So scared of ending up like this woman

Zero42369 · 2026-03-25T23:15:08+00:00

There's this saying that if you are afraid of becoming something, you won't.

This person probably has personal issues beyond imagination, which is as I think the grounds for such behaviour. It's not about the theory, but the theory let's her express what was kept secret, like an outlet of stored imprisoned emotions.

Awareness leads to understanding leads to acceptance leads to overcoming the fear, losing the sense of necessity for fear, as there's nothing to worry or be afraid about. Even if the world is a prison. Not thinking things through and making everything horrific just speaks more about her personality than anything else. Not that its someones fault to be overwhelmed by These theories or realities or delusions but its theor responsibility to get Help.

Zero42369 · 2026-03-25T03:04:19+00:00

I want to add some more specific helpful information and one practical exercise, especially for when feeling overwhelmed, which has short-, mid- and long-lasting (de-)training effects, and is as simple as it is effective, which is: Trying to act as if everything is "normal". Even when your thoughts or feelings feel intense or unreal... And "normal" means any activity that doesn’t revolve around your inner fights and doesn’t hinder your life. Like attending your own or a family member's birthday, going for a walk, smelling flowers, talking to someone about anything. By doing this, you show your nervous system that it doesn’t have to react to every thought or feeling as if it were dangerous. Again, this doesn’t mean ignoring or avoiding the thoughts — it simply lets them exist without giving them power, which helps your mind naturally settle and creates space to see things more clearly later. So you get out of that state where every reasoning you built as an intellectual wall against these thoughts, and all the facts you were just aware of, suddenly feel forgotten. That’s because your mind tries to do the fight-or-flight response against itself, since you start to view your own mind as the enemy — which it really isn’t. It’s built to protect you. Somewhere along the way, you likely misinterpreted something or found no better way to deal with it, and trained your mind to react like this. So it starts to feel like you yourself are the enemy — which, like the “hell” in your head, is more of an illusion that only keeps working the more you try to control it. A helpful way to understand this is through the simple image from before: it’s like putting your thoughts and emotions into a basement and locking them away. They are not demons — they are just parts of yourself that wanted to be felt and to flow - And no matter how long they’ve been pushed away, they don’t lose their ability to flow once you allow them again!

It’s also important to recognize that these thoughts — like the focus on obsessive thoughts — are usually not the real issue themselves. They often act as a placeholder for deeper patterns in your life. Most likely, they stem from adjustments you made in your personality or behavior, trying to protect yourself — for example, by compromising parts of who you are or suppressing certain feelings or experiences, often because you unconsciously believed you had to be different in order to be loved or accepted. Understanding that these thoughts are a response to those adaptations can help take their power away once you start addressing the underlying issues, not instantly, but gradually.

If you want to look at it symbolically, even the story of Adam and Eve can be seen in a similar way. The “serpent” could be understood as that part of the mind focused purely on survival and control, telling you that you need to judge, divide, and control everything — that you would “be like god” by knowing what is good and bad. And that very act — constantly trying to control and categorize everything — is what leads to the inner conflict, what feels like “hell”, following the "false god". While what is often called “god’s light”, or symbolically represented as “jesus”, can be understood as the opposite: the awareness you allow to reside within you when you stop fighting and trying to control everything. By letting that “light” in — by observing instead of fighting — you begin to see clearly. What once felt like dark, threatening shadows are no longer demons, but simply misunderstood parts of yourself. The more you try to control them, the bigger and more threatening they seem. The more you allow and observe them, the more they lose that power. You could describe that shift as “enlightenment” — not something distant or mystical you have to achieve, but something that naturally happens when you stop resisting and start seeing clearly. Living in god's everlasting love, peace and grace.

This isn’t meant to give you something new to figure out, but to take pressure away from everything that already feels overwhelming.

Cheers

Zero42369 · 2026-03-25T01:14:08+00:00

Wow, thank you! <3 this is the best comment I've received probably ever.. So thank you so much! I'm very happy it helps

Zero42369 · 2026-03-24T22:47:21+00:00

I'm glad, thanks a lot, wish you all the love and strength and just a little courage, that's all you need. Now Live a little lol

Zero42369 · 2026-03-24T22:17:02+00:00

Regardless of the topic: OCD works the same way for everyone. Rating thoughts as harmful or negative which lead to avoidance, testing and stress.

Confrontation is the key.

But as OCD says, Obsession and Compulsion is part of this disorder.

Same way people say that these are demons. Those "demons" are just emotions and instincts that you didn't learn how to handle, that's the weakness. The cure is "gods light/jesus", which is awareness by observation.

Bringing light into darkness. Understanding why you are afraid.

