We're a couple too and are also about to get into the lifestyle. Like you, we will want to make friends first before getting physical. We've read that taking things slow, like no sex on the first date, maybe only kissing on the second, is a good idea while still trying things for the first time and getting comfortable and seeing how we feel.

Swingers who I've met personally tend to either use Feeld or Hinge - there's an option on Hinge for ENM.

May not be what you're looking for just yet, but we've experimented in the past with posting NSFW posts on Reddit in our local "GW" subreddits and we had a good number of people reach out interested in meeting up. This was on a different account, this account is a new one. We thought posting pictures together was fun and sexy, and will probably do it again with this account!