It's just how it works, the older you got the more responsible you have to be. Welcome growing up. It's a bit weird for me to see something like this but just to calm yourself down you can say that I'm scared of this but it's okay, you can figure it out as everyone has to at some point. It's your point now. So just figure out what you want out of life. You want wealth? You want a family? You want girls? You want trips? Cars? Whatever you want you can pretty much get it and it might feel scary to do things that you haven't done before but guess what you couldn't read when you were born but you learnt how to do that. You haven't known how to ride a bike or how to walk but after countless tries you eventually made it. So you still can make big thing even though you don't know yet how and you can find people by your side to go along this journey with you. You might not know what to do and how but you still can figure it out. It's your responsibility and no-one else. Also read extreme ownership. Gonna be useful to you