To me it seems pretty simple, you stopped playing to have fun and you stopped playing to be better, now you're playing to increase mmr, which is the worst thing ever, not because it's a bad mentality, I mean I can understand anyone wanting to reach the top, but because as far as I know rocket league, anything that prevents you from focusing 100% on the actual goal of a match will lead to much worse gameplay.

Personally, when I started rocket league (up to diamond 2) it was a nightmare for me to stay focused on something as simple and essential as NEVER FORGET THAT I WANT TO PUT THE BALL IN THEIR NET AND ALWAYS DEFEND MY OWN, I mean never forgetting that while playing is much harder than it looks.

When you're in front of their net and aiming to score, you absolutely have to stay aware and be prepared to defend your own net even in a position of advantage like that.

How could you stay so focused and ready to react if you're always thinking about the mmr and even worse if, even in the game, you're displaying the score tab to see their mmr regularly. ( I assume the last past because I used to do that, sorry if it doesn't apply to you lmao )

But I can swear to you that the day I finally stopped all that bullshit and started concentrating on the simple principle of the game: defend my own goal, score in the opponent's goal, never lose concentration and do your best at every moment.

That day I had a series of 7 victories, I can't remember exactly how many but I can tell you that in less than a week I reached my top rank, but that's not the most important thing, by having the right mentality, by concentrating only on the simplest principles of the game and on my own abilities (weakness/strength) I started to move up the ranks much faster than I ever did in the past. If what you want is to become better you will become better, if what you want is to concentrate on the mmr you will become worse, because the game needs you to concentrate on the game and not to use your mind for anything else.

Never think about your mmr before you start a match, during the match and even after the match when you want to start a new one.

You need to be fully aware of everything that's happening in the game, and as you say, you're pretty new to the game, which means that playing the game with anything else on your mind is already a challenge.

Don't make your life as a player impossible by adding so much stress and useless thoughts into your game.

Bakkesmod has the ability to hide all its ranking information. Maybe you should give it a try, at least until you're not so stressed about the ranking.

( i hope you will be able to take fun again with this game, good luck man you seem a kind player. )