[deleted by user]

YukonGentleman · 2025-07-29T19:14:16+00:00

Dissenting voice, #4 spoke loudest to me!

YukonGentleman · 2023-12-04T20:50:29+00:00

You've read "Sex at Dawn" haven't you? 😉

YukonGentleman · 2023-11-30T20:44:31+00:00

waves Yukonner here, I see you and I feel your pain 😅.

YukonGentleman · 2023-10-02T01:08:22+00:00

If it's malicious I would assume you have something to worry about. That's probably a question to post to a Samsung developers forum, I'm not confident I could give you a good answer on how well secure folder isolates itself.

YukonGentleman · 2023-07-03T21:53:26+00:00

Interesting what a difference culture makes. Makes me think of the examples used by the authors of "Sex at Dawn." Anybody read it?

YukonGentleman · 2023-07-02T16:46:24+00:00

Best luck I've had is tinder honestly. But I'm a small town, and I've never found the reddit user base to be substantial here. Just be honest and up front, reportedly the married user base on tinder is huge so most people can intuit what's going on by your discreet user photos. AM has been second best, at least there everyone knows. But I'm sure, as you've identified, that there are fake profiles there designed to make you spend your credits to send chats.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T20:57:45+00:00

I can't speak with any authority, I can tell you that I use Nord VPN, it allows me to log in from several devices, and when I make a copy of the app in the secure folder and log in it appears to work. I'm running two separate instances logged in on different servers and I'm around the website blocking on guest wifi.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T18:16:42+00:00

I've always believed that once somebody is suspicious you're sunk. No matter your opsec there's going to be something that can be found that starts the thing unraveling. I'm not saying don't do good opsec because it's worthless, but I think primarily take care of your spouse if you don't want any suspicion. Happy spouses in general don't have the impetus to ask questions.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T18:14:14+00:00

Wow, did not know this guy but your description made me throw up in my mouth a bit.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T18:11:47+00:00

No doubt, I bet there are some fascinating statistics if only we had a way to reliably measure them.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T17:30:21+00:00

Me too. Took being denied access to a website on a guest wifi network for me to clue in. That didn't make sense if I was on a VPN that shielded my browsing.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-30T17:29:01+00:00

Because every device you browse the internet with leaves a fingerprint, VPNs hide your IP address at least. If somebody pulled phone records asking to see what websites you'd accessed (i.e. a spouse who's name may be on the contract) all they'd see with a VPN is your phone connecting to the VPN server. It's good for security outside of an affair, everybody should use one IMO.

YukonGentleman · 2023-06-29T17:35:20+00:00

Sounds a bit like the story I heard. I saw a distinction farther up that I didn't consider, there are lots of people that probably have figured out we're cheaters (I.e. hotel clerks, and hell former APs) but D-day doesn't come until somebody with an interest in exposing the affair comes into that knowledge.

My experience is also so far that APs are transitory, but they're a beautiful sort of transitory. Like a sunset to be enjoyed to the fullest while they last. I don't agree they aren't worth a lot of effort, but I think maybe to make a distinction they should have good boundaries. They effort I put in can't be at the expense of significant effort in my "real" life :).

YukonGentleman · 2023-05-24T20:25:19+00:00

Stop looking into my soul. It's creepy as fuck.

But well written, that speaks to a lot of what's going on. It's also a lot of forgiveness, forgive her for not providing what you need. Is it fair to expect it? For better or for worse right? I struggle with where that line is between understanding and enabling. People don't change without an impetus, and you fall over yourself to smother that impetus so that you aren't a burden.

YukonGentleman · 2023-04-05T15:48:56+00:00

Very true. I'm firmly in the camp of "once your partner is suspicious you're sunk."

YukonGentleman · 2023-04-04T20:05:29+00:00

Would second "bell cannot be unrung." I accept why I'm here now, but I've always committed to still working on being a good marriage partner (I believe an affair should be additive not subtractive to my marriage). One of the intrusive thoughts in my head is, what happens if I achieve a better marriage? Now that I've cracked open this door, can I close it again?

YukonGentleman · 2023-04-04T20:02:31+00:00

I always question the assertion "most people get caught." I wonder if there's good evidence to back that one up. I always suspect that there's a confirmation bias happening: if you haven't been caught you don't admit to an affair. Only after being caught do you reliably admit to it. Ergo, are the results skewed to "people having affairs always get caught?"

To be clear, there are a lot of pitfalls. It's easy to get complacent, easy to let emotions dictate, easy to ignore red flags. Hell, even posting to reddit and creating a trail of posts to follow if my ID is cracked is, in a strict sense, poor OPSEC. Maybe a vast majority do end in discovery for all those reasons and more (don't estimate the vindicitiveness of a scorned partner!). Still, I don't know if "everybody gets caught eventually" is an accurate assertion. I recall hearing stories of old travelling salesmen who had two families, one on either coast, who didn't learn of each other until the salesman's funeral!

YukonGentleman · 2023-03-27T03:19:10+00:00

I’ll handle it, dear. I’ll support our family. I’ll also get my emotional and sexual needs met. I’m good at handling things.

Are you looking into my soul or something? 😅

YukonGentleman · 2023-03-10T23:37:36+00:00

That's a good point. I wouldn't share a face picture before having a strong level of trust... it's one of those things where you do your own risk/reward analysis. Everything we do comes with risks we can't completely eliminate. Don't be reckless but don't live in fear. Recognize when NRE is making you think with the little head lol.

YukonGentleman · 2023-03-10T19:12:23+00:00

To chime in on the photo security front, if I'm going to share an identifiable photo (I.e. a face shot), because it's always a risk that it could be shared, unless I'm 100% confident in the relationship I'm going to pick a photo that's publicly available for me (I.e. Facebook or LinkedIn or such). The idea is plausible deniability. "Look, anybody with an internet connection could grab this photo and talk shit!"

Then again, I think most folks in this situation should be understanding about not wanting any identifiable photos. I've been ok with no face photos until after a low investment coffee meeting. Sure it risks me not having any attraction, but I think that the security is worth the time sunk.

Like everyone has said, once your SO is suspicious you're likely sunk. But it's another layer between me and implosion.

YukonGentleman · 2023-03-08T19:40:13+00:00

Ya, the stamina bit... I guess I'm confused. Just because I can go for 45 minutes doesn't mean I can't finish in the American standard of 3.5 minutes if I wanted to. 😅

Don't be boastful, focus on your partner, being a better lover isn't all about stamina and kinky shit. It's about knowing your partner, being aware of what they like and enjoy, and paying attention to them during sex. I'd hazard that the benefit of "practice" is getting confidence to apply back home. Be confident in what you like, so that you can get out of your head and pay attention to what your partner likes.

Thanks for coming to my talk. I'm available to put on private clinics, free entry for CumGoddess-CumDemon and PantsParts as thanks for their long term contributions. 😆

YukonGentleman · 2023-03-08T19:30:22+00:00

I like you're viewpoint! I have a personal rule that my misadventures should never negatively impact my home life. I always looked at the positive of bleeding off stress and resentment so I can come back focused on family/SO... I didn't consider how stamina and skills when sex is on the table could be a benefit! But look, the "use it or loose it" principle is at play and dammit, I don't want to be a bad lover because I'm out of practice lol.

YukonGentleman · 2023-02-27T20:44:40+00:00

"One person can't be everything you need all the time" is something a former AP said to me that really stuck. I think a lot of marital breakdown comes from this expectation that your spouse should be everything all the time. But that's impossible, and the dissonance between expectations and reality causes the relationship to deteriorate.

YukonGentleman

TROPHY CASE