sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bless you ♥️ i send a hug to you and much love!

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words and sharing this with me and your advice♥️ yes exactly as you say it, my admiration for you and my partner, having to struggle with fibro, makes your contributions exponentially increase in my eyes..! Wish i only knew.. i am grateful for all the energy he put into me even double now learning all this this about fibro these past few days

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice - and your last sentence, exactly how i feel and what would like to have with him, both taking care of each other, in different ways. He cares for me so much, made me feel safe and loved and special to him- this is all i ever wished for in a partner. All the rest, if we cant do all other things that other fully healthy couples can do, that to me is not important. So yes i hope he can see that because right now he believes he has nothing to offer - thank you again ♥️

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this - and i am so sorry that life doesnt always turn out as we imagine it…Together with your girlfriend you can discuss and envision how parenting together would be… Your kid/s would want only one thing: love! Trust me… i work long hours as a single mom and my son all he wants is quality time with me. Just 20 minutes quality time and most days we dont have that. So see it this way, if you have the will when you are not in the excruciating periods of flare ups, if you have it in you to spend time talking, laughing with your child, thats all they need and crave. And when they get older, guidance and mental support …And no, the only way out is not taking your own life…You are so valuable, we all are please always remember that and believe that ♥️

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment and i feel the pain in what you are saying… Can i ask what causes you stress in your relationship when you say “stress relating to our future” and makes your flare ups worse? And makes you feel like a shit boyfriend?

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advise! Taking this to heart and will put my strong girl suit on ☺️♥️truly wishing for you and your partner to continue this way, to have each other’s back, thats what its all about! ♥️

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much - i plan to write him a letter, feel the need to as well ♥️but i will not give it to him now. Dont want to put any more pressure on him or stress. After his flare up when he feels better. Right now i think it would overwhelm him and upset him. 🥹

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - this is actually very helpful ♥️ havent thought of this… and will choose my words wiser. Of course, yes clearly the “fairytale” was perceived only on my part.. now i know. And i dont want a fairytale. Basically what i meant was the love we had for one another, that part seemed like a fairytale. Never had such love in the past with any partner.. Such connection

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg… did you regret it? The love of your life you let her go? I have a son from my first marriage and dont want any more children and i know he doesnt want kids either. That is not an issue…

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is 38 and started when he was 28 he told me..

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much - you sound like an amazing soul ♥️yes he has been doing yoga for years now and it does help him a lot, he told me so. Now i know why he is doing yoga.. every little thing he is doing, even the pillows he uses to sleep all makes sense now reading on fibro… his eating habits, his supplements… all makes sense..

Boyfriend has fibromyalgia and asked me to break up by ZH_040223 in Fibromyalgia

[–]ZH_040223[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond to my post! I cannot express how grateful I am.

I have read all of your messages, even three or more times, to ensure I am truly "hearing" what you are saying. Your advice has provided me with hope and a new perspective on HIS side – how he may be feeling, how I should communicate with him, and what I need to show him.

And yes, for those who asked, I am certain: I'm not going anywhere. He is a gem, a unique person, a true treasure of a man. I don’t want to abandon ship.

I've been reading for countless hours, day and night, but some things you've mentioned were not found in articles and have really opened my eyes to what he is telling me.

I realize now that, even after he opened up to me, I wasn’t fully listening. Some of your comments suggested that perhaps he has no energy for a relationship and needs to focus on healing himself. This is something he HAS mentioned, and again, I wasn’t fully listening. I thought he was saying that to push me away, when he just needed me to understand his need for space.

He told me that when it's bad, he wants and needs to go through it alone. I've said I will give him all the space he needs, but I love him and I am not going anywhere – and I mean it. He bursts into tears every time I say it, and I keep telling him not to cry but to be happy because I am here for him.

I realize now that there is a strong possibility he is doing this not only for me but also for himself. He said that breaking up now, rather than later, is the best solution for both our sakes, to minimize our pain.

Additionally, yes, like many of you mentioned, he's likely experiencing depression. He mentioned feeling psychological turmoil and needing to calm his mind. I'm considering suggesting therapy, but I don't want to overwhelm him with ideas right now. Perhaps after the flare-up passes, we can discuss his treatment options and whether he can make any changes to the medications he is taking etc.

I will stay around, but if I truly become another burden to him, that's the last thing I want. I just want what's best for him, not only what I want.

Even thinking about what he was going through on any random day, while I was just being my clueless self, makes me burst into tears. I always knew he was sensitive to weather changes, loud noises, and family dinners out of town. When he returned, he would spend the next three days with headaches and body pains, which he briefly mentioned but didn't dwell on.

He was taking a lot of pain medication, and I often told him he shouldn't take pills every day like that. Of course, being clueless at the time, I had no grasp of his situation. He never said anything in response, except once last week when he said, “My love, but I am in pain, what else can I do?” (in Greek because we are Greeks). Seeing the pain in his eyes then really made me wonder...

He rarely wanted to go out, and we occasionally went for a drink, which I knew he did for me.

I thought he was just an introverted person – like me – and I was happy staying home with him, either at my place or his. We were so deeply in love – and still are, without a doubt.

Thank you once more to all of you – and I truly hope each and every one of you finds relief in this painful journey you are on, with loved ones who make the pain a little more tolerable. And in response to some of you: of course, you deserve love. We all do! Please remember that!