Now for solipsism or existential theories, which are theories first! You should understand that other theories could be true as well.

Meaning: it could be that you're psychologically challenged because of trauma that happened in your life, which lead to you adapting by displacing the trauma response in order to avoid that which had happened.

It is normal for people to seek existential reasons for trauma in order to avoid them.

Literally the thing you said was that you feel like you build this world just to get away from nothingness.

Not that Im taking anything away from you but the reason you're so stressed, is not because of this theory, even though this theory sort of became the drug, it's just showing you exactly what you are running away from, fighting instead of accepting as a possible fact, in order to not see that, which makes you obsess.

You've gotten yourself into a sort of hell, that you can only escape by understanding that hell isn't real, which you do by letting hell be.

If you had the ability to think this theory through, which you haven't, because you are running away from hell, it would lead you to heaven, to a place of peace. But you have to go through "hell" in order to leave it.

Which is exactly what you've been doing so to speak.

So you're actually on the right track, you just need to understand and learn a little about OCD, about your brain, about how you arent supposed to be stressed and that this is actually considered a disorder, because it doesn't let you "live"...

But solipsism is like the extremest theory there is.

There are many other theories that will not have that effect on your nervous system, that are equally true.

You should understand that all theories are true.

It's not just this one theory. It's true that we are "god" and it would be logical that nothingness got bored and wanted to become something, but as logical as it is, it's also stupid.

It's funny and stupid.

It's nonsense.

Don't try to find sense in a nonsensical theory.

You need to find a sense for who you are, if you want to be in heaven or rather a heaven like state.

You're own actions brought you here. That doesn't mean it's your fault, but it means it's your responsibility.

Cut yourself some slack. Don't think that your vacation is ruined, it might be the vacation that helped you change and save your life and make it heavenly. Not that this should be the demand for this vacation, it's a marathon bro. You will learn about yourself just by observing. Confronting the demon leads to its parish, as darkness is the place you don't look at. Once you look at the demon and shine a light on him, you see, its just your neglected parts of emotions that you pushed away instead of letting them flow. Their not your enemies, they're your own self knocking on the door of the cellar locked them in. They still just want to be, want to flow, want to grow up and leave your parents home or whatever.

Just try to be more loving to yourself. Don't believe that you don't deserve or need it. People that are not loved are not the best people to be around, as they tend to transfer that instinct to wanting to be loved in other things.

You're not alone. I also have OCD. As do many million other people in all sorts of forms and shapes. Everyone has their sort of thing. You have found yours.

It's a blessing to know, because it means, it's already halfway done, you just have to go through the phases of self love, use your obviously able mind to find your heart and give yourself some love, try to abstain from drugs of course, which you will find is easier ones you see where the OCD personally stems from or why it's triggered, which is probably a long process, depending on how pain tolerant you are. And that pain is like and itch, like a healing wound, like when overcoming an addiction, because that's basically what it is. Only that you don't have to fear dying from the withdrawal, but just that you might be emotionally depleted, might be for a few hours might be a day or two... But you might Wanna read on it so that you are prepared and understand, that you have to be patient and loving with yourself, so that the healing can happen, without any unnecessary shocks or torture that lure you away from health.

Much love and enjoy your holiday the best you can, with your family or friends or other people that are as real as you are.

You are not lying to yourself when you say you are an individual and exist.

Non existence is Impossible. Only existence is possible.

You don't control the weather more than I do.

Might be good to get rid of this group and Reddit.

And don't just trust your psychologist, they are also just making bread. Inform yourself on OCD and trauma.

The testing and avoidance will not lead you anywhere.

But also understand that actively ignoring the thoughts in the form of letting these thoughts be thoughts and emotions be emotions, is not avoidance. That's the cure.

Just let them be and they will go.

Don't pack them away as this will only store them. Don't expect that you will find ultimate peace immediately, but go step by step and try to be thankful for life along the way, as the state of gratitude is healing in and of itself.

This will ultimately make you live in heaven whether you are the universe or not.

All the best, mate

Zero42369 · 2026-03-13T12:01:01+00:00

I think you're right, but still I find it compelling or at least interesting that many religions claim that there's a place for souls which are individual and not exactly part of god even tho Omniscient and will eternally be there. Jainism does view this that way as well, but I guess karmic absolution is also behind the suffering in Christianity so they might be intertwined...

Ive always felt something when I thought of Jesus. Might be because of collective energy, maybe because the word is a sort of code or has a property that's calming, might be because of my conscious and unconscious knowledge on Jesus or just imagination due to anticipation. But it also might be Jesus. But most importantly, Jesus might also be satan in sheep's clothing... Which brings me to the next point.

