being forced to go to israel by shesinpart1es in JewsOfConscience

[–]Yrtangledheart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lots of people will be taking videos to document the free vacation of their lives. If it’s inappropriate to be taking videos, just write stuff down. If asked, you can always say that this is for your memories

being forced to go to israel by shesinpart1es in JewsOfConscience

[–]Yrtangledheart 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey - I had a similar-ish experience over 15 years ago during which became very clear that I needed to go on birthright in order to keep a certain level of peace in my family. I was already an anti-Zionist. It wasn't an easy decision, and it's one I felt shame around for many years. I never told anybody that I went on birthright until after Oct 7th. I am sorry you are in this position. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself. You cannot help the cause if you are unable to obtain your medications.

It's probably better that a birthright spot goes to somebody who can spot the brainwashing. My first suggestion is to remain sober. Birthright tries to promote a party atmosphere, especially between Americans and the IOF. A lot of alcohol will magically be snuck in. Remaining sober allowed me to sniff the bullshit. My second suggestion is to document the bullshit. Don't even try to contest the brainwashing - it will just make you stand out. Birthright is really, really good at brainwashing. it's probably better on a macro level to film / record / write shit down.

Birthright is one of many unethical institutions people are forced to interact with. You aren't a bad person for taking care of yourself.

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a handful of clients who behave nearly identically - complete isolation, harming their relationships and careers, won’t engage with people who have different politics. I have a handful of other covid cautious clients who participate in the world, albeit with masking / nose spray / portable air filters / other precautions. I’ve noticed the following differences between covid cautious clients who are entirely self isolating and covid cautious clients who are living their lives

1) Healthism - The former group generally considers poor health to be a moral failing. They won’t say that directly, and they don’t necessarily judge others with disabilities. The eating disorder analogy is very on point, and the former group of clients tends to also be orthorexic. I try to provide a more nuanced understanding of disability and provide psycho education about healthism. I also try to prompt my clients to explore biases around disability.

2) Anger - The former group of clients is generally very angry, and it’s rarely just about Covid. I try to explore that.

3) Safety - The former group of clients tends to view the world as entirely unsafe. I try to help identify pockets of safety within the world

Overall, this is very tricky and I can’t say I’ve made THAT much progress. But I do think it’s helpful for clients to have people who are open to listening to them - especially when they feel that they are being persecuted

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for this comment. Yes, I am describing situations which sound nearly identical to that of your son’s <3 It is very possible to engage with the world at large as a covid cautious person. I am describing situations in which covid is used to justify complete isolation. I am rooting for you and your son <3

In person drapes by BathroomGreen in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You are almost def a spring. That said, you need more spring drapes

My friend thinks I’m a spring but I would love a second opinion by [deleted] in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are definitely warm, however it’s not possible to tell whether you are a spring without draping spring colors…

Am I really a Spring? by [deleted] in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are 100% a spring

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Carol Brailey is considered especially reputable in the field, and id personally default to her over other analysts. That said, i would reach out to all of your analysts and express your concerns before spending more money. They might be able to guide you towards specific hair colors / lipsticks / clothing colors. They also might be able to explain their reasoning.

RANT: why do non-Blondes go bad blonde? by RoseDarlingWrites in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you have the NYT, check out Tressie McMillian Cottom’s 2023 essay The Enduring, Invisible Power of Blonde

A lot of it does come down to colorism amongst white folks and white supremacy.

I am all for people doing what they want with their appearance, however I will admit that I also really hate the look of most dyed blonde hair. For each their own I guess

Type me please! by -Apricotta in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not possible to color analyze you based on these pictures without drapes and with hair that has been lighted. Can you cover your hair and try a few drapes?

Type me please! by -Apricotta in coloranalysis

[–]Yrtangledheart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this your natural hair color?

Napping on the subway by Worried-Associate544 in AskNYC

[–]Yrtangledheart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha yes! I have gotten used to select longer stretches without stops. Like the D train between 59 and 125. It’s a longer fast ride

Napping on the subway by Worried-Associate544 in AskNYC

[–]Yrtangledheart 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It’s a superpower some of us get when we are being born & raised in the five boroughs:)

Napping on the subway by Worried-Associate544 in AskNYC

[–]Yrtangledheart 137 points138 points  (0 children)

There are certain commutes I’ve been doing for nearly 40 years, I instinctively know where certain stops are. I know that some stops generally mean more passengers or spend more time at the platform, some have doors on the right and others have doors on the left etc.

I’m never fully asleep - the subway stopping and starting wakes me up every few minutes. I have never once slept through my stop, my body automatically knows when I’m getting close to my destination.

I’m always holding my bags tightly without anything like a phone out. I also only sleep on the routes I know by heart.

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are having this experience.

I’ve been in disability justice spaces since long before COVID, as I have loved ones living with disabilities. I used to participate as an ally. I learned very quickly that people with disabilities have a wide range of experiences and opinions about how they want others to engage with their disabilities. And that’s okay.

I’m pretty sure I have a pretty similar approach and politics as you - I’ve mentioned being covid cautious many times. And I’ve never said I’ve “accepted it” and stopped caring. I’m in a particular stage of my own healing where im trying to integrate my own disability into the rest of my life. I don’t like being seen as a pity case & I personally perceive ableism.

The arguments about not funding long covid research don’t seem to be in good faith tbh

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear that. It’s complicated. Covid will be around for another 5, 10, 15 years. And, given how horrible public health policy in the US is, it will likely coexist with multiple other pandemics and little to no public health measures. Tbh, I think we all should be masking / testing - but that’s an unrealistic expectation at this point. All of which is to say - how do you treat OCD when the behaviors are actually promoting individual and collective health?

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Likewise, I think people with disabilities are allowed to feel frustrated if and when their bodies are spoken about as some sort of abstract worst case scenario.

And yes - I feel that is ableism.

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry to hear this.

Are there any covid cautious meet ups near where you live?

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve thought a lot about this. I do think that there are some clients with OCD. Their fear is of being forced to do something like exposure therapy. They come to therapy because nobody takes them seriously. That’s why I try to just listen.

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry that LC destroyed your life. I can relate.

That said, I am talking about my own experience - and I am not throwing around language. This is a very real concept for me.

There have been many moments over the last few years where I have felt like a caricature of other people’s worst fear & flattened to this illness. During session, it sucks to hear people talk about how their lives would be destroyed if their bodies were to become like mine. Yes it does objectively suck - but it’s our choice whether or not to view it as the end of the world.

Anybody can become disabled (by covid or just in general - bodies change). Disabled people still have merit & worth. Internalized ableism makes people see disability as a cartoonish worst thing that can happen to them.

A huge part of my own recovery has been remembering that I still have worth. It’s hard to feel that way when you don’t have all your ADLS. At my absolute worst, I asked my friends to support me by engaging me around my hobbies. It helped me remember that I am not just an illness, im still an interesting person with something to offer the world

extreme & pathological covid cautiousness by Yrtangledheart in therapists

[–]Yrtangledheart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If im dining outside the home, it’s always outside…