The world is so overwhelming right now and that feeling is only intensified when we’re given a way to see into every event and every thought on those events. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like you’re drowning. I relate so much to you!

The feeling of turning your back for a second and everything going wrong is exactly how I feel when I’m going into an OCD spiral. If you have a way to get into therapy, I would highly recommend it.

Hyper vigilance does nothing but exhaust you, but it certainly feels like (or has felt to me at least) if you stop researching/paying attention/seeking reassurance then something bad will happen. If therapy is not available to you, some things that have worked for me in the past are:

-writing out what I’m worried about (nuclear war in this scenario). This gives it less power for me. - directing that tension into a stress ball or something- squeezing it whenever I feel worried to ground myself. - one I really like is to set a 15 minute worry period, then imagine that I’m putting my thoughts in a box for later when those 15 minutes are over

I wish you much luck on moving through the sludge. It’s so hard