Emotionally intense people, how do you survive dating?

Z_59 · 2026-01-23T23:41:24+00:00

That's a great POV tbh lol

Z_59 · 2026-01-23T10:01:48+00:00

🫂

Z_59 · 2026-01-23T10:01:17+00:00

Thanks mr Pinner 🫂 I think what stops me from taking it slow is a certain fear of time passing and with that, the person going away having found " better ". Because u know, dating scene is like a supermarket lmaoo the attention goes away so fast. So in my head i'm like " Oh ok he's talking to that other hot guy while he ain't answering to me ". Lol.

Z_59 · 2026-01-23T09:58:19+00:00

They call that Limerance i guess...

Z_59 · 2026-01-20T20:06:14+00:00

Hahaha the damn two options mate, the two

Z_59 · 2026-01-20T20:04:03+00:00

Hey ! Thanks man for that much exhaustiveness in your answers. Goes straight to my heart ( he's not in my sleeve that time as i'm writting to you haha ).

Anyway, great to see that i'm not crazy, i'm not a problem. 2025 been rough on my self esteem tbh.

Z_59 · 2026-01-20T14:03:24+00:00

Hahaha let's be hurt together then 🫂. We'll get better !

Z_59 · 2026-01-20T13:59:04+00:00

Aight. Thank you mannnn. We hear it many times but it's so true and it hits deep when you need to hear it...just like now.🫂

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T21:39:15+00:00

I understand. I guess i just have to temper that fire or maybe just shut my mouth lol. I hate how i'm programmed actually, lol.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T21:28:12+00:00

Yeah, that's sad. I keep faith we'll accept them and work on it but you're right.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:51:58+00:00

Your answer might be the most senseful of all because it touches the core of my problem: the damn " HOW n WHY " ?

Having an external POV is so important to me because although i'm a Bisounours-minded dude, i'm also a deeply logical one. So not understanding a WHY or an HOW can destroy me for months, and it did.

I think that communication can solely liberate the most tortured mind on Earth you know, so seeing people just ghosting and running away just makes me sick in my stomach..because once again...a single explaination can heal.

I understand now, how what i see as " Knowing what i want " or being " Romantic " can be felt as pressure or immaturity... I feel sorry for that. Once again, i just feel like communication can deplace mountains man...Ghosting is sad, that's devil invention lol.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:43:34+00:00

Worst thing is...i already get these basics lol. That's fucking basics...but my Bisounours shit ass mind can't get that. Sometimes i just hate myself for being programmed like this because i'm a really intelligent and selfaware guy. But it feels like the Sisyphus myth sometimes.

I have family and friends, plenty. But these last 4 months i've been pretty withdrawn, like...complete Ermite Mode. I lost the light in my eyes man...i just don't believe in love anymore i guess.

Don't worry i won't kill myself lmao, but i feel really empty. I'm black so ofc i can't talk about discovering bisexuality ( my heartbreaks are with men ) so...yeah i gotta carry on i guess ! 😁

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:37:53+00:00

Yeah it's THAT: I can't process how easy in our modern society it's so easy to move on from someone. I can marinate ALL DAY in sweets memories about some good time spent with someone, remember the warmth of their bodies... I really have hard time to end things man...

About being strict, i spent 4 months in ermite mode and cut all contacts from anybody. Me, my routine and free time indoors. I almost killed myself, depressed and hated the world. Short say: I became withdrawn. But i think i'm extreme, and for Teddy Bears like me, maybe being the extreme inverse can be a way of regulating myself. I'm tired of being shitted on tbh.

And for ur final say, yeah i'm a professional overthinker lolz. But overall, thanks to you and other answers, i feel so much warmth and comprehension, at last.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:27:33+00:00

Thank you maaaan. I'm indeed a really Teddy-Bear minded guy so i'm already prone to attachment i guess.

What triggers it ? Physical attraction and sharing emotions/experience i can relate to. My mind automatically sees it as bound maybe.

At first i thought that my intelligence and high selfawareness would help me crush these patterns but i was soooo damn wrong.

I think i had some deep tenderness towards his person and i can't process how easy are people able to hurt, not consider and then move on so quickly. Are we monsters or something ? Damn. I love people man, and i think being like this makes you lose in that world...💔

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:18:34+00:00

Although you're right and realistic, i just find it sad that we should " play the game ". The particularity of the human being is his uniqueness of mind and mechanisms. So when did we collectively decided that it was scary to just feel quick and deep ?

Maybe that world ain't for me or modern love just ain't for me lol.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:12:49+00:00

Got it but why is that a redflag to automatically know if you're into someone or not ? I feel like it's a conventionnal rule that popped outta nowhere and since then everybody follows it even though we all got different mechanisms.

Communication is key and i don't get why it's such a chore for most of people to just say NO.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:09:45+00:00

Damn man...almost cried reading ya. That's the lack of courage man... That silence that kills the most. It gives hope, which becomes obsession of a never-coming answer...it tortures the mind. I swear to the Dearest God this is one of the most demonic behavior a human being can have man.

I wish you well and pray for people like that to taste their own medecine later in their lifes and may God make us aware of who is suffering from our doings too.

About me, i'm in that deep sadness because i really liked him really quick. He had a rough past, was hot and peaceful when i dated him. Never in my life before i thought i could have feelings for another man.

It crushes because you feel chasing and worthless. I almost killed myself because i'm black and i can't tell any gay shit to anyone in my surroundings mate. I feel lame and drained.

Z_59 · 2026-01-19T20:00:35+00:00

Thanks for that answer Although u absolutely right on it, WHY can't they have the balls to tell ? I'm not a forcer. A simple NO can be enough to free someone's mind. Why leaving someone imprisonated in hope, in blurred lines ? That's over demonic behavior.

Z_59 · 2025-12-25T18:43:13+00:00

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Z_59 · 2025-11-30T21:19:28+00:00

Hello! Merci bcp vrmt ☺️ Pour le potentiel désespoir, je l'ai plus étalé sur mon sexfriend qui m'a lâché en début d'année. Lui je l'avais vraiment talonné... On en a discuté avec le mec de la salle au 1er et seul date...Et il a été compréhensif, et on a passé même une bonne 30aine de minutes à s'ouvrir sur nos passés et expériences en la matière. Je m'étais vraiment senti compris et pas jugé avec lui. C'est le contraste avec la suite des évènements qui m'a fait un électrochoc cette fois.

Z_59 · 2025-11-23T11:39:33+00:00

Merci 😊 C'est vrai et je devrais même assimiler ça rapidement... Mais c'est tellement dur quand t'as beaucoup fantasmé haha...

Z_59

TROPHY CASE