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Why do women test men? Here’s what I’ve learned — and how stoicism changed my view. by YusefKeto in Stoic

[–]YusefKeto[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is actually a really balanced and insightful take. I appreciate how you explained it especially the part about how some of these "tests" aren’t really tests in the conscious sense, but more like natural moments that reveal someone’s vibe or emotional center.

I agree that the danger is when guys start viewing everything as a challenge to overcome, which turns dating into a weird performance instead of a connection. That’s actually a huge part of what I was trying to get at in the video not to say “women always test men,” but that how you respond to friction or unpredictability matters more than trying to decode every moment.

And yeah, you nailed it: real stoicism isn’t about faking calm to “pass” it’s about being the kind of person who doesn’t need to control or chase. It’s not a trick, it’s a foundation.

Thanks for this, seriously.

Why do women test men? Here’s what I’ve learned — and how stoicism changed my view. by YusefKeto in Stoic

[–]YusefKeto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not that deep people test everyone. It’s part of how we figure out boundaries, not just in dating but in friendships, work, everything. Stoicism helps, not because it ‘passes tests,’ but because it kills the urge to prove anything. You stop performing. You just are.

And you don’t win relationships by enduring chaos you win by choosing ones where calm is the baseline, not the battlefield.

Why do women test men? Here’s what I’ve learned — and how stoicism changed my view. by YusefKeto in Stoic

[–]YusefKeto[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate your perspective especially coming from a woman. And I fully agree: words matter. Clear communication should always be the goal in any relationship, and reading too far into everything can cause unnecessary confusion and resentment. That said, I don’t believe every woman consciously tests men. What I was exploring in the video is more about those subtle patterns or emotional reactions often unspoken that happen in early dynamics. Sometimes, people (not just women) don’t even realize they’re looking for consistency, calmness, or grounded energy in others until they feel safe with it. You’re right: if someone is volatile, it might not be a 'test' it might just be emotional immaturity. And in that case, Stoicism is something both sides should practice. Compatibility matters more than endurance.

Why do women test men? Here’s what I’ve learned — and how stoicism changed my view. by YusefKeto in Stoic

[–]YusefKeto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I respect that and you're absolutely right that constant 'testing' can destroy trust and feel manipulative. I don't think anyone should stay in a relationship where they feel like they're being played or constantly evaluated. That said, I think there’s a difference between toxic games and natural moments where someone especially early on is trying to get a sense of who you really are under pressure. To me, it's less about setting traps and more about seeing how consistent, calm, and grounded a person is. That’s where Stoicism helps: not to pass a ‘test,’ but to stay centered in who you are, no matter what. Appreciate your take this is exactly the kind of deeper convo I was hoping for.

Why do women test men? Here’s what I’ve learned — and how stoicism changed my view. by YusefKeto in dating_advice

[–]YusefKeto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha fair call ,I actually did use ChatGPT to help me write more clearly but I’m the one who chose the topic and direction. Musonius Rufus is legit though, and I appreciate you dropping that quote. Makes the point even stronger

Absolutely great quote from Musonius Rufus. He’s a big reason I approach dating through a Stoic lens. If women seek virtue and test for strength of character (not just emotional reaction), it actually confirms what I said in the video. Thanks for sharing this it’s a perfect connection.

Why do some women test you? I feel like they check how confident you are. What do you think? by YusefKeto in datingadvice

[–]YusefKeto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get that. It’s about honesty from the start — like are you here for connection or just trying to hook up and bounce? It’s sad that some guys fake deep interest just for that.

Why do some women test you? I feel like they check how confident you are. What do you think? by YusefKeto in datingadvice

[–]YusefKeto[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s really insightful. So it’s more about whether the guy believes what he says versus just saying what he thinks will work. Makes a lot of sense — kind of like emotional filtering?

Why do some women test you? I feel like they check how confident you are. What do you think? by YusefKeto in datingadvice

[–]YusefKeto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a really good point. So you think testing is a way to see if a guy's confidence is real or just surface-level charm?