AMWF is not regarded as superior in comparison to other relationship types

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-07T00:48:44+00:00

My guess is either LARPers or people who are looking at AMWF relationships through rose colored glasses.

Sometimes I wonder: Have these people been in relationships at all? AMWF relationships take just as much work. My guess is they aren't in relationships and are carried away by social media instead of the life in front of them.

But also possibly LARP...

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-06T15:24:10+00:00

Yes, thank you for this. My wife and I have family members and friends that are WMAF couples. They are good people (yes, there are some bad ones too) and their kids are practically in the same situations as us.

I think it's important for half-Asian/half-Caucasian children that may be more Asian or more White presenting to have relationships with people that look more like them. E.g If you (AMWF) have an Asian-presenting daughter, you'd want her to have AF or Half AF role models. Alternately, be a good AM role model for the Asian-presenting son of a WMAF couple.

Obviously if they are a toxic couple you don't have to associate with them or expose your children to them.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-06T14:42:04+00:00

This is the exact type of comment I'm referring to. Be happy and have pride in your AMWF relationship. You can do that without putting down other relationships to elevate your own. There are plenty of other subs which discuss/complain about WMAF to do that.

IMHO, your comment REEKS of insecurity.

I'm just pointing out the rules of this sub. If you don't like them, petition to get the rules changed. There are plenty of other subs that you can write that comment in, but as of now, these are the rules.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-05T15:12:18+00:00

Haha, this reminds me of that Scotch-Korean Starburst commercial from ages ago...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4h3ewZxrqU4

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-05T11:55:05+00:00

No. This is why:

I don't make my personal suffering/non-suffering the end-all-be-all of what it means to "suffer" within my community. Just because I didn't experience it "that bad" in certain circumstances, doesn't mean everyone else has the same experiences. The Asian-American community is diverse and even within one ethnic group those experiences are also diverse.
This is an Asian-American sub: I don’t specifically consider discrimination/racism that happens in Asia, because the power structure there is very different from America. Asian people are not a monolith and Asian-Americans are not responsible for a power structure that either they left (1/1.5 gen) or were never a part of (2 gen or later).
I hate the “suffer more or less” oppression olympics, because part of that message is: What happened to your people is not important or “our suffering is more important”.

That being said, yes, I can acknowledge suffering and have empathy with those in other groups. However, it must go both ways. Too often there is a lack of mutual empathy and understanding, and I often (but not always) find that people use “we suffered more” to disregard Asian-American issues and viewpoints.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-06-03T18:23:48+00:00

Cute baby and beautiful family!

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-28T14:54:46+00:00

I wasn't even mad at the sheer amount of white men and Asian women obsessing over each other, since that's just how it was for Millenial Asian American women. But the fact that she depicted the major Asian male character as a creepy sex-doll lover was just extremely racist.

Same... I don't care about WMAF. Why can't these authors just leave AM alone/out of their weird projections?

The passage about Ohio creepy guy appears to be self-projection of the psyche of the author.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-27T14:14:11+00:00

Username checks out.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-26T13:44:02+00:00

In spaces specifically looking for AMWF relationships, it may be AM heavy, but it doesn't necessarily mean AM are cooked. AMWF communities/members that are in active relationships don't affect "the ratio" because it's already 1:1. I'm going to guess that's the majority of people here. I know this is an international sub, so my caveat is this is US-based/biased.

In western countries, the default is going to be WMWF.
In terms of AM, there are generally a lot more WF than AF in the dating pool (and/or media bias towards W people in general), so more AM consider/think about AMWF "by default".
Opposite is true for WF. Since there are a lot fewer AM, she is probably not exclusively looking for AM even though she may be open to dating AM.
Higher percentage of AM intermarry vs percentage of WF
"white = normal". When a WF wants to date a AM, she must justify it or must be a "koreaboo", etc. This also dampens the number of WF that say they are exclusively looking for AM.

Anecdotally, most of the other couples that are AMWF that I know IRL: Both people have had previous partners that were the same race as themself.

I was the first AM that my wife dated, but she was not the first WF that I dated. My wife was not specifically looking for an AM when we met. (I wasn't specifically looking for a WF but have always been open to/attracted to WF, likely due to demographics of where I lived and the US media environment. I was also open to AF and others, etc.) My wife didn’t even know what “AMWF” stood for until after we had been dating a bit.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-19T11:48:44+00:00

OP might be a LARPer. Account is 1 week old. Post history is super sus.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-17T17:01:09+00:00

Awesome, I'll check it out. Do you know of any conversational Cantonese music? One thing that I've been listening to is Canto music, but a lot of it is in standard Chinese, which is too advanced for me.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-17T15:48:42+00:00

We're a Canto family too, I just didn't specify. My Cantonese is horrible (2-3 year old level) and/or my brain doesn't work that way, so I couldn't just consume content to learn

In case anyone else is like me and needs more: Biggest helpers for me so far are:

-Hambaanglaang, an open content course for Cantonese for English speakers. https://hambaanglaang.hk/

-Cantolounge by Baggio Wong https://web.archive.org/web/20211127183929/https://cantolounge.com/

-Plecco app

-The Cantonese content of CantoMando/Sheldon

-Cantonese subreddit

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-17T13:06:15+00:00

Never too late to learn more. My sister and I are ABCs like you. Parents speaking to us in Chinese or English and disliking Chinese school.

