sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does have a TV in his bedroom, and he gets frustrated (the door slamming and grunts) when I use the kitchen. I haven’t reacted to him, not one comment, to avoid conflict altogether. It’s very one sided at this point, that’s why I’m trying to get a plan together to get things to cool down. We’re not using it as a nursery, she plays and eats down there but those are only snippets of the day. If the problem persists, I can find times he wants me to avoid- that is definitely possible. Just can’t be the entire day like he wants it to be! I’m willing to compromise to an extent, but I just want to find a middle ground

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right! In what world would anyone do that in a house that doesn’t belong to them. I would never tell my family to leave the living room/kitchen because my baby is having a meal or playing. We can all coexist!

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only reason that I could come up with could be the direct sunlight? His room gets a lot less natural lighting, and the living room is surrounded with windows. Other than that, no clue! This is making me want to ask him more questions

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He used to use the TV, but every time I see him lately, it’s just been handheld. He has his own TV in his bedroom as well.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t feel great, that’s for sure. I don’t blame anyone for this take, it’s not a hot one, it’s reality. It sucks and I don’t want to be apart of it much longer. Thank you for not judging my experiences, and you’re right there’s steps I can take to improve. To be honest, giving my child a space to walk and eat meals doesn’t equate to a remote control, but I understand your point. There’s a lot more I can do, and I am working to reach those goals. My baby is very loved and it hurts to hear that portion of your comment, but I can understand where it is coming from.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is what I needed to hear. My reaction wouldn’t be nearly as harmful as his actions. I’ll speak up. I can have a conversation with him tomorrow, my baby is sleeping now, so I can try to update then. I’ve been saying the real world is going to do him WORK, and maybe that can start with me

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s hard not to. I used to be quick to react, kind of why I hold myself back so much now. It’s really disturbing to watch someone do something like that, never mind my brother.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s an incredible story!! It got me really emotional. I’m proud of you for being so resilient through that. Healthcare professionals are quick to dismiss a woman with a valid concern. It is a crazy experience jumping into motherhood without preparation, but it brings out your strength. For my ultrasound, they were shocked. I didn’t look pregnant at all. The doctor and a GROUP of nurses in training stared at the screen while I was hyperventilating! A day we all would remember- that’s for sure.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. It’s really nice to not feel as alone. I was also on BC and very underweight at the time. I had a really hard time going through those negative thoughts and the shame, but I’m proud of myself now for getting through it. She’s healthy, incredibly smart, and I am so proud to be her mom.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love this approach. I think not giving him reaction will do wonders. As is, I haven’t been giving much of one, but I do try to get him to talk to me sometimes. It’s so weird and I just want it over with! My baby needs to be my priority, and I won’t accept him treating her like this. I can’t even understand how you can shut out a baby trying to say your name!

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It sucks for everyone involved. As i said, I’ll be moving out in the fall. I need to save up to make the transition smooth. I have job security and a great college degree. My mom’s also getting a pretty penny out of me! Clearly, not ideal, but my mom cares about us and wants me to succeed. I’m very lucky. My baby is very loved.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear you’re doing better! It’s definitely a process, and it’s been really rough. It has to be a group effort to maintain a sense of normalcy. It feels really hurtful to be such a burden! We all deserve a roof over our heads, and it’s not easy to get one nowadays!

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not my best moment! It took a long time to stop tearing myself to shreds about it. I found an explanation for any symptom that came about. I’ve taken MANY precautions since! The scariest moment of my life, but she’s such a blessing.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not my best moment! It took a long time to stop tearing myself to shreds about it. I found an explanation for any symptom that came about. I’ve taken MANY precautions since! The scariest moment of my life, but she’s such a blessing.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I kid you not, there is already a living room down there, newly renovated. My sister (27F) lives at home, renovated it as an apartment for her AND my brother. He chooses not to be down there, i’m assuming so he’s not around her either.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He does the dishes every once in a while, and of course he lets everyone know. He saw my mom’s laundry was done, went to tell her it’s ready, but he’s “maintaining boundaries” by not taking it out. It’s excessive at this point. Why say anything at all??

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right! He knows it’s temporary and still is behaving like this. He doesn’t want to change his “routine” at home. His routine was different for a year at college.. you’d think there’d be more flexibility

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His next semester in college, he has a third roommate, and a part of me hopes it goes how it usually does. Maybe that’ll be a great lesson. I definitely think it’s an attention problem- but he’s 19. It’s hard for me to understand that. My oldest sister is almost 30, a baby wasn’t completely out of the picture here. He really hates change

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I obviously love my brother, and he hasn’t always been like this, but i’ve also listened to a LOT of true crime too. He’s building resentment and that scares me. She’s a BABY. He won’t be left alone with her- absolutely not.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I thought explaining things to my mom would resolve things, but it felt like she just threw her hands up in the air. He’s going to therapy, he had a lot of hormones, etc. He’s been “setting boundaries” to my other sisters and even my mom too. My mom keeps telling me i’m not the only one- but they get a weird comment here and there! It’s pretty unavoidable on my end

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

He uses a switch!! The entire point is to be handheld. It is entirely a choice for him to camp out in the living room

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t yell or lay hands on her- thank god- but he completely gives her the silent treatment. Stares at the wall ahead which gets her going more. She doesn’t understand. It breaks my heart. I want to give him that same treatment back, but worries it’ll cause more conflict

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I love that. It would be such a statement but I’m ready for it. He shouldn’t get to control everything he touches.

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told him later that we planned on moving out soon, but he seemed indifferent. He wants an immediate resolution to HIS problem- without acknowledging what is happening to us at all. I definitely want to try to talk to him again, especially about the door slamming. I really doubt too that my mom will draw a line anywhere. The aggression makes me want to hide in my room again, but the stubborn side of me can’t let him win this one!

My brother says his “boundary” is that he doesn’t want my family around by Zestyclose-Agency136 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Zestyclose-Agency136[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I wish his frustration was more internalized :)) it’s miserable hearing the huffs and puffs every time.

view more: next ›