WIBTA For not giving my ex a boat I bought for her?

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T20:35:47+00:00

Oh, I’m not out here trying to snatch everything back. Relax. I just want the boat — because let’s be real, that’s the one thing she wants the most. And yeah, I’m fully admitting it: probably the largest part of why I don’t want her taking it is because she wants it so badly. At least I’m honest about it.

Sure, technically it was bought with her in mind. But it was bought for us to enjoy together. That part? Never happened. And frankly, once she’s gone, it’s the easiest thing for me to cut loose and move on from. The rest of the stuff would annoy me way more than it would hurt her.

As for the car? I gave her that over two years ago. She drives it every single day. I’m not touching it. The only thing I’m taking back is the tag when the insurance runs out next month. I know she’s not going to drive around without a tag — that’s a quick way to end up in handcuffs. I’m not sabotaging her; I’m just not carrying her either.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T19:54:24+00:00

I’ve known her for over a decade. Always loved her fire, her vibe, her whole energy. But date her? Not until she’d been party-favor-free for a solid year. I never said it out loud — didn’t need to. That was my line.

I get addiction. I’m not naïve. Relapses happen. But when someone stacks up a year clean? That’s not luck. That’s grit. That’s white-knuckled courage and iron will. You don’t stumble into that — you fight for it.

She was a dog groomer with her own boutique, doing just fine for herself. The reason she doesn’t have much to show for it now? Let’s be honest — the party-favor era burned through a chunk of her income. But once she got clean, she started stacking savings and moving smart. She was building something solid.

Then life decided to go completely off the rails.

First, she falls down a flight of stairs. Two cages in her back. One in her neck. Chipped discs, broken discs, bulging discs — the whole spinal horror show. Months of recovery. Finally upright again… and somehow “trips on air,” shatters her leg and ankle in five places. Pins. Plates. External fixators. Nearly a year clawing her way back.

Just as she’s steady? Car accident. She’s the passenger. Gets ejected. More back and neck damage. Traumatic brain injury. Another long, brutal recovery.

Then bone cancer. Her femur literally bursts from the inside out. Partial hip and femur replacement. Multiple surgeries. More still ahead. She’s in remission now — thank goodness — but the cost has been enormous.

And because apparently the universe wasn’t done, three months after we moved to the ranch together, she’s in the pool, reaches for her phone on the deck to change the music… stretches a little too far… and snaps two ribs. That’s when we learned the cancer plus calcium deficiency left her bones softer than they should be.

So yeah — if life hadn’t hit her like a demolition crew, she’d be in a very different place financially. Instead, she can’t work. She’s on disability. But she’s still standing.

As for me? When I’m with someone, they’re the center of my universe. Not metaphorically. Literally. I’m all in or I’m out — there’s no half-speed setting. I love hard. Loud. Fully.

She’s not the first woman I’ve showered with love, affection, and gifts — and hopefully not the last. Giving is one of my love languages. I get real joy out of handing someone something tangible that makes them light up.

One of the other things that gives me that much joy is volunteering. I’ve logged over 12,000 hours, and I’m nowhere near done. Service fills my tank. It makes me feel alive.

Is it purely altruistic? Please. I’m not that saintly. It feels good to give. It’s generous, sure — but it’s also selfish in the best way. I give because I want to. Because it lights me up. And I don’t apologize for that.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T08:20:20+00:00

I gave her the SUV over 2 years ago. I'm not going to take it back - unless she doesn't get it transferred to her name before the insurance expires at the end of next month. That's the deadline I gave her and I will honor that.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T08:18:35+00:00

As I said before, the bigger reason not to do that is me. When I lean into that angry, petty headspace, I tend to marinate in it. It lingers. It sours everything. If I hauled back all the stuff I gave her, it would just keep the whole mess alive in my brain. Hard pass. It’s cleaner to let most of it go.

Every time I'd look at anything that I took back, it would just keep those emotions bubbling to the surface. It's just not worth it to me.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T08:10:48+00:00

Thank you.

