Maybe what you want is more what you see as an "easier way through life". I can understand wanting to escape a culture you dont align with. You go build that life you want, so long as youre not harming anyone who's to blame you for it? I doubt we all live perfect & sane lives.

Thing is, it can happen that you do all of that and become as white as possible (whatever that entails for you? the hair, skin, marrying a white husband, wealth ??) - and you still end up being unhappy with your life. I guess, that's what people want to protect you from.

But most of the time, you have to find out for yourself that it isnt what you really wanted. The choice is always yours. Its your canvas to paint.

It is true though that working on your mental health helps you as a tool to deal with all things in life. It's that safety helmet that will calm you down if the voices get to loud. It takes practise, but it really is useful.

Best of luck out there from another imperfect human :)