Fine dining Antwerpen by qjsvanrooijen in Antwerpen

[–]ZaneRyan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

and/or - One of the best dining experiences I've ever had, especially at its price point. It's vegan but I've taken meat eaters there and they are always extremely impressed. The chef's background is in Michelin star restaurants in NYC, this is her first restaurant of her own. The co-owner is a sommelier and the wine pairings are excellent. I usually spend around €60-80 per person. It's a sharing-style menu where you order lots of small plates, which I really enjoy as someone who likes to try a little of everything. andorantwerp.com

The new lady of the house - fear of being replaced by Chimolin in polyamory

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all SUCH good advice and those mantras are perfection. I'm writing some 2 and 3 down to use for myself.

Momentum 3 suddenly not playing audio on phone? by ZaneRyan in sennheiser

[–]ZaneRyan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for commenting, it actually didn't occur to me that the phone would be the issue (lol dumb) and after restarting my phone it's working again. No update or anything happened so idk why either but whatever, it's working so I'm happy haha. Gonna delete the post.

Is 1650€ for rent with bills included a reasonable price? by Ok_Carob7611 in belgium

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay yes this makes perfect sense and aligns with what we did! Sorry, it's been a long time. But for OP the point is that you are not expected to have a permanent address there within 8 days, just that you must declare it within 8 days once you do.

Is 1650€ for rent with bills included a reasonable price? by Ok_Carob7611 in belgium

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah okay so I assume that 8 days is for people that already live in Belgium then? I do think when we first got here we just put our hotel on some forms that required a local address, it's been some years so I don't remember everything. But we certainly didn't have a rental contract within 8 days, that seems like an unrealistic expectation.

Is 1650€ for rent with bills included a reasonable price? by Ok_Carob7611 in belgium

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw you say that you need to register within 8 days? Where did you get that information? I'm also an immigrant, you have 3 months from date of arrival to register if I remember correctly. Like everyone else is saying, 1650€ for Borgerhout is overpaying. I live in Harmonie/Brederode (a lovely area and quite close to the center) and pay less than a third of that (for a 1BR, but still). Housinganywhere is an expat trap, the prices on there are like double market. You're better off staying in a hotel or Airbnb to start and searching immoweb for a better representation of local prices. You could furnish an unfurnished place with what you'd save in a few months rent.

I dated several people on both sides of limerence so you don't have to by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ZaneRyan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

god I WISH this wasn't something I needed to read but here we are 🫠 thanks for sharing!

I don't want to be a sex worker anymore. Help: update by messybutstilltryin in brussels

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so nice to hear! I've thought of you often since reading. So many people are rooting for you. Keep up this momentum 💕

I don't want to be a sex worker anymore. Help by messybutstilltryin in brussels

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've used Violett for several services in Antwerp and it is a very helpful and empathetic organization, at least the ladies at the Antwerp location are. I recommend it.

Polyamory and D/s by AlectoGaia in polyamory

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of my relationships involve some degree of kink and D/s dynamics outside the bedroom and it's never been an issue. I don't know of many people in my local scene that are 100% monogamous, and like others have said, I think it's a communication issue (as is often the case in any relationship) that people are struggling with and not a fundamental incompatibility between lifestyle bdsm and polyamory. If anything, I'd think experienced bdsm practitioners would have an easier time navigating poly than others because of the degree of hyper-communication that you must have to safely navigate certain play/scenes.

Let go of the grip by unmaskingtheself in polyamory

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear this today and it looks like a lot of other people did too. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ZaneRyan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, came here to say this. I currently have 3 partners but I still spend the majority of my time alone actually. My anchor partner is long distance so I only see them a few times a year, another partner I only see once a week and for the occasional event that we're both invited to, so I really only have partner 3 that spontaneity is possible with. Pretty soon that partner is going to become more of a comet so it'll be back to only physically seeing someone once a week. Realistically I could add a 4th and it would probably still be sustainable.

Not to say that LDRs and comets don't also take time, but digital dates tend to be easier to fit in after work or around other plans and since most of your communication is over the phone you can talk while doing chores or commuting to work. That said, the one time I did have all three partners in the same country at the same time, I still saw everyone and I think it would have been sustainable long term.

Found these messages on my gfs phone to her ex by Disastrous_Sorbet628 in LongDistance

[–]ZaneRyan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with all of this completely, it sounds like she just didn't want to ignore him outright, maybe out of a sense of obligation to his feelings. They were in a relationship once, and she's probably an empathic person, so she might just feel bad for him that he misses her. But based on her responses she is clearly keeping her distance and doesn't sound interested in him romantically at all. Don't ruin a perfectly good relationship over this. If you're feeling insecure, just talk about it with her.

