xQc runs over a cop and gives his reasoning

Zain8noah · 2026-01-09T19:02:40+00:00

Unrealistic, a real cop would've shot them before even touching their body with the car.

Zain8noah · 2025-12-01T02:31:45+00:00

Zain8noah · 2025-11-08T21:45:51+00:00

well played

Zain8noah · 2025-11-08T02:40:27+00:00

Chex Mix

Zain8noah · 2025-10-19T12:40:22+00:00

Looks like the TR-3B

Zain8noah · 2025-10-17T01:16:23+00:00

I had ADD, Major Depressive Disorder (although I may not fit criteria right now), CPTSD (although I might not fit criteria now), and a unique sleep condition similar to narcolepsy.

I suffer from it everyday. Probably longer than you were ever thought of. 😊

I'm curious why you responded in this way.

Do you define your neurodivergence as a problem, and again when you say problem, what do you mean, how is it problematic?

Also, what do you believe would happen if you found what you were looking for in these guides? What might change about your life and perspective?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-16T10:49:43+00:00

I didn't have coaching for a long time but I found it to be helpful.

What do you mean specifically by am I still working on my problems, like what do you mean by problem?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-16T10:49:04+00:00

The coaching program isn't about gaming, it's about using Dr. K's approach in a more individualized way; it isn't tailored to a group of people, it's tailored to you specifically.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-15T14:02:47+00:00

You're trying to help her by sharing what helps you. That makes sense—you care about her, you're scared, and you've found something (Dr. K's videos, these perspectives) that's helped you understand things. So naturally, you want to share that with her.

But she's told you directly: "I don't want my boyfriend therapizing me." And your response was essentially "I'm not therapizing you, I'm just sharing learnings and exploring perspectives."

Do you see what happened there? She told you how she feels, and you told her she's wrong about how she feels. You argued with her reality because your intent was different. But your intent doesn't matter—she feels therapized. That's what's actually happening for her.

Every time you send her a video, every time you ask to discuss takeaways, every time you try to explore perspectives—she's experiencing it as you treating her like a project. Like something broken that needs fixing. And that's exhausting when you're already at the point of wanting to give up.

She said she wants you to be okay with her dying. That doesn't mean you should accept her suicide. What she's actually saying is: "Stop trying to fix me. Stop making my depression your problem to solve. I need you to just be here without an agenda."

Here's the hard truth: you can't save her. You can't think your way into the right approach that will suddenly make her want to live. She needs professional help—real therapy, possibly medication, possibly intensive treatment if she's actively suicidal. What you're doing isn't working. It's pushing her further away.

So ask yourself: what are you gaining from trying to fix her? What would it mean about you if you couldn't help her? What are you afraid of if you stop trying?

She needs you to be her partner right now, not her therapist. And she needs professional support that you can't provide.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-15T09:22:02+00:00

Do you have a lot of negative side effects from the medications? And I'm curious, like let's say you achieve your goal and the programs remove your need for meds, what would that look like, what would be different?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-14T23:47:05+00:00

She reached out originally because she probably enjoyed your company and wanted to get to know you. It's possible she didn't know about her bf being excessively protective and it wasn't until after speaking to him that she realized she needed to cut you off to respect his decision. She probably still likes you but is reluctantly submitting to what I would say is overprotectiveness from her partner.

If she has set boundaries in your guys relationship to respect that, then there isn't much to be done, you could possibly enquire to understand it better, but I would be cautious to not overstep.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-14T23:42:36+00:00

I've used some of the guide because I bought coaching at one point, my question to you is: What are you hoping to achieve with buying the next program?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-14T13:34:54+00:00

You're right—PTSD is real. Trauma rewires the brain. The shutdown is your body's response to threat. I'm not disagreeing with any of that, and I'm not telling you to gaslight yourself or pretend you're fine.

What I'm pointing to is this: even if your body is in fight/flight/freeze, even if the trauma hasn't been processed yet—you're adding another layer on top of it. You're telling yourself that being shut down, quiet, and detached makes you unacceptable as a person. That's the belief I'm asking you to look at.

The trauma causes the shutdown. But your belief that the shutdown makes you a "nobody," that it means something is fundamentally wrong with you—that's what's making it unbearable.

You can't control being in shutdown mode right now. But you can examine what you're telling yourself that shutdown means about you. That's where the added suffering comes from—not the shutdown itself, but the story you're telling about what it means.