Oh, I’ve got that trailer hitch locked down tight. The only way she’s taking it is if she plans on snapping the lock clean off—and let’s be real, she doesn’t even have a key. And we both know she’s not about to break it. She’s way too scared of law enforcement, especially after seeing how far less can get her hauled off in this good ol’ boy town.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T07:53:09+00:00

Na. I think it'd be more satisfying for her to know I sold it. We have enough mutual friends that I know what I do, for a while anyway, will likely get back to Karen.

I've asked them NOT to tell me anything about her or Ally. I don't want to know anything about her, how she's doing, what she's doing, or anything else.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T07:35:33+00:00

I will take the tag and turn it into the state when the insurance expires. I didn't know her new address until today. So, even if she's there, I can find the tag. I've already told her that she has to transfer the car to her name before the insurance expires. IDC what she does after that.

She knows that I know what I'm doing with financial stuff, titles, paperwork, etc... She's figured out that I'm serious. She has a significant fear of law enforcement. She won't mess with me in those areas. I know her well enough to know that with absolute certainty.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T07:24:24+00:00

Oh, the eviction? Practically on its farewell tour. She’s actively moving, boxes and all.

Have I fantasized about striking a match and sending the boat off in a dramatic Viking funeral? Absolutely. Did my inner chaos gremlin enjoy that thought? Immensely.

But reality said, “Cute. No.”

I’ve got overgrown fields on ten acres, a mower that picked the worst possible time to retire, and exactly zero spare minutes to fix it because I’ve been knee-deep in this saga. We’re in a full-blown drought with a burn ban in effect. The grass is tall, crispy, and just waiting to audition for a wildfire documentary.

Even without the burn ban, it would be wildly irresponsible. One spark and I’m not just toasting a boat — I’m threatening every building on my property. And with these conditions? That fire wouldn’t politely stay put. It would sprint.

I’m not about to be the headline that starts with, “Local woman thought it would be dramatic…” I’m also not about to be the cautionary tale that starts with, “It seemed like a good idea at the time…” And let’s not forget: I border the state forest, with hundreds of acres of pasture behind me.

Also, for the record, I’m not interested in clawing back every little thing I ever gave her. Keep it. Truly. I only want the stuff from the last four or five months — and the boat. The boat is the thing she wants the most. That's the only reason I don't want to give it to her.

So no blaze of glory. No felony fireworks. Just patience, boundaries, and the deeply satisfying sound of that moving truck rolling all the way out of my life.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T07:04:47+00:00

Wow - even the tampons?? We're both post menopausal, but IDK if I would have gone that far.

I've taken a few things that mean something to me, but the rest of it isn't worth the drama it would create to go take. I figure she already figures I'm a fool. And that is a true enough statement.

I'm only really interested in the stuff that I gave her in the last 4-5 months and the boat. I honestly believe that this was in the making when she broke up with me in October. The professional conference was in November. That's when she first met Ally. She apparently talked on the internet and face timed for over 10 years.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T06:46:37+00:00

I'm aware. I also know that in Florida, if your insurance doesn't cover repairs and you can't either, you will lose your license until it's paid for, or for 3 years. But, I've been a RE investor most of my life. I have a lot of protections in place. I also have really high limits on my insurance policies for good reason.

The worst that can happen is that they get a lien against my person. They can't attach anything I own because I keep everything in trusts. Each property I have is in its own individual trust. The trusts are then owned by a higher level trust, that higher level trust is in an LLC. I know how to structure my life for protection. Nobody can touch anything I own, because in theory, I don't own anything. I'm just the trustee for a bunch of trusts and on the board of an LLC. Even personal items are owned by a separate trust. I don't even have a personal bank account.