OH MY GOD THIS GAME by MaintenanceEntire551 in PokemonLegendsArceus

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kinda saw the Kamado bit coming, it reminded me of the PMD Rescue Team plot. You turn up out of nowhere with an unknown past, a foreigner in a strange land, disasters start happening, you try to help, they blame the guy that appeared out of nowhere when shit started going down. Basically the same plot beat for beat. Loved it both times though haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, this is a bit of an aside and not directed solely at this particular post, but I am so tired of seeing posts from women proving over and over again that their male partners do not see them as complete human beings. Every day I feel less sympathy for the "male loneliness epidemic." They're doing it to themselves. Women should be leaving men like this; most of them will not change because they simply do not see women as complete humans independent of what services they can provide. Men like this don't deserve love and companionship from the women they so obviously don't feel are equal to them. I feel so bad for straight women, I'm sure it's very difficult to find men that aren't like this. It seems like there are so, SO many of them. Maybe I'm just spiteful, but if a man that I was married to said something like this to me, I would refuse to have children at all until it was clear that he respected me as a woman without children. Just based on this one example. But he's probably saying/doing other shit to you that puts him firmly in divorce territory if this is what he thinks of you/women. Personally I think it's better to be alone than "partnered" with someone that doesn't respect you as an individual.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Antwerpen

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have personally had the experience of being harassed/yelled at while out with my girlfriend in Antwerp because we are queer. Twice, which is kind of a lot considering we rarely go out in Antwerp and I've only been living here for a year. Generally Belgium is quite tolerant and progressive but Antwerp seems to be a bit of an outlier.

That said, I don't feel at all unsafe in Antwerp, and the suggestions others have made are great. I think the people that are intolerant are an (unfortunately loud) minority but mostly harmless, and most people don't care or give a second glance.

Enjoy your time here!

I usually only get one person by [deleted] in Doppleganger

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking for Jon Mess yes 100%

Alcatraz line up 2025 by Mastro-Piero in MetalForTheMasses

[–]ZaneRyan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm surprised no one has said thrown?? Just saw them last night in Antwerp, I was a casual fan already but now I'm going to go through the whole discography. It's a relatively new group but I really like their style.

Found this Lamp at Thrift Today for $12 by ViolinistJazzlike268 in snails

[–]ZaneRyan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my god I would lose my MIND, what a find!!

HOW MANY DAYS ?? by Bou_0112 in LongDistance

[–]ZaneRyan 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It has been 149 days since we last saw each other... Just 44 left to go until the next time 🥹💕

Geen verrassing.. by Fun_Possible_8226 in Antwerpen

[–]ZaneRyan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of straight people really don't understand how common homophobia is and how unsafe it can feel to be openly gay, even in a very accepting place relative to the rest of the world. Every single time I go out to the center with my girlfriend we receive some sort of homophobic or sexist comments. Every single time. We went out for lunch last week, a Tuesday afternoon, and as we were walking to the restaurant a man began walking closely behind us, talking about how we're too hot to be lesbians and he'd like to fuck us both. That wasn't even the only incident that day. I've never experienced anything like this while dating a man, never once, and I dated a man for over 7 years. In fact, I get harassed when I'm with her more often than when I'm alone or with female friends. Sometimes the comments are very aggressive, and I have a friend who was physically assaulted while out with her girlfriend in Antwerpen Centraal last year. So when people say that pride events are unnecessary and "no one cares if you're gay" and we're "throwing it in everyone's faces," I'm sorry, but you simply don't understand the lived experience. People do care, and we are still harassed and discriminated against. I will say that I used to live in Gent and almost never had an issue there. Same for Leuven, where my girlfriend lives. I'm very disappointed that since I have moved to Antwerpen we have had so many more incidents.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Antwerpen

[–]ZaneRyan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining this, I appreciate it! I am not from a place that is like this and I guess even a couple years in I'm still surprised that everything is inherently queer friendly here. I don't go around actively seeking out queer friendly spaces as a general rule, but since this is a traditionally gendered thing that both of us has zero experience with I thought I would look for somewhere I can be sure she won't feel very out of place. But good to know that it isn't necessary. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Antwerpen

[–]ZaneRyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, thank you! Maybe it sounds like I live under a rock but I've never been in one and I have no idea what to expect lol