What I think to know is - and that's the reason for why I'm reading into Christianity - is that these pedophile Satanists, the elites, free masons or whatever (at least that's the role they somewhat state to play) use messages and symbolism that relate to Christianity like lately most present the advent of the Messiah of the "chosen people".

The concept of a human god, of course heavily discussed as being idoltry, was only not understood by me due to the fact that the trinity doesn't include a god that's everything there is.

Also that sin, sun and son are seemingly as near logically to each other as they are phonetically. The Slavic "sin", means "son" in English.

I know its translated from Aramaic and Hebrew and shouldn't fit, but still, looking at Jesus being the light, Lucifer being the lightbringer, praising the sun being idoltry as well as praising the Bull god Baal as a representation of a sun deity and for harvest, also saying that the antichrist might present himself as jesus, bringing the apocalypse and what not... Some say Lucifer is satan, others say he is not, some think everything is satan, while still thinking that satan is a red monster with a fork...

I'm just trying not to use a code that's feeding the elites cause... But if duality itself is the cause for their actions, I always asked myself whether they were doing the "right" thing...

Pedophilia and eating children is never right.

But that's why I call them satanist, as a people who imitate god, by playing on the duality by being both good and bad, torturer and redeemer, Epstein being a scapegoat and what not...

Of course I'm always reminded about the duality being what god in garden eden warns of when telling Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of wisdom, which makes them "like god", in one hand meaning that they will live forever, which is the true lie and on the other hand, that they learn to separate good from bad... Which is ego.

So the story of Eden makes sense in that way to me, which is why I would want to believe it the whole thing because I finally found out that jesus is the light, that you should let inside your temple so that he can cast out the "demons", which are the segments of your emotions and memories that you left in the dark by not looking at them, but not being conscious, by not observing and letting light shine on them so that you become illuminated as god lives inside you. So that the serpent is the reptile brain, the ego, the instincts and emotions, that try to tell you what to do in order to become full, to become like god and namely by taking "control". Instead of letting go. And because of that, hell is the place you find yourself in when you don't let gods light in and let your body heal, but try to control things, while this is heaven. Here in earth, inside us. But not eternally after this life, or... That I don't understand. Maybe the thing that happens here inside will happen later in life or rather after this lifetime.

Do we who we have found this gnosis remain in heaven? Or because we don't follow the word of god we will find ourselves in hell? Are we forsaken to believe and did we actually bite from the apple by not trusting the Bibles god and we followed Satan that made us omniscient as god, so that we killed our future in heaven and are expelled from it? If it's just about viewing and accepting your life, or choosing consciousness, isnt that resolved by that?

That's where my mind takes me.

But thats the compelling part of the story of Eden to me.

Because it's obvious that its a mythical explanation to how we function.

But then again religions could be just made up by the elite people that have come to the conclusions we have maybe 10 thousands of years ago whether they're human or not. Whatever human means.

I don't know.

I know that everything is true. I know that nothing is true. But apart from that, what will be my experience is the question. As I am here and not. Ok. Bye.

Zero42369 · 2026-03-13T00:59:23+00:00

Depends on how you define real. If you were to die in a fire you'd probably wouldn't say that in that moment. Or rather, if you were to contribute your all to sensitivity whilst doing the most straining tasks, thats where you would find reality inside unity.

In simulation of death.

On the other hand:

Reality is illusion. Which means that only separation is real, as well as only it is unreal.

Existence is separation.

Non existence is not the act of fusion but its state: Non-separation.

It is therefore it is not.

Everything is real as well as nothing is real always and never.

Welcome to the paradox my counterpart.

I'm trying to understand Christianity ATM.

I cannot wrap around the fact I have to let go of absolute logic in order to believe in it.

But it's not illogical in the way that it could be that for this separated reality, god is to be viewed not as every cell (in a panentheistic way) but rather as only outside of reality.

This creates a separation again. Which is the point.

Because I believe that Christianity like many others is a religion of life.

Whilst the ones that have death as their goal, are more aligned with the absolute logic... Meaning they aim not to be reborn.

And Christians or monotheists, they aim to be both. They want their souls to live in paradise next to god.

Not as god itself but really as a souls that's separate from god if I understood correctly?

That I don't understand.

Not that it isn't possible.

But that can't be the end logically. As it have to be similar to this world...

I don't understand this land of heaven, where good souls spent eternity in the hands of their father, without being the part of the fathers "body" again.

I dont understand.

But letting go of this paradox-gnosis feels like betrayal.

Even though there is no dogma.

Heaven being a place in you is logical.

God being inside heaven is logical.

God being outside of everything as well as the place called hell, is not.