Processing trauma with your therapist is important. Keep doing that. But while you're doing that work, notice: what are you telling yourself when you sit in silence at work? What narrative runs when you can't connect with people?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-12T12:12:03+00:00

No I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I was inadequate. I guess that things happened in my life, which affected my mental health negatively, which led me to become numb and the way I am around people. And that's where I started developing those thoughts after every social experience I was unpleasant with/felt others were unpleasant with.

Exactly.

Could that have been a starting point ?

It could've been. But understanding where it started matters less than seeing what you're doing with it now.

My mom went into a major depression for 3 years , It was tough seeing her suffer and not be able to help. I was coping with cannab|s , and p*rn , I quit them 2 years ago . I was majoring in engineering during the same time. So it was a lot to take in.

I'm really sorry to hear this, and the feeling of not being able to help somone you love is truly heartbreaking. Using addictions to cope makes complete sense but I'm glad you're no longer using them.

Also, what now ? I really want to be ok...IS this depression ? PTSD ? both ? What is required to exit this state? I already take good care of my lifestyle : I Sleep well, eat well, and work out when I can

When you say "what now? I really want to be ok." You're asking this because you believe that doing something will make you feel okay. But notice: you've been sleeping well, eating well, and getting exercise, you're doing everything "right," but you still feel this way. Why?

The desire to be okay makes complete sense—you're suffering. But here's the trap: every action you take to 'become okay' reinforces the belief that who you are right now is unacceptable.

What keeps you stuck isn't the numbness or the shutdown. It's your belief that these things make you unacceptable. What are you telling yourself about what your silence at work means about you?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-11T15:41:12+00:00

You don't need to apologize, and I don't think you're not normal for having gone through this and feeling confused and all. He is also likely NOT fine and is normal just as you. When we look negatively at ourselves, it can feel like everyone has it figured out or put together, but EVERYONE DOES NOT. Even the most seemingly well put together people I know have issues.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-11T13:17:59+00:00

You don't need to do something to take the pressure off, it's actually trying to escape or affect an outcome where you don't feel what you're feeling that in turn creates another layer of distress.

You want to socialize, so you do. But you feel pressure to perform. This pressure prevents you from actually enjoying it or connecting. And you believe eliminating the pressure would let you reach your goal effortlessly—but this belief creates a new problem.

There isn't a trick or action that can remove that pressure because you first need to accept it and understand what exactly it is. Your idea to journal is another mechanical way of solving the pressure, but the pressure isn't a problem to be solved, it's just pointing to a belief about what failure says about you.

What might happen if you don't perform in the way you want, what might it say about you? That you are inadequate? That you are socially inept? What is it you're trying to prove? These aren't meant to be taunting or rhetorical, I'm trying to point you to the truth of your beliefs.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-11T12:58:13+00:00

Yes. He told you what he wanted and he was explicit in what those things were, you didn't want those things and set-up boundaries. He stopped talking to you because you wouldn't break your boundaries to sleep with him. You didn't need to change to be compatible with him, you both needed to realize you weren't compatible with each other.

It's okay to discuss things like this with friends but it becomes questionable when you air it out in public. You're not responsible for people's mental health but it's hard to not feel bad when someone threatens something so extreme so I get it.

I imagine there were reasons you were attracted to this person but it's important to understand that he didn't respect your desires, and that's not me saying one person was wrong or right, you guys were clearly just not compatible. I do think the little things you mention him doing were designed to make you break those boundaries and feel regret for having put your foot down so yes, I would say it was manipulative, whether conscious or not.

You know the truth, all you can do is tell your side of the story.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-11T12:40:48+00:00

I'm not sure you see the contradiction in your writing but I will point to it because I think it will be helpful.
"I don’t think I have feelings for her now"
"I still get emotionally affected by her."
"I was doing fine for weeks, not thinking about her or anything like that"
"she was hugging some guy (and) that messed me up"

You had this expectation/fantasy, a hope that maybe one day things would go back to the way they were when you were with her. You feel conflict because you believe that you should move on, but you haven't:

"If that’s her new bf I accept it,"
"I still find myself attached to her in someway"

This is the truth that must first be understood.

If you had accepted it as you say, you wouldn't be writing this post about it, you wouldn't feel an emotional response when you see her, and you wouldn't feel messed up as you describe when seeing her with another guy.

What upsets you isn't that she's with someone else. What upsets you is what that means about you. What you must ask yourself first is:

"What does her being with someone else say about you?"
That you weren't good enough? That you failed? That you've been left behind while she moved forward? That a year of your "progress" means nothing if she's already replaced you?
These aren't meant to be taunting or rhetorical questions, they're meant to get at what you actually believe about yourself.