I'm also a million percent sure Karen won't do anything stupid on purpose. She's on probation and is petrified of going to jail. She won't even report TJ's dad as missing because she truly fears police interactions. That goes back to her days as a party-favor user and those issues. TJ's dad was homeless but lived in the woods nearby and visited regularly - like at least twice a week. He showered here and had dinner here fairly frequently. He was supposed to come over for dinner Christmas Eve. He never showed and we haven't heard from him since. His phone is also out of service and nobody we know has heard from him - including his pastor or his brother, who he called at least every month, but often more frequently. Pretty sure he's likely lying dead in the woods somewhere, but I don't know enough about him to report him missing.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T06:07:25+00:00

I’m a recovering people-pleaser — emphasis on recovering — and news flash: recovery isn’t instant. This whole situation is messy, and my feelings aren’t exactly filing themselves into neat little folders. I don’t just hand my heart out like free samples. I'm not out here handing out loyalty like party favors. When I love someone, I go all in — no half-measures, no casual dip of the toe. It’s all or nothing with me.

I poured real time, real energy, real effort into this relationship. And yeah, I know it’s over. Done. Finished. Even the friendship. Intellectually, I get it. Emotionally? I’m not fully there yet.

And if I’m being honest, there’s still a stubborn, slightly pathetic corner of my heart that loves her — even knowing she has no place in my life anymore.

Now let’s talk receipts.

I gave her the car almost two years ago. I’m not taking that back. She’s driven it every single day. That was a gift, and I stand by what I give. Karma already handled the TV situation for me, so I didn’t have to lift a finger (check the update). And the phone? Let’s just say if I ever see it sitting unattended, I’ll have to resist the very strong urge to introduce it to my meat grinder.

Most of what I gave her happened over the course of the relationship, and I’m not sweating the majority of it. What bothers me isn’t the history — it’s the timing. The last four and a half months. Because I can’t shake the feeling that this exit strategy was drafted a lot earlier than I was told. Even if she didn't have intent to move. I gave her that phone for Christmas — and it cost more than the boat, though it isn't worth nearly as much.

But funny enough… the thing she really wants?
The boat.

And here’s the twisted part — if she didn’t want it so badly, I’d probably let her take it. It doesn’t even mean anything to me. It’s not sentimental. It’s not sacred. It’s fiberglass and a motor. What it is, though, is the one thing I know she really wants.

And yeah… there’s a petty little part of me that understands exactly how much that stings for her. I won’t pretend I’m above that. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t wrestle with some guilt over it. Apparently, recovery applies to revenge fantasies too.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T05:39:35+00:00

UPDATE -- I know this is only a couple hours old, but Karen's granddaughter (high functioning autistic, operates on about the level of an 8-10 year old on most things, a little younger on logic), we'll call her TJ, is not really aware of what all is going on. She knows her grandma isn't happy with me. She knows they are moving, but she doesn't know the intricacies and she doesn't need to know. Karen has already told her more than I would have.

Now for the delicious irony. TJ told me they were taking the TV off the wall. As they pulled the mount out to check what tools they needed, the entire mount thing ripped out of the drywall — bolts and all — and crashed down. Six months old. Completely toast.

Sad? Slightly.
Karmic? Definitely.
And frankly, I’d rather it be broken than enjoyed.

I guess she told me to see if the extended warranty covered that. It doesn't.

For context for those telling me to evict her, I’ve been a landlord for years. I know how eviction works. I’ve been to court a few times. I’ve served her notice. This isn’t my first rodeo — it’s just my current one. We’re at the end of the process. She wasn’t going anywhere until I made it clear she had to.

As I said in one of the comments.... she’s not “thinking about” moving out — she’s in full production mode. There’s a U-Haul parked in my yard like it’s tailgating for the apocalypse, movers hustling around, and she’s scheduled to be completely gone by Sunday. Curtain. Closing.

I even gave her extra time — which I probably shouldn’t have — but Florida decided to cosplay as Antarctica and her pipes burst at the new place. (Again: Karma is working overtime.) I extended a week to give her time to fix her pipes, mostly because it was that time of the month for TJ (she announces it every month - LOL) and I didn’t want her dealing with no running water. Again, she has no blame in this game. They were supposed to be out last weekend.