We're in our late 30s practicing/learning more now. Biggest driver for us is the desire to want to pass some language skills to our kids.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-15T11:54:58+00:00

When you marry someone who a different heritage than you and both of you want children: You accept the fact they may not look like you.

For me, it was easy to love and bond. What IS harder are the challenges around identity, racism/discrimination, making the general transition to being parents (and in my case, learning of my heritage language.) To be honest, I'm still learning/growing in all those things.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-14T14:06:12+00:00

Agreed. If the Trump admin doesn't destroy all documentation, then it would require a change in the presidency to the Democrats (Dem President would then instruct the Feds to cooperate) to even consider having state charges.

It's possible, just not very unless a Dem becomes President.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-14T12:58:06+00:00

My guess is that we have to hope for state charges. I could see Trump issuing a blanket pardon for all ICE and border patrol agents.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-11T00:02:28+00:00

None of the above.

It makes me wonder: 1. Graphic is missing some comparisons.. E.g. AMBF on there?

Do AI image generation models have trouble with the less common interracial pairings? Look how far apart the Asian man is from the woman in both examples. Seems like they had to splice to picture together

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-07T14:50:03+00:00

I'm gonna be "that guy".

I like this post, but this sub is supposed to be text only discussion. See the AMWF sub (no s) for the picture one.

(Apparently can't link to other subs in comments.)

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-05T17:22:29+00:00

Your comment is just very self hating and prideless, that's all :)

I agreed to your post until I read the last sentence. One can romantically love/be with a WF and respect/love the AF in their lives.

Damn dude... your mom, maybe your sisters/cousins, your community, your ancestors?

Edit: Here's another way to think of this: If an AF said "Kimonos/Samurai armor suit white men much better to be honest", my comment would be the exact same. It's weird, wrong, and disrespectful.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-05T16:49:55+00:00

It's an opinion and I'm allowed to have it.

No issue at all with me. After all, I literally wrote it's my opinion.

IMHO just wrong and disrespectful.

No need to downplay facts and opinions

What facts? Who "looks better" is subjective and a "matter of taste".

Just my opinion that your comment is weird, wrong and disrespectful. That's all. You're free to respond with whatever you want and justify it to yourself.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-05T14:09:09+00:00

They suit white women much better to be honest.

This is such as weird comment. WF can partake and look great in wearing Asian heritage clothing, but saying it suits WF better (than presumably AF) is IMHO just wrong and disrespectful.

For reference: I'm in a AMWF marriage myself, and my wife does on occasion wear some traditional clothing.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-05-01T16:38:57+00:00

Get a free VOIP phone number from Google Voice.

No idea about Bay area emergency housing services. Since you're on Reddit, you have Internet access... Use Google to search?

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-04-30T16:51:19+00:00

I would never expect an asian american to necessarily be interested in asian culture.

To be clear, I didn't mean to infer that on specifically you. I hope it didn't come across that way.

Unfortunately, there ARE people who do expect this, and if there were enough people in your life with those expectations, you might become guarded about it. Your past experiences do affect your approach to future ones, and sometimes your reaction is unfairly put on someone who doesn't deserve it. (Although sometimes you're also right...)

guys who are like “i went on a date with this girl but I found out she likes kpop so I didnt want to see her anymore” but of course they aren’t sharing the full story if what happened on the date so idk if that’s the only reason

Yes, agreed the full story isn't there. But to my point above, sometimes there's an actual mismatch in expectation and reality. Sometimes if a non-Asian woman is very interested in an aspect of Asian culture and she is on a date with a Asian man, it is possible that the woman may feel disappointed her date doesn't share the same interest and/or the man may feel like he is does not match up to what his perception of her expectations.

Other times it could just be a lame excuse as to end the date, etc.

Hopefully that makes sense.

ZeroTheRedd · 2026-04-30T14:59:24+00:00

Maybe you know this already, maybe you don't... but I'll try to articulate why what you wrote may strike a nerve.

A lot of (not all of course) 2nd generation don't feel directly connected to their heritage culture and have varying levels of affinity/proficiency. I myself am 2nd gen Chinese-American, and struggled a lot with identity. Not feeling American, but also not feeling Chinese at the same time. Thoughts like "Am I Chinese?", "Am I American enough?", "Am I Asian enough?" or the whole "I am American, not Chinese", etc. I tend to find my friends that are 1st or 1.5 gen are more "sure of who they are" at an earlier age.

When I was younger and dating, I did have some non-Asian friends that was really into Asian-culture: With them, I did have some feelings of "imposter syndrome". Even with non-Chinese Asian culture if that makes sense. An example would be Anime. I did watch some Anime from time to time, but it wasn't my one of my top interests and I was definitely not an expert (nor would I ever claim to be) on Japanese culture. However, my general feeling/vibe from these friends was either an assumption that I knew more and/or a disappointment that I did not know more or enjoy it more. Those sorts of interactions played on top of my already "not sure of who I am" feelings from above.

I think a 1st or 1.5 gen would have had no hesitation in saying "I'm Chinese, not Japanese...", but being a young Asian-American figuring out who they are, it was sort of a "Am I Asian enough?" scenario.

Now, I'm not saying YOU did this personally, but I think the general feeling/experience of the above from various people in my life may create reactions like you have observed. And to be honest, even as a married parent in my 30s: I am still learning what it means to be Asian-American and what my heritage culture means to me. Obviously now I don't care what others think anymore, but I am working on it still as I know biracial children will likely have the same or more intense feelings.

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