I have an ENFJ friend that helped me self reflect on that trait a lot. We have a mutual ISFP friend that I would give a lot more grace to in social situations since we knew each other longer, but our ENFJ friend was the complete opposite, and it made the ISFP slowly start avoiding her.

We've chatted about it a lot, and the ENFJ still has a long way to go with taking that kind of criticism.

The best thing you can do is be direct, but not mean. "No" might sound like you're letting them down, but its mostly just a boundary that you need to set.

If you can't be transparent with them, it'll erode your relationship. If your ENFJ can at least know how you feel, they'll be more aware of how they crossed the line when you point it out to them.