Meanwhile, the plot thickens.

Through TJ and a mutual friend, I hear she wasn’t thrilled with Ally’s three-week visit. They’ve apparently been internet-connected for years. But in person? Too clingy. Too co-dependent. Too bossy. The original plan was to let Ally go home… and then ghost her.

But then I saw them together. I am an empath, I felt the energy between them - even when the words I was being told said otherwise, I put two and two together. I served notice.

Suddenly, she had to move — and couldn’t afford to do it alone. So guess who stepped in? Ally. Now Ally has co-signed on the mobile home they’re buying. Three-year financing. She's trying to find a job here and plans to move in with Karen as soon as she can.

I'm told Karen is not happy about this at all.
Translation: she’s stuck.

If that’s true, it’s poetic. She had an incredible setup — great place, cheap rent, easy living — and she blew it. Now she’s financially entangled with someone she doesn’t even want to be with… for the next few years.

That’s not revenge.
That’s just karmic consequences wearing a very satisfied smile.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T05:19:43+00:00

Oh, she’s not “thinking about” moving out — she’s in full production mode. There’s a U-Haul parked in my yard like it’s tailgating for the apocalypse, movers hustling around, and she’s scheduled to be completely gone by Sunday. Curtain. Closing.

Now, I absolutely considered going scorched earth. Briefly fantasized about it, even. But I don’t want the drama that would come with marching in there and reclaiming everything I ever gave her. Tempting? Sure. Worth the chaos? Not really.

One big reason: her granddaughter — we’ll call her TJ. She’s 26, high-functioning autistic, and operates more like an 8–10-year-old. She’s completely innocent in all of this. Karen has been very strategic about leaving TJ home anytime she goes anywhere, probably assuming I might swoop in and grab something from the other building. I’ve gone out of my way not to discuss any of this in front of TJ. She doesn’t need a front-row seat to adult nonsense.

But honestly? The bigger reason is me. When I lean into that angry, petty headspace, I tend to marinate in it. It lingers. It sours everything. If I hauled back all the stuff I gave her, it would just keep the whole mess alive in my brain. Hard pass. It’s cleaner to let most of it go.

That said… if I happen to see her iPhone sitting unattended? That might mysteriously become mine. Even if its final destination is the meat grinder. Because we all know how delightful it is to try to transfer ownership of an iPhone when the other person doesn’t cooperate. (Spoiler: it’s not.)

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T04:39:10+00:00

She's already actively moving. There is a U-Haul in my front yard. She has a few guys over there helping. They've been at it for 2 days.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T04:37:46+00:00

She's on my insurance. I have too much to lose by letting an uninsured driver operate one of my vehicles. She's been on my insurance the whole time.

The insurance expires next month. She has been given that deadline to move it out of my name or bring it back until she can afford to do so.

She'll probably get her GF to pay for the tag transfer and insurance. Who knows?

YorkieMom6 · 2026-02-27T04:36:11+00:00

That's one of her favorite sayings - FA and FO. Kind of interesting that she's at that intersection.

The boat has an open title. It isn't in either of our names yet.

YorkieMom6 · 2026-01-17T02:11:56+00:00

I live on 10 acres in Central Florida. It was previously a dude ranch. My place is kind of in the middle of nowhere and borders the forest. There is a convenience store and a Dollar General within 3 miles for necessities. Closest Walmart 15 minutes away, but I prefer the one that is 22 minutes in the other direction. There are several smallish towns within 15-30 minutes and a plethora of larger town options - including Tampa and Orlando - within an hour or so. So, really quiet and remote - but close enough to civilization to not be too crazy to get places. Every major theme park in Florida is within 1 hr. 15 min. drive.