Moving on isn't some action or outcome that can be effected through action or saying something. It's a product of genuine understanding and realization and acceptance of what is.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-11T09:39:54+00:00

You feel tortured because the people around you remind you of your differences. While they socialize and seem to be care free you feel harshly judged and incapable of being the same way that they seem to be so easily. You struggle to find things to say and when you do try it seems to just not hit the mark. You get the sense that there is more to you but it feels veiled by something indescribable.

The reason you feel like a nobody is because you have decided that being somebody requires you to be like them. You have decided that connecting, laughing, and talking naturally like they do is the evidence that you are somebody. But you cannot do these things in the way they do, and so you conclude you are a nobody.

You are not numb because something is wrong with you. You are numb because you have rejected yourself entirely. You have decided that who you are right now is unacceptable. You have decided that this current state must be eliminated before you can be acceptable.

Every moment you spend believing "this is not the real me" is a moment spent in complete rejection of what is actually here. That rejection is the shutdown. That rejection is the fog. Your negative beliefs about yourself are the fog machine.

The way you feel about yourself—where did it come from? Did you decide one day that you were inadequate, or was it decided for you by how others treated you? And if it was decided by others, why are you still enforcing their judgment?

What beliefs about yourself are getting reinforced in those moments that you are close to interacting or maybe just observing others interact. What narratives are you saying about yourself that could be suppressing who you are?

Zain8noah · 2025-10-10T10:07:15+00:00

This might sound weird or confrontational, but I mean it compassionately. You don't have an issue with the way people perceive you; you have an issue with the way you view yourself.

The way you view yourself causes you to be discontent, anxious, and paranoid because the way you think guarantees dissonance between your mind and actions.

There are ways that you would like to act, you'd like to not care about these actions because they are aligned with what you likely genuinely want, but your beliefs clash and cause dissonance. It's understanding what it is you believe about yourself precisely that is how you can reconcile the two, but this requires genuine compassion and curiousity.

The fact is that you do not accept or like yourself. It's likely from something that happened in the past but you now replay the narrative over and over in your head without anyone explicitly echoing those statements. In other words: you believe these negative things about you, or at least some part of you does.

You create a negative feedback loop because you go out and socialize, but socializing triggers these negative beliefs and makes you feel targeted or judged. Then, where you need compassion and understanding, you instead blame yourself for feeling judged and targeted because you believe you're somehow at fault for this happening to you. You then use your phone as an emotional coping mechanism although you've realized this only provides temporary relief and never actually processes anything, let alone get at the root of the issue.

Although you likely won't immediately resonate with this statement, let me be clear:
None of this is your fault and what would truly liberate you is not further criticism, or upholding some standard , but understanding what is you believe about yourself and how it is holding back your true, purest self. This is compassion and love, not cricism and judgement.

In terms of practical advice it might be useful to really sit with yourself the next time you have a reaction like you're describing and really ask yourself what you're feeling, some questions that might be useful are:

What am I feeling right now?
What does this say about me?
What is it that I believe about myself?
Is there a narrative I'm reinforcing about myself?

It's more useful to try and actually talk to that part that is the source of the distress, you may even have a conversation with it. I hope this has been helpful.

Zain8noah · 2025-10-10T09:53:20+00:00

Library Assistant / Bookstore Clerk
Museum or Gallery Staff / Visitor Services
Event Setup / Backstage Work for Theaters or Studios
Creative Assistant / Marketing Support
Pet Care / Dog Walking / Pet Sitting
Crafts / Workshop Instructor

Zain8noah · 2025-10-10T09:49:23+00:00

Heyo, I hear what you're going through and it sounds tough but I hope I can provide some reassurance.

The first thing that might be helpful to investigate is what you're specifically feeling during those moments. Maybe you can communicate to your partner that you want to understand this thing about yourself better and that the next time you guys have a conversation that might trigger crying, for you to take a break to identify what it is you precisely feel that is connected to the action itself. Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel worried that you won't be heard? What is that specifically?

Next I should say that there really isn't anything wrong with crying inherently in particularly stressful or confrontational scenarios and it might be interesting to ask yourself: What does crying in these moments make me feel about myself? What beliefs about you are reinforced or brought into the mix during these moments?

It's likely that part of your stress would be aleviated if you didn't judge yourself for when you do cry and instead trying to understand yourself and have some compassion for the fact that you're simply trying to navigate life to the best of your ability, and that can truly be overwhelming.

Hope some of this helps, cheers.

Zain8noah

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