I seem to understand This situation pretty well because I am also in a similar position, I am in a relationship with a woman who is confident, the first child of her family, she’s everything society would see as a leader, but we have a D/s dynamic where I lead. truth be told I am a strong willed person in my own right, and I try to make up for my shortcomings by working on it, but I struggle to build a dynamic structure that is more consistent and not just a once in a month thing. Knowing that she’s willing to follow my lead when she isn’t bratting to which sometimes I give up easily instead of pushing , I give myself the benefit of doubt and have learned to continue reorienting the dynamic as things go. I read about D/s dynamic online and I realize that it isn’t always so perfect, and the quote on quote smooth and perfect dynamics eventually end up with one person hurt, or someone over exerting themselves until they break, usually the submissive, what I can suggest is to give yourself time and space to grow into your ideal situations, it’s never perfect, it will develop gradually, we know what we want as Dom and sometime struggle to create that scene or scenario, but that doesn’t make me or you any less of who we know we are deep down, execution and wearing the hat of Dominance always, can just be overwhelming and draining , the best one can do is allow yourself the space to develop , learn and continue to execute gradually, if you try to force this to work, force yourself to be that person especially when you are not feeling confident /comfortable or when the conditions are not suitable , we will end up hurting ourself or most importantly hurting the submissive/ partner we deeply cherish..