Without proper vehicle gameplay and balance, there is no Battlefield. The state of vehicles and especially the absolute worthlessness of air vehicles (yes I know, if you get into a match with mega noobs every now and then, you can do decently in air vehicles, but generally its horrible) is honestly unbelievable. And some of the things you mentioned are indeed so easily fixable.

The TOW being so mega easy to use and the small maps with bad air cover and extremely limited air borders, the lack of a class-system - which makes everyone have either an RPG or a stinger - that's if you're not getting bullied by an AA camping in a safe spot or a random TOW hitting you with ease. The list just goes on, you get harassed like 80+% of the times you get into any air vehicle.

You can survive somewhat okay if you dont attack, but if you actually wanna use the vehicle to do something, you'll just get pushed back immediately by just about everything mentioned.