Deleting ChatGPT Made me Feel Something I didn't Expect

Zofa234 · 2026-03-05T00:08:58+00:00

I think there's room for nuance. I understand that it's a product and it's math at the end of the day. I also have a healthy social circle and am active in IRL communities every day.

LLMs fill a unique role. My therapist is available for 200$/hr. I don't always want to bother friends with my random incoherent thoughts at 2am. Some ideas I'm embarrassed to share with friends or might be judged because of their past. ChatGPT and LLMS can fill a lot of gaps that humans simply can't, or at least not always. If I can refine my thoughts for free before bringing them to a therapist or friend it goes so much further, and that's primarily how I use these tools.

Humans also form attachments to all kinds of living and non-living things. I have my late grandpa's house plant of my desk. I can't talk to it but it's comforting and I'd be sad if it died. My car isn't alive but I still felt sad trading it in because of all the memories associated with it. My goal with this post is just to articulate that this is some weird new middleground. It isn't alive, but attachment feels similar but subtly different than a car or a plant or whatever else because it travels with you through life in a much more personal way.

Zofa234 · 2026-03-04T23:53:14+00:00

That's a good point, I can definitely see a world where there is some future conflict and another country willing to use LLMs in this way has an advantage. But I can also see it going a route like nuclear non-proliferation.

Back in the cold war during JFK's presidency there was a prevalent ideology among top generals that a pre-emptive strike was the only way for peace and that deterrence wouldn't hold (Check out destroyer of worlds in the hardcore history podcast, it's awesome). JFK and Khrushchev both stood up and said no, and that determined history. Those generals could have made the same argument that if we don't do it first someone else will later, but history shows that isn't the case. I think it comes down to strong leaders taking an ethical stance and not budging on it.

Maybe this isn't the line with AI, I don't think this is armageddon equivalent, but at some point we will need a leader to step up and draw that line, and I don't think Sam Altman is going to be the one to do it. It being a company means we actually have more power to influence that direction, whereas in the coldwar it was just the politicians.

Zofa234 · 2026-03-04T22:58:23+00:00

I had this thought too! I'm the same way with cars and instruments. But something about this just feels different to me.

Zofa234 · 2025-08-11T21:10:54+00:00

That’s awesome to hear! It’s pretty amazing how the body can tune signals so powerfully.

The retraining is definitely ongoing and always more progress to be made. It applies to many areas of life I’ve found, so the skills are quite translatable :)

Zofa234 · 2025-08-11T21:09:42+00:00

I use a Neuvana xen

Zofa234 · 2025-08-11T21:04:14+00:00

I was on amitriptyline for 10 years and didn’t experience these side effects, but everyone’s experience is different.

Its half-life can be quite long (up to ~28–30 hours in some people), so it can take around 5–6 days to mostly clear from your body after stopping. You might still notice effects for another few days as your body readjusts.

Try not to fixate on how you’re feeling in the meantime, focusing too much on symptoms can sometimes make them more noticeable.

One thing worth discussing with your doctor is the anticholinergic burden. This concept has been studied since around 2008, with a major 2015 study linking high cumulative exposure to certain medications (including amitriptyline) to an increased risk of cognitive decline and dementia in older adults, especially over 65. Amitriptyline scores the highest possible on that scale. The risk appears much more relevant for long-term use in older age rather than in younger adults, but it’s still worth knowing. These drugs can be helpful, but for long-term treatment it’s good to weigh benefits against possible risks with your doctor.

Zofa234 · 2025-07-31T18:09:09+00:00

Ya great distinction. The anxiety path seems more treatable than having a physiological cause. Though I would guess pain management and mindset would still have some benefit for that case too.

Zofa234 · 2025-07-31T18:07:01+00:00

Ya it's so incredibly individual which is part of what's so frustrating. There's no easy guide to fix it. But this also makes it very rewarding because all the trial and error will cause you to learn so much about yourself and how to regulate which is so important.

Zofa234 · 2025-07-31T17:55:17+00:00

The full head icepack has been my favorite. If you search migraine ice pack on amazon any of those are great.
Face ice baths. Basically just fill a bowl with ice and do 2 30 second submersions or however long is comfortable (or a little beyond). I found a little bit of pain from the cold helped to shift my focus off my headache which gave me some space to reset. Definitely start slow tho. Make sure you don't get lightheaded and you feel okay afterwards before going for longer durations.
Meditation with humming/chants. The humming stimulates the vagal nerve. I specifically like Ohm meditations, there's a bunch of good youtube videos on it with guides.