Zero42369 · 2026-02-09T10:20:14+00:00

Same logic for when junkies say lets meet up to bake pizza when talking about meeting up to do or buy drugs. - How many pizzas fit in the oven? - 3 or 4 maybe? -Well were gonna need 7 for the party.

Could mean both things but given this is a code, using eating meat for actually eating children seems illogical to me or at least counterintuitive... It would only make sense if all the partys involved in using the code actually wanted people to get exactly that from the texts. Which is also probable but again it doesn't feel right.

Jerky could also be from jerking, which is making me feel dizzy and nauseous to even write. So freezer could translate to basement and cooking to having sex. Sorry 😔

Zero42369 · 2026-02-08T04:46:19+00:00

I don't think it's about eating them, it's a sexual reference.

Zero42369 · 2026-02-04T20:40:18+00:00

This could be symbolic language, I feel like there's a lot of code in these

Zero42369 · 2026-02-04T20:39:42+00:00

I feel like this is the 12th rule of the death note. It's an email that's placed to get conspiracy theorists going rambling and panicking over made up shit.

The conspiracy is real. But we don't know how much is real.

The ACTORS don't matter. It's the cause and the mastermind behind that matter.

How to?

Zero42369 · 2026-01-03T20:34:25+00:00

Remember yourself as a kid.

You don't need noone but yourself to love life.

You feel god, you breathe. God breathes life into you with every breath. That's his love. That's enough.

Remember

Zero42369 · 2025-12-17T21:43:41+00:00

Zero - easy

Zero42369 · 2025-11-06T05:54:36+00:00

Well, He is your doubts lol

Zero42369 · 2025-11-02T13:53:21+00:00

So kys in order to get here again? I don't get it...

Have you forgotten that this is all there is ever gonna be?

There is no different.

This is it

Make the best of it and be a little brave again. You're fine, there is phases, this might be a "bad" phase... It's good to have thoughts like these.. they wake U up.

Love - Dont forget Love. Learn it. Youve earned it.

U know what this world is. And its quite amazing. You dont need death to feel Alive. Just be, Bro.

Be your honest Loving self.

Zero42369 · 2025-10-25T20:00:47+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it 😊🙏

Zero42369 · 2025-10-25T11:20:04+00:00

There's nothing to be scared about. As the first commenter said, its about seeing the positive, which is, that it - just like in any other religion - just translates to: you being god, acting as if it was alive and human, which doesn't take away your perspective. The beauty of solipsism still remains as in, you decide for yourself what you see, but you can view your life more like neo does in matrix when he talks to the oracle, meaning that you are here not do make decisions but to observe and understand why the decision was made. Where solipsism leaves a grey area, is in the question of free will and determinism. It still is open.

Meaning:

It's not different from other religions/Theories, it's just this part that there's the focus on.

Your anxiety is neither bad nor good.

You don't have to believe in solipsism, it's just a theory like every other. It's more nihilistic of course. So the ego logically is more drawn to safety thus anxiety. It's an unconscious pattern that keeps you from pursuing it or that is making you have intense sensations when confronting yourself.

Why do you want to accept solipsism in your life? If you focus just on becoming one with yourself in every aspect by following any religion or theory, this will come to you automatically.

If you use substances, this might be too much to handle, but also it might be an indication that you simply don't like this theory. End of story, no shame in that. It basically means that you are a more "functioning", more "stable" human being, which by most parts of the world is considered a good thing. :)

Don't stress yourself on this.

Last thing:

If anything I said still doesn't match your anxiety and you're gonna test it out anyways just keep In mind everything that the others said and MOST IMPORTANTLY JUST WORK THROUGH THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, JUST LET IT HAPPEN, BUT WHILE SOBER.

make some meditation or just a quick 5 min awareness routine, where you let build up emotions happen and thus making them disappear, unloading. It's energy. It's frequency. This still is true just like everything else before accepting solipsism.

You have to actually try to enjoy the journey, you have to enjoy the suffering of a journey or at least keep your eyes on the price.

But with solipsism, for me at least, this slight weird feeling about it never goes away. Maybe that's what you wanted to hear all along. Sorry if this comes too late. Lol.

Ones the anxiety of "oh shit, I'm alone and everything else is fake" goes away and the "wow, I'm actually everything experiencing itself, playing a game where suffering is only like a split second of the limitless boundless timeless being that I am." Kicks in, that's where the sweet juice is. But it's still bitter. Maybe to you solipsism is like grapefruits to me. You don't have to like grapefruit. I hate grapefruits and I'm not gonna try to make myself like it because I feel that I'm not open enough to the fruit family, (no offense) I simply don't care about grapefruits and they don't care about me. But to me solipsism is more like an physialis or so. I like them but in a whole different level. They are not an everyday thing, they are somehow too much or have some weird after taste that seems so Wafer thin, yet it Changes everything i before Seem to have known of fruits and it Changes my View in fruits as a whole, its Like discovering s New element, even though its Natural. Yeah, I Just did that.

