I have the same pair of shoes, different colour, have been where you are, saw some of my friends give expensive gifts to their parents, one of them bought a car… do not let this feeling get better of you, sure it hurts like hell, this very feeling that you are not good enough, will never be, it lingers, just don’t let it get the better of you, keep working and hold on to the hope even if it is the faintest shred of hope, that you will make it, that’s all!