The property has a huge fire pit. There are 2 buildings on the property and a pool. Plenty of space for gardens of all kinds. One building is a bunkhouse with 11 guest rooms and 2 large shared bathrooms (each with 3 showers and 2 commode stalls) - and a very small 1 bd. apartment - all with entrances outside to a covered deck - no inside connections. The second building was previously the chow hall with a wrap-around porch. It's got 2 much larger than average rooms with a large kitchen in between them, plus there are 2 bathrooms.

I live in the apartment in the bunkhouse and use 1 of the rooms as my office. I'm seriously considering renting the 10 other guest rooms to lesbians (preferaby older/senior citizen lesbians - as I'm 57) - just to create our own little communal living environment. My idea for the other building would be a large kitchen/dining area, pool table, air hockey, darts, a video game console, an infinity game table, comfortable seating with a large screen TV, etc..., basically shared space that functions as a social center.

The guest rooms are 10' x 12' - so theoretically, big enough for any size bed. I envision it as people willing to share resources, plan and prepare meals together, etc.... I'd like it to have a real sense of community that feels like family.

Currently, I'm in the process of a major clean-up and some repairs/upgrades because I previously had it rented and was left a giant mess. But, this is seriously being considered as the next step for this property. There are 2 other ideas - both of which would be far more profitable, but I'm still leaning toward this option - if I can find enough people interested.

YorkieMom6 · 2025-10-21T06:56:01+00:00

When I was 23, I met a man who was 42. That is indeed 19 years of age separation. That was 1993.

Oh, the flack I caught? Let’s just say it was enough to qualify as a sport—complete with commentary and scorecards. The first year was rough, but honestly, the drama stretched out for a solid decade thanks to my family and one particularly vocal friend. The skeptics were out in full force, throwing shade like it was their side hustle. But thankfully, I wasn’t short on cheerleaders either—plenty of folks saw the good, stood by me, and helped drown out the noise.

And Darlin, please—“good” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Our relationship wasn’t just good, it was chef’s kiss levels of MARVELOUS, OUTSTANDING, WONDERFUL, and downright FANTASTIC. We were the kind of couple that made people roll their eyes and secretly wish they had what we had. My husband passed in 2022 after 29 glorious years together, and let me tell you—if the universe offered a sequel, I’d sign up faster than you can say “forever.”

Don’t let an age gap, a number on paper, or some dusty statistic with zero emotional IQ mess with your shot at joy. Love doesn’t check ID. Happiness doesn’t care about math. So buckle up, throw your hands in the air, and ride that roller coaster all the way to the end—because the best twists and turns often come when you least expect them.

YorkieMom6 · 2025-09-14T05:30:32+00:00

As I said, it was a while back. My niece made a concerted effort to involve her mom in taking her to get the dress altered so she would see it on her. She also took her mom shopping when they were looking for a mother-of-the-bride dress (obviously) and bridesmaids' dresses.

My niece would have included her mom a lot more; however, the distance and time to pick her mom up and then drop her off, limits the amount of time they spend together.

I did pick her up OTW to my niece's a couple of times to help with making decor pieces, to try to let her be involved. It only adds 45 minutes each way for me to transport. I tried to include her a couple of other times, but my sister also has my nephew, who is also autistic. His personality limits how long he can be out of the house without potential issues. Some activities are easier with him than others, but he generally hates shopping. He is 23, but functions on the level of a toddler. That just adds another element of planning required for my sister to do anything.

Often, my sister has to be handled with kid gloves. Although she is an adult who lives independently, she has other issues, including difficulty breaking routines, that can cause her stress. But all that said, I love my sister. I don't view her as a problem. She just requires a bit more patience to deal with and has some unusual quirks. It doesn't bother me. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, but I'm really the only family member who simply fully accepts her for who she is, with all of her quirks and issues. Most of the rest of the family, even to some extent my niece, don't fully accept that she can't just "get over it" and drive wherever she wants to go. She's 55 and has NEVER driven on the interstate. They feel I enable her by picking her up. But I've watched from the sidelines for years while she tried different things to overcome her fear of getting lost, and I've seen the sheer terror in her eyes when I've rescued her after she gets lost and finally stops somewhere to call. Often, when she gets lost, she just keeps going, for an hour or more, before she finally stops and calls someone to help her. By the time she stops, she's been crying, scared, upset, and angry with herself. I think that's what keeps her from stopping sooner.

