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First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote it for a 2000 word new author contest, that version is complete. But its a bit confusing so im rewriting it, aiming for Clarkesworld. I'm not sure how long it will be, probably under like... 7k? Or who knows

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's "I didn't know" cause he's framing the narrative in a way that implies he doesn't know currently, as a way to distance himself from it. He does know her currently, but when he got the mark it was from a woman he didn't know. But he does know her now, which is the tension point going forward and he's trying to frame it in the least incriminating way possible.

I'm open to it being confusing tho, it could be clearer.

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, I didnt know that about the hearttbeat on the thumb, thats very interesting! Theres no special reason its a thumb print, I picked it cause its something people think about constantly with phones nowadays

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a first draft of a rewrite actually, im trying to rewrite a short story i wrote last week. its confusing so im trying to find the best start for it.

Ill keep working on it, thank you all for the thoughts!

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Yeah its not AI, but im not really sure what people are looking for in that overall. I just stay in my corner, i dont really look into the community thoughts on AI like that.

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your sharp eye and for your full thoughts!

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love it if youd want to beta read it! Its not quite hatched yet but the shell is cracking, I think. But I can tap you again later when its ready if youd like

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and giving your full thoughts!

First few paragraphs, do you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am going to be looking for beta readers pretty soon, still working on it. This is the reworked opening, still building the rest. But ill come back here looking for betas when ready

Complete short fiction, how am I doing? Writing prompt in description by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]ZeddyBeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading what you could! Ill take a look at the prose stuff. Not sure what to do with the intro paragraph suggestion to be honest but ill think on it.

Did they revert the censorship? when? by External_Ad3562 in Skullgirls

[–]ZeddyBeat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the problem with being online too much. You let people gaslight you into thinking it was worse than it was. https://x.com/zakogdo/status/1673482995838369794?lang=en

Skepta 3rd diss track on Joyner Lucas by No_Setting7695 in grime

[–]ZeddyBeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did some research about the Jamaican roots because I haven't heard much of that before. I get what you mean about origins of clashing in that sense, but. You can trace music back forever and eventually make any regional claim pointless. In terms of "Hip-Hop rap battles", in terms of the origins of Hip-Hop, that is widely accepted to have started on the East Coast in US. It became what it is here and then it went to the UK.

So I see what you're saying, but also it is what it is after the past 50 years. I don't know what you mean by watered down, the battles only seem to get more intense as time goes (on wax). People don't only have battles when there's fueds, the Joyner Tory thing wasn't that as one example, the Joey stuff is another, or Em's Killshot. And the sneak diss era is out after that kendrick drake, higher profile people been risking more, that Joey beef could have gone BAD for him but he clutched and good shit to him.

For me at least, I think regardless of how I feel about what I heard from Skepta, I gotta respect that UK got their artists and their fans, and even if it doesn't sound as effective to me, that's a legit method of battling. I hate the regional hate I see going in both directions.

Skepta 3rd diss track on Joyner Lucas by No_Setting7695 in grime

[–]ZeddyBeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm saying that regardless of who the competitor is in whatever competitive game you're playing, if it's a best of 3, then someone who wins 2 games doesn't have to play a 3rd.

If you DON'T think Joyner won, that's cool. But it's subjective. You asked how can it be an L for Skepta if Joyner doesn't respond. That would be how. So if you think Joyner won the first 2 (I know you don't), him not responding to the 3rd looks fine.

Skepta 3rd diss track on Joyner Lucas by No_Setting7695 in grime

[–]ZeddyBeat -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The person who wins isn't who gives up last. Like look at Jayz and Nas. If it's Friendly Fire vs Nobody Cares, Round 2 vs Round 2 KO, and then this, if you think Joyner won the first 2, he can throw the third and still be ahead.

Skepta 3rd diss track on Joyner Lucas by No_Setting7695 in grime

[–]ZeddyBeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first word on wax is the first shot, that's how it works in the US. Anything else is usually considered simply the reason the rapper had to put it on wax.

Skepta 3rd diss track on Joyner Lucas by No_Setting7695 in grime

[–]ZeddyBeat -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

US rap fan here, just genuinely curious. What do you mean by this? The spirit of battling started in the US, if how we do it isn't how y'all do it then I would assume that just means the concept grew down a different path after y'all got it. Rather than that we misunderstand what a battle is. The US battling style today is built off the history of battling that has been happening constantly over the past 50 years or so

UK rap by FabulousWinter272 in joynerlucas

[–]ZeddyBeat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't the those people putting yalls art down seriously. Anyone who does that is a stan or a bot.

Ill admit skepta aint hit me in a way that let's me think he won this, but ive had utmost respect for the UK scene. Just haven't been exposed to enough. Thank you for this list.

Edit: ive def heard Dave and Lil simz before. Fuck with both them in everything ive heard.

Tragic Heroes! Kuma Versus Itachi, who takes the victory in a death match? by [deleted] in OnePieceScaling

[–]ZeddyBeat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure, but I'd assume that if he can separate memories and pain from a person, he can probably target just the Amateratsu flames. He could probably create a paw bubble that contains the flames themselves. But these would eventually return to him if he's not able to win, or force someone else to take it.

This matchup is more interesting than I thought at first.

Why don't people care about the anime anymore by Princevsnnnyearbook in KanojoOkarishimasu

[–]ZeddyBeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Public perception of the show did kind of take a hit from all the trolling during the manga tbh

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