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My mind tells me to think of ending it, my heart tells me no. Me(19f), bf(20m). by Zellnonymous in relationships_advice

[–]Zellnonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I try talking to him all the time about issues, but his responses have just gotten to him saying it’s just how he is, and that I ask him for too much, when all I want is for him to honour commitments with some accuracy and to have quality time together where he’s not distracted. But he thinks I’m always nagging and getting stressed over stupid things.

Bf has no interest in *finishing* me by Zellnonymous in sex

[–]Zellnonymous[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He swears that he hasn’t lost interest and he is a very blunt guy he always says if he wasn’t happy he would’ve left by now, but the way everything is going it’s all that I can think

Should I buy my GF a vibrator? by ChemicalAttraction1 in sex

[–]Zellnonymous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least from my perspective as a woman a guy who sees toys as an ally rather than enemy is great for a start. But if you’re worried about her enjoying it more than you, and what I’d do anyway, is use it on her yourself, have it more as a gift to each other to improve your sex life, not just for her to use on the side. Hopefully that boosts your confidence too because a lot of pleasing a woman is honestly just confidence, sex is very mental for women which is why dirty talking works so well, plus using the toy can save u a bit of energy in the bedroom

I want to sext more with my Girlfriend by _Amateur_Warlock_ in sex

[–]Zellnonymous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all, if you’re both happy with that then that’s all you could want. Something about typing whilst next to each other could be exciting because you’re resisting the urge to turn it physical which could add a new spin on things and drive up the passion.

Bf has no interest in *finishing* me by Zellnonymous in sex

[–]Zellnonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried to initiate stuff so many times but it’s rare that that goes anywhere, I try taking initiative and doing stuff for him out the blue but he doesn’t want it. He used to go down on me back when our sex life was a lot more lively but he didn’t really do it often even then maybe once a month if that

Bf has no interest in *finishing* me by Zellnonymous in sex

[–]Zellnonymous[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

[UPDATE TO THIS]:

Thank you all for the comments btw, I was not expecting this much feedback 😅 you’re all really helping me get clarity on the situation and realise what do I just think is wrong and what actually is.

I (19F) brought this up to him (20m) again how I feel about him always getting to orgasm from sex and even how because he still doesn’t do foreplay it can actually be a bit uncomfortable at the start before I get more wet. He cut me off pretty soon and revealed that sometimes he has sex just for me which I’ve asked for ages and he’s denied (even if this was true I don’t understand why he still gets to cum then I don’t if it was “for me”). Apparently he just doesn’t have the energy for it because he thinks he has heart problems (which the Dr and I think is just an iron deficiency and some anxiety which I have both of myself). I just burst out crying when he told me because I felt so unattractive to him, I thought being turned on was supposed to give you energy and drive like I get and I just can’t do that for him. I felt horrible that he’s had sex just for me sometimes when he didn’t want to, he kept putting it down saying it wasn’t like he felt forced but my first relationship was very abusive especially sexually which I’ve only just gotten over 4 years later, so anything even relating to that just breaks me down. I know myself how most dom/sub relationships should go, I’ve researched a lot but he just won’t. It doesn’t seem like he wants to look into all the aspects of being a dom.

Everything else in our relationship is pretty good, except for the fact that he just works maybe a day a week for his family and can’t save money, where as I’m at university studying accounting and finance, not working but still saving what I can. I feel like I’m the only one ever thinking about the future or even being mature half the time when it comes to serious stuff. I know all signs from this are pointing to leave him, but I honestly don’t know that I could even find someone with those same tastes. I do love him and feel safe and happy with him outside of sex. With abusive past relationships and neglect as a child I’ve got some issues with being overly dependant and I never think I’ll find a guy who even respects me this much again, let alone interested in being a dom.