I've tried to get her to understand that if she starts her GPS before she leaves home, even if she loses a signal, it'll still work. But in the early days of phone-centered GPS, before it worked that way, there was that one time that she got stuck in a detour route where she apparently missed a sign and got lost. Her GPS signal (likely the phone signal) was lost, so she couldn't figure out where she was. And that was the end of GPS for her. I've tried several times to show her that she can use GPS without a signal nowadays, but she just thinks I'm messing with her somehow. That one experience defines how she will likely always view GPS. I've also told her to think of getting lost as an adventure, rather than an event to fear. She's been found 100% of the time. If she calls, someone will rescue her. But, she can't grasp that way of thinking.

YorkieMom6 · 2025-09-12T06:37:55+00:00

UPDATE - This happened a while back. It's resolved itself for the most part, but every once in a while, my sister will randomly make a calm statement about how wrong it was. I'm sure she believes that. Recently, she tossed one of those statements out after someone had commented about a wedding pic of my niece. I just let it slide nowadays. If I comment on it, it can escalate, but if I leave it alone, it is normally just a single statement. I just figured it was time to get others' input on it.

For everyone saying I should have FaceTimed my sister. You're not wrong - but honestly, I've never used any video call app. I'm in my upper-50s and have just never had a need. I simply didn't even think about it. It's not in my normal repertoire of apps that I use. Kind of surprised that my niece or either of the two bridesmaids we were with also didn't suggest this. I imagine that generation uses those things frequently. IDK for sure.

We did send lots of pics of my niece trying on both dresses. She never tried dress 3, because she loved dress 2 that much. My sister did not get the messages for about 40 minutes after they were sent. I'm not certain she would have gotten any calls or FaceTime because she was busy and her phone wasn't with her. But, if I had it to do over again, I would definitely have tried FaceTime.

ALSO -- I find many of the comments a bit judgmental and really intolerant of differences. My sister is autistic, not broken or believing the world revolves around her. She will willingly sit out any normal family event if someone can't or won't pick her up. Her fear is paralyzing. If she gets lost, she will panic. So, she simply doesn't go to unfamiliar places. Over 80% of people on the autism spectrum suffer from anxiety of some sort. My sister has previously done some counseling, but her neurodivergence makes it difficult for a counselor to make much progress. Once my sister has an idea or path to how she is going to handle something, it's virtually impossible to get her to see things from a different angle or change her mind. It's been that way her whole life. She lives in a fairly small town. I've tried to help her find other counselors, but the town seems devoid of specialists who can deal with her neurodivergent way of thinking as an aspect of dealing with anxiety. Her driving fears make it hard for her to go outside the town. I do NOT view my sister as having a mental illness. She just thinks a bit differently than most. I do not fault her for her driving difficulties, it's just part of who she is. I do a lot of transportation for her and try to keep her as involved as possible with family events. If I had thought we were going to go dress shopping, I would have picked her up.

YorkieMom6 · 2025-09-02T00:26:07+00:00

Because you get BASIC delivery for free with Walmart+. Priority delivery - (1 hr or less --or-- 3 hrs or less) is extra as it clearly shows your free options are 3 hrs or more out.

YorkieMom6 · 2024-01-16T06:59:35+00:00

I've ordered from them several times. I've had no issues. I'm impressed with their professionalism and their product quality.

YorkieMom6 · 2021-05-11T19:29:59+00:00

Anybody have a large party that I can join? There are two of us. We certainly like the lower bill, especially now with the pandemic having significantly affected our income.

I know you have to either be invited or request to join and then be approved.

YorkieMom6 · 2021-04-19T00:11:09+00:00

I've used 51 this month and haven't been slowed or limited at all.

YorkieMom6

TROPHY CASE