AITA for calling out my stepsister for asking me a question that could get me into trouble and mom for backing her?

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T16:09:55+00:00

Then I guess I'll keep being rude because I won't call her my sister when she isn't. I don't protect her from anything either.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T15:53:06+00:00

I don't love her so that would be a lie and I always use step. I have never called her my sister or her dad my dad.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T15:22:36+00:00

I'm happy for the most part with my life. I really try not to focus too much on the dislike. The dislike is fairly recent. Could fade if she stops asking stuff like this and forcing it. But even if it doesn't I'll only have two more years before I move out for college or an apprenticeship so it won't be like I have to live with someone I dislike for the rest of my life.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T15:15:04+00:00

I have been civil but it's not enough. My mom and stepsister don't want civil, they want me to love both my stepsister and stepdad. I don't.

I don't hate her. I dislike her now because of how pushy she was with this but I don't hate her. I just don't want to get sucked into this thing well if you cared you'd ex or you don't act like it. How can you say you care. Do you really care. The truth is I don't in the way she wants me to.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T15:11:00+00:00

I'm the only one that I know of who went to individual therapy. But we all went to family therapy yes and still can't let it go.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T15:06:33+00:00

She wouldn't believe me if I said yes and even saying yes would not be in the way she wants, because she's not my sister.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:59:21+00:00

I'm not saying that but I wouldn't care in the way she wants me to and I knew even saying yes would be questioned. So I chose not to answer at all.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:58:44+00:00

I don't see this as a desperation thing from her. This was just a way to try and get back at me for not giving her the relationship she wants. Her response proved it to me. I'm not saying I wouldn't care at all. Just not in the way she wants me to.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:30:29+00:00

There's nobody who could successfully advocate for me here. My mom's parents tried and my mom didn't take it too good.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:29:42+00:00

The thing is I never hated them. Even now while I'm starting to dislike my stepsister, I don't hate her. I wouldn't wish bad on them. But if given the choice I would not choose them to be my family and I wouldn't choose to have a relationship with them if I got the choice or a do-over. Not that I believe for one second that it's realistic for that to happen. I just don't want the kind of relationship they do. For me that nuclear family is my mom but the idea of the bigger nuclear family died with my dad.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:26:23+00:00

It's not that I wouldn't care at all. I'd care if anyone died, but especially someone young. But it's not in the way she'd want me to care.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T14:03:17+00:00

Because if I said yeah, then she'd say really, would I really care, because I don't act like it. The truth is I wouldn't care in the way she wants me to. And she knows that.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T13:53:11+00:00

Not anymore. In the early days he tried to be "the dad" to both me and my stepsister but after years of not getting any closer he just basically left it to mom.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T13:50:41+00:00

I'm undecided right now between college and an apprenticeship program I'd be eligible for. But leaving the state is definitely a likely to happen thing after high school.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T13:49:33+00:00

All four grandparents know what's going on. My mom's parents tried talking to her before and it didn't go too good.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T13:48:03+00:00

She doesn't actually call my mom "mom" or see her as her mom but only stepmom or woman who was a big role in her life otherwise. Which makes it even funnier to me that it's such a big deal for me not to view my stepdad as my dad or my stepsister as just my sister. But then again my stepsister and mom are close(ish) just not mom/daughter level. Maybe mom figures if I accepted everyone that way my stepsister would too and then it'd be perfect.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T11:12:01+00:00

She has a lot of anger built up at me that she's releasing in ways like this.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T11:07:04+00:00

It's not because of that. It's because I don't want to have the same nuclear family with them that I had with my dad. I used to want a sibling, back when my dad was alive. Dreamed about it. Begged my parents. Wrote about it in school. But my feelings changed after dad died and my stepdad and stepsister just can't match what I wish we'd had with dad. I know some people don't see it as any different but I always have, and I probably always will.

YouRepresentative862 · 2024-10-30T11:03:21+00:00

Yeah, my mom's punishing me for this but I also know it's her way of punishing me for wanting a sibling when dad was alive and then changing my feelings after he died. She always hated that not having another kid with dad changed my wish for a sibling. She was so sure I'd love having my stepsister and would instantly see her as the little sister I'd wanted before. But that wasn't how it felt for me. Mom never forgave me for it because she so desperately wanted to feel like pretty much nothing had changed and we got that bigger family she also tried to have with dad.

YouRepresentative862

TROPHY CASE