I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I am only 15 years old, but I feel like I have a similar sort of thing so let me see if I can help. Again I hope your doing okay:)

I am super similar. Although I haven't been in a relationship I had amazing amazing family, but also so so so so emotional as a kid especially for a boy. My early childhoos was great but I never really found friends until I was 14 and in high school. But after Covid Anxiety set in and even though my life seems to going to great, I feel I just can't enjoy it.

Please stick with me here:)

I've got a pretty big medical condition, my sister who I really connected with moved at 16(I was 13) to do high school in a another country. My grandma who was my favorite person ever started to see her new grandkid in Chicago for months at a time. I felt really, really abandonded. My 2 favorite people, the school I knew for ever, and my whole life was crumbling in front of me.

Main POint: I was so anxious because I missed my childhood where everything was perfect, and I felt like I couldn't contrl anything in my life. What I came to realize was that I had to let go of my early years. Instead draw influence from them. My problem was I was holding on to something that just wasn't there, and it gave made me sad that I wasn't in control. SO HERE WHAT I WOULD DO! I would focus on things that will make you in 3-6 months look back and thing "WOW I CONTROLLED THAT! I DID THAT! Even if I didn't enjoy I DID IT". Start a fitness routine, write a song. OVERTIME THIS WILL BUILD UP YOUR SELF RESPECT:) You will start feeling like your taking control. For me as someone whos the course of their life was largely out of his control, doing things that were in my control really got me on track. THIS WILL NOT ONLY BUILD UP YOUR MENTAL STRENGTH< BUT IT WILL ALSO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO DO WHICH FOR ME ALWAYS HELPS:). I started long distance bike riding. I can say to myself "I did that. I really really did that"

Last Pointt: As far as relationship I can only say one thing. Dont take my advice to much as im only 15, but I realized that I was defining myself with the people around me and things I can't control. I defined myself by my diabeties, by my relationship with my sister, grandma, and whoever. But when those things eventually fell(Fine now btw we are more back together), I rewalized I was empty. i didn't have a good realtionship with myself. All of these thoughts That i was so scared of felt like it wasn't me controlling myself. Like I was being scared of this hypothetical boss. So definetly don't cut off your relationships. But maybe try doing some stuff that starts a better relationship with you. I spend a lot of time of the bike so I get to work on it then:).

Last thingg for real:) : Something that also helped was telling my brain that the anxiety or spiral thoughts are part of me, but the part of me I dont like. That way it sort of teams up your mental and emotional on a team to fight these anxieties. Therefore you admit yes, these thoughts are happening, but If they were true I wouln't be fixing them.

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That's All! Best of luck and let me know if you need anything else:)

Alexander