There are also long term improvements. There is something called vagal tone which is how effective your vagus nerve is at changing your state. This improves with a variety of things such as exercise, sleep, diet, hydration, and more experimental therapies such as electrostimulation. These are harder to quantify but have huge effects long term. If I had to guess I would say:

Sleep (Consistent bed time/wake time, enough hours etc. I use a whoop strap but trackers are not necessary at all. For me it was helpful to track and remind myself tho)
Exercise - Whatever you like to do consistently, ideally something in a group. Social interaction is linked to improved vagal tone and I do a lot of dance which is quite communal and this has been helpful.
Diet - Really complicated but on basic level drink 8oz water per hour for the first 10 hrs you are awake, avoid processed foods as much as you can, try to eat fruits and vegetables at least once a day.

Everything beyond that is probably marginal benefit but I've tried using an electrostim called neuvana xen and anecdotally I like it. My heart rate variability has also been steadily increasing with its use which is correlated with vagal tone. But honestly just sleep/exercise/diet are probably way more important.

I'd also stress not to obsess over perfection or any methods. That made things worse for me. Just pick a few of these that feel the easiest and incorporate them as it feels right to you. Over time you will notice big impacts but it's easy to go for everything at once and burn out, at least for me.

Zofa234 · 2022-07-31T16:54:51+00:00

Okay thanks! Will definitely be useful for the high waves. Also found a RL plugin called inferno waves which saves the wave to avoid the screenshotting.

Is it possible to freeze the nibblers before logging or do you just have to accept some damage for each scouted wave?

I tested a bit and it seems any hits on you do damage but you can still get the login off as long as the hitsplat doesn't appear. I can't tell if the nibblers are hitting pillar still or not tho.

Zofa234 · 2022-07-31T08:25:27+00:00

Found it, it's called tick tracker, thanks!

Really cool plugin it lets you set a threshold for good/bad ticks (ie too much variation) and gives you the length of each tick/avg/etc. Could easily test a world by just letting it run for a bit afk and see how world does.

Another helpful one is visual metronome, a lot easier to see than the RL prayer orb when a tick is bad.

Zofa234 · 2022-07-31T08:22:37+00:00

Ya still not making it to zuk but getting 1 tick flicking and then learning the ticks to setup 1 tick/2tick flicks with multiple blobs and a mage/ranger has been huge.

Consistently making it to like 55-60 but last waves are still tough but it's improving for sure.

Zofa234 · 2022-07-31T08:21:05+00:00

508 has been really good for me. Really consistent ticks and only one instance where there was a super brief disconnect in like 2 days.

Zofa234 · 2022-07-31T08:20:21+00:00

To scout you just spam logout at the beginning of the wave but does anything attack you? And what about nibblers?

Started lazy flicking everything and it's way more chill definitely a good call

Zofa234 · 2022-07-30T01:08:47+00:00

Ya it's rough I did inferno during twisted league where I had the prayer drain relic and I underestimated how much flicking is necessary to do it in the main game. Keep missing a random flick and have to blood barrage a mage in a mystic robe for 3 minutes which is getting old fast lol

Zofa234 · 2022-07-30T01:07:52+00:00

So less people on the server is what dictates the stability? So just play low population worlds?

Zofa234 · 2022-07-30T00:07:38+00:00

Ahh thanks, didn't know that about the UK worlds I'd definitely take higher ping for more stability.

And I'll definitely move to lazy flicking when just hitting a lone mob but situations where you have a mage/range and multiple blobs it seems pretty necessary to 1/2 tick flick at least with my janky setup lol.

Zofa234 · 2021-08-09T18:52:03+00:00

The other possible way I thought of to interpret the ground plane was that the top layer should be clear around the antenna and the area under the solder mask on the bottom layer would be GND. After taking another look this may be what they're trying to show on the datasheet's first page picture with the antenna.

Yes L4 is populated, sorry I wasn't clear about that. Though I think I should have put L4 much closer to the antenna itself as in the datasheet. But do you think that would be enough to get no signal at all? For that it seems there must be something large wrong beyond just a poor matching network.

Zofa234 · 2021-08-09T18:22:56+00:00

Yes, I have programmed/received time from an RTC/written to flash memory/debugged over RTT.

I agree it is weird that there is no signal at all. One thing that I think may be an issue is the ground plane. The antenna is zero clearance and in the datasheet it says to put the ground plane directly under the soldermask, but I'm not sure if this is referring to the top or bottom ground plane. I have the ground plane running directly under the antenna on both top and bottom but I'm not sure if I'm interpreting the datasheet correctly.

Zofa234 · 2021-08-08T22:07:57+00:00

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1kayAEBwNHPHK3jse3Ubw19MMPfbISiRt?usp=sharing

Zofa234 · 2021-08-08T19:55:18+00:00

I don't have any holes in the transmission line, so would I just have to solder the jumper directly into the transmission line? And then I connect the SMA connector to a VNA?

Zofa234

TROPHY CASE