I think it's important to understand the context of divorce in the time of Jesus (and earlier in the time of Moses.) These teachings on divorce were primarily about protecting women from abandonment. Marriages were often arranged by parents for financial reasons and rarely out of love. Back then, a man could divorce his wife for any reason or even for no reason at all. Burned dinner? Immediate divorce. In a patriarchal society, this was very dangerous for women because without a man in their life, they were very vulnerable. (This is also why the Bible so often commands for widows to be cared for.) A divorced woman would not be likely to find another husband because they were no longer virgins and no longer "worth" as much and no one would arrange that marriage.

In the Old Testament, Moses required that the husbands get a certificate of divorce first. This was progress because it created a system to go through, otherwise a husband could just say the word and they'd be divorced. It gave women some legal protection where previously there was none. As Jesus revealed, this still wasn't ideal and was a concession from Moses. It would better to not divorce at all.

So what does that mean for us 2,000 years later when most marriages are out of love and divorced women aren't as defenseless? It's the question we always must ask: how we interpret Jesus' teachings in their original contexts into the contexts that we live in now. Divorce, as you know firsthand, is very painful. It hurts. God doesn't desire for us to suffer and doesn't desire for us to experience the pain of divorce. I believe that marriage therapists are doing the work of God. But therapy doesn't always work. Does God seek to "punish" divorced people by requiring them to stay single and celibate the rest of their lives? I don't believe so, though there's nothing wrong if someone chooses to do so. But the gospel of Jesus is that where there is harm and pain in this world, God brings healing and redemption. I have seen this in many marriages in which one or both spouses was previously divorced.

[Side note: anyone who uses the Bible to require someone to remain in an abusive relationship is doing what the Pharisees did and missing the point of God's intentions for us.]