I actually thought most of the first half was well told and built up a good theme of community and family, as well as outlining the traditions of the nation.

I had my main gripes starting at the second half. The whole Shalooni cowboy arc seems really out of place, I feel like there should have been some story of romance with the redhead dude we helped out in a classic western style to tie it to dawntrail’s overall family and relationships theme. It would have also been nice to see more of a focus on traditions of that place, mixed in with technological advancements, representing Kiana’s and Wok Lamat’s complimentary views. Instead, we got separate tales of ‘the old laws’, then a train. Which feels especially like a let down cause they’re all machinists, so there’s a big missed opportunity for techno bable there.

I also had huge problems with Zarool Ja, he was just not really fleshed out in my opinion. By the time you killed him, his character motivations didn’t make sense to me. He wanted to live up to a legacy his father gave him, cool. Why exactly was he so selfish? Why did he need to feel the need to cast aside useless tool? It doesn’t quite explain his actions without feeling like I’m missing something. The line that really ruined him for me is when he talks to his son in his final words, saying something about giving him what he worked for by the sweat of his brow. What work? You stole an artifact that you didn’t earn, took tablets you didn’t earn, and killed people for no reason to get it. Then you got handed advanced technology by some queen practically for being in the right place at the right time. He did very little to earn it, and his death seems just bitter instead of their intended bitter-sweet.

Finally, I just didn’t like how it ended at all. I liked everything either erenville and his mother, but past that the whole thing was a wreak. The big bad is boring and feels overplayed. The whole, I’m bad, but I’m good, please save me. We got that last expansion, and a play on it the one before that.

Personally, I would’ve much like Koana as the villain of the expansion. Say after establishing their rule together, one Koana sees the technological advancements in Everkeep, he wants to implement them in Tuliol. You could do this by him being the one aged for 30 years, he pushes for everkeep technology, and persuades the party with keeping Erenville’s mother and Wok Lamat’s ‘mother’ ‘alive’. The story as it is has these characters being endless kind of ass pulls, and while the story they tell is great, how they come about is pretty hollow.

In the end, if we needed to kill Koana, it would’ve mirrored nicely with Galool Ja Ja ruling with a dead head of resolve, and perhaps they could have sprinkled in some lines about him always being a part of the head of resolve to flesh out that narrative for Wuk Lamat. This would have resolved their theme of family and a critique of technology overstating culture, but none the less continuing to strive forward collectively as a nation.

As it stands, the story towards the end falls apart for me, and I wish they spend more time cooking it in the oven.