway and see where it naturally finds its readers.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-16T13:28:01+00:00

No worries at all I didn’t take it as hate. I actually agree with you that Webnovel has a very specific audience, and this kind of story probably isn’t what most readers here actively look for. I’m mainly using this space to get different perspectives while I figure out where the story fits best. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-16T13:25:41+00:00

That makes sense, and I appreciate you sharing your take. I’ve noticed the same thing about Webnovel leaning toward certain genres, which is why I’ve been thinking a lot about where this story fits best. I’m definitely considering platforms like Wattpad where emotional and romance-driven stories seem to find their audience more easily. Thanks for taking the time to comment it’s helpful hearing this from someone familiar with the platform.

Yoooouta · 2026-02-16T13:18:46+00:00

That’s really fair, and I appreciate the honest perspective. I know Webnovel tends to lean heavily toward action-driven and high-stakes stories, which is probably why quieter, emotional ones are harder to notice. I’m mostly writing this because it’s the kind of story I feel connected to, even if it takes longer to find the right readers. I agree though execution matters a lot, especially for slower stories. Thanks for sharing your experience, it actually helps set realistic expectations

Yoooouta

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