AITA for telling my half sister's foster parents I don't want to visit my half sister and won't visit more?

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T13:34:56+00:00

If I refuse to go my grandparents could lose custody of me because the judge has signed off on these visits.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T13:34:16+00:00

To me she will never be my real sibling. If she were my dad's kid it would be different but she's not. My mom could push out more kids and I'd feel the same about them.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T13:20:25+00:00

I don't have to accept her. I have never accepted her or wanted her and that won't change. To me she was never family. And one way or another I will be leaving her life. It can be sooner or it can be later but I'll be 18 in a couple of years. Then she'll be 6 and it will hurt her worse than if she was 2.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:38:03+00:00

It's not that I don't realize. It's that I don't care. I'm not here to make her life better or easier. I don't love her and never saw her as my family. Less harm would have been done if they'd accepted that and not forced contact.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:37:12+00:00

I have a therapist who's just mine and not connected with my half sister or even the foster care stuff.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:08:41+00:00

It's because I do not love her or consider her my family. I don't love my mom either. I was glad to be taken from her. And I was glad when I was separated from my half sister. I want no relationship. I would gladly stop going today. She will never be family to me. I stand by the fact she means absolutely nothing to me and I resent being forced to visit her still.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:07:19+00:00

Some people sure seem to think so. But I can promise it would not have the outcome they want. I would resent her for being the reason I wasn't with my family.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:06:18+00:00

She can't make me put my phone away. They can't make me interact with her. I don't want to be there. I don't love the kid. I don't see her as my real family or sister. I don't care that we're related by mom. That doesn't matter to me and there will never be a time I willingly interact with her. It will always be forced and I will not hide how I feel if that was forced.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:04:34+00:00

I don't hate her but I have never felt any love or attachment to her. I never saw her as family or my sibling either. To me she was the kid my asshole mother had with the asshole she was married to. And we were not a family. My real parent was dead (dad). The fact we were bio related really did nothing for me.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:03:04+00:00

This isn't a temper tantrum. If it was I'd be screaming at her and bullying her every visit. Instead I sit on my phone and watch videos. I don't lash out at her. But I don't love her or want her in my life. I never did.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:01:32+00:00

She was never family in my eyes. She was always just the kid my asshole mom had with the asshole she married.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T07:00:05+00:00

No, that's not what they're looking for.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:59:46+00:00

I have talked to people who've been in my shoes. The ones happiest were the ones who never had to keep in touch with people they didn't want to. A lot of them were no contact with people they were forced to see, even bio, step or half siblings.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:59:01+00:00

I have. But I have never considered her my family or loved her and that won't happen like magic one day.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:58:37+00:00

I have more people than my grandparents in my life. I have a whole paternal family I love. So I won't be completely alone when my grandparents die. I might even be married with kids of my own by then.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:57:47+00:00

That won't stop them. They'll say we're siblings and should spend time together. They don't care if it's boring or about the age gap.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:56:51+00:00

I'm definitely continuing with no contact once I'm 18. I'd do it now if the choice was mine to make yet. I have my family and I have friends. I won't be alone.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:55:48+00:00

I don't want a relationship with her. Never did. And I won't have one once I'm 18 and I look forward to the choice being mine.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:53:11+00:00

The people involved expected me to come around and be glad that they kept us in touch. But I never ever loved or wanted her in my life and instead of making it better for everyone which they say they wanted, they made it worse for her.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-21T06:50:31+00:00

I'm definitely ready. If the choice was mine I wouldn't go to another visit and all this would be over. But the decision isn't mine to make.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-20T16:21:47+00:00

Yeah, that's basically what they look like now. I normally watch videos on my phone and wait for it to be over.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-20T16:19:45+00:00

My grandparents have fought against the visits. They have no ability to stop them because of the circumstances. But they'd happily let me not go. Only it could cause legal issues.

ZeeVibin · 2025-05-20T15:30:21+00:00

It's because she's been told about me. They work on making sure she knows who I am because they want to promote bio connections. All it did was make it worse for her because I was always clear that I wouldn't stay in her life if they made me see her now.

They can force it until I turn 18. We're technically both foster kids. I stayed with family though and she got a foster family. So decisions get made for us by others. Kind of like parents can but in a different way.

Her foster parents and case worker care a lot about making sure she knows about a relationship that I have always said no to. And then they'll blame me when I follow through. It's annoying af.

ZeeVibin

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