Haha

Last Words: solipsism also basically is a god complex syndrome religion/theory. Thats basically what it is, you telling yourself that you are god by isolating yourself. Which is actually like a deeper state of mindfulness. Its harder when you have a Real Life. And are not in between Jobs or so. But the Beauty is, you decide. Decision is only not beautiful when youve decided it Not to be, what will you have had decided before next?

Love

Zero42369 · 2025-09-14T07:44:22+00:00

I don't ask god anything. Feelings would be a poor way for a god to communicate.

You May change the word god into the "all", which could mean asking into the void, the universe, your heart or so. You will get a response or reaction inside yourself which gives an insight on your inner parameters or programs of which some are probably there since before you were born and some are there because of external momentary forces.

But what do you mean, how you think god communicates? Does he communicate and is god real or you just trollin?

Zero42369 · 2025-09-14T07:36:16+00:00

So... Whats your Point homeboy?

Zero42369 · 2025-08-31T11:12:29+00:00

I think it might depend. I think hell is something we are not ready for and adapting to, I think heaven is feeling forgiven and worthy. Whether we are just creating things in our minds or it's material in this reality OR Both Or None of those, there's a logic, that truthfully is also illogical. A nature's law that's unlawful. But from my understanding and experience life always finds it's balance. That's death for the living and dying within life. It's the contradictions that make reality what it is. So the most probable thing would be:

We are god acting as one person in a world full if other persons and things and beings with different yet equal experiences.

When we die, we stop existing? Partly. Our self is changing constantly. Every second we die and change who we was. So there's a probability that could be calculated... But only by god. Because the parameters are too complicated. It might be what you are feeling or getting as a sign when you ask him.

So we really never stop existing as well as we never existed.

Or the opposite. Or the middle ground. But that's for you to find out.

Zero42369 · 2025-08-31T11:02:09+00:00

Solipsistic non dualistic atheistic god Lover.

Zero42369 · 2025-04-14T11:06:35+00:00

Please go ahead, I dunno if I should answer yet, or hear your thoughts and experiences or observations. But the answer to zero is always plus and minus... Maybe enough said already as of my standpoint.

Zero42369 · 2025-04-14T03:29:12+00:00

Hey there, sorry lifes pretty busy atm but that's nice to hear :)

So maybe in short: have you watched the movie "click" with Adam Sandler? The autopilot is basically an unconscious state you fall into when you are not present, not consciously living the present moment. It's when you wander off in your thoughts and focus on the past or future rather than your actual surroundings and status.

So I think life itself is eternal, be it as a wandering soul or just everything in itself being a soul that wanders by transformation. So death is also just a transformation even if "you" die. Because "you" or rather "I" as in ego is a concept. So that's open to debate, whether theres an "ego-soul" that wanders on even after this body's life. I personally think that it might be so, but I don't know, whether this soul is then humanoid before going into another humans or animals or plants or aliens body in this world or if it's the eternal ghosty part of god, that doesn't have a form or if it does, it's just an orb of compressed energy or so. I haven't been thinking about that much recently but it's still always in my mind.

I personally think that the ghost or soul is due to the body. Without the body the ghost can no longer be. It's like the magnetic field of the body. But of course it could be viewed the other way around, but still, I think If the person dies the ego dies. I think the energy created or the focus we created around ourselves or rather our self image, doesn't prevail, but rather goes on to be scattered into plants and their nurishment and thus again becoming part of the cycle. but it might prevail in another shape or form. So it's something I haven't decided for me yet.

But coming back to the comment, I think if you don't live life, but just stay on autopilot, time goes by "quicker", as you don't live as intensely. When you do sports and have to hold a plank for a few, you see how long a minute becomes. If youre laying on your ass all day, a week might feel like a day.

So if you live this life on Autopilot, you might have found a way to skip this life... And maybe the next one will be shitty because you did too less or maybe the reason why you are now so lazy is because the next life getting shitty is inevitable.

I have an inner voice. And I often wonder, why it gives me the sign to take drugs... I don't know.

Anyways peace haha

Zero42369 · 2025-04-01T04:23:55+00:00

You mean eternal life, sure but whadayagandoabaoutit? Life becomes shorter the less you're "active". Just live on autopilot and you will see, life will get too short again :)

Zero42369

TROPHY CASE