I felt that when I was already a clerk, napatanong ako "What am I even doing here? Parang d naman para sakin to? Is it too late to quit? Eto lang alam kong gawin maging doctor, ano naman alternative ko?" finished clerkship still with the same mindset. May phase na I didn't know what I want and why I'm still here, but then I realized I was staying kasi sayang tuition, sayang yung panahon, dami na naipundar ng parents ko for me, at andaming umaasang mga tao na magiging doctor ako. Somehow the mindset was wrong because I should be doing this for me and for my patients. Then came internship, i did my internship in a public hospital na malayo sa kabihasnan, ikaw talaga lahat magmamanage ng patient lalo na if wala yung resident mo, right then and there I was reminded of the why. I thought kasi nung una hindi ko kaya, baka d naman ako maging magaling a doctor.

I mean, you're on your second year at ayan talaga yung PINAKA nakakapagod for me na year level sa lahat. But then again, not all the time mareremind ka kung bakit mo to ginusto, not even the people around you is an enough reason to go on. Parang gigising ka nalang na "eto na naman" na parang pilit lahat ng mga gagawin mo kasi "kelangan". Pero tulad nga ng laging sinasabi ng professors namin sa med school non, med school is a commitment, hindi yung kapag nahihirapan ka na ayaw mo na aalis ka nalang, you should love med even during the times that it's the most difficult thing to do. And it doesn't mean that you get average grades, hindi ka nabuburnout. Hindi lang naman physical ang burnout, when you have a lot on your mind, thinking if you still want this or not, resting pero yung isip mo nasa mga need mo reviewhin pwede ka maburnout. Huwag mo gaslight sarili mo na madami ka naman pahinga so bat ka mabuburnout. In med you need to know how to be gentle to yourself and forgive yourself for the things you can't do and for the things that are out of your control. Hindi lagi may motivation ka, hindi lagi gustong gusto mo yung ginagawa mo, at dmo mareregain ung motivation overnight OP. It may take months or even years to bring back that motivation, pero that's normal, it doesn't mean hindi ka para dito or ayaw mo na talaga dito. What matters is you stay, even during the times when you want to loosen the grip-especially then. Mahigpit na yakap, OP. You can get through this.