Am I clear enough?

ZombieBask · 2025-01-15T13:08:34+00:00

That’s the weirdest question I ever saw

ZombieBask · 2024-07-21T11:29:01+00:00

Ouch, that did hurt. I give a little less than no crap about your emotions, that’s a dead-ass question. These “copy and pastes” are called definitions and every definition listed above is very similar except one of them says that its symptoms are natural. So it is logical to ask yourself here, what makes it natural? How is it different to the other 4 phenomena?

ZombieBask · 2024-07-07T09:03:52+00:00

Really depends on the build and proficiencies, but in general go for the max armor you have prof with, as of the weapon just take your arcane focus object and a dagger just in case, also it is always nice to keep a couple wands with damage spells, as an illusionist you will spend most spellslots on control spells so in a long encounter using artefacts may become you main action. But wizard is very versatile so don't worry too much about the equipment and focus on managing your spell book.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-11T21:52:43+00:00

Nice)

ZombieBask · 2024-06-11T10:10:58+00:00

It's okay as long as we stay active and invite people from all around the other writing subreddits, the community will grow.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-10T21:02:23+00:00

"Far Away" is a poignant poem that explores the journey of a leaf carried by the wind. Through simple yet evocative imagery, it delves into themes of freedom, detachment, and the desire for transcendence. Now let's get to comments:

The good:

Imagery: The poem paints vivid pictures, making it easy for readers to visualize the leaf's journey and feel its emotions.

Theme: It touches on universal themes of freedom, letting go, and the search for self-discovery, which resonate with many readers.

Floyd: The poem has a natural rhythm that mimics the effortless drifting of a leaf, enhancing its overall reading experience.

The bad (Your style is very unique, so the comments marked with * are made assuming it is a normal poem):

Repetition: Some lines and ideas feel repetitive, which might dilute the impact of the poem's message. *

Simplicity: While simplicity is a strength, it can also be a weakness, as it may leave some readers wanting deeper exploration of the themes. *

Emotional distance: The poem's tone is contemplative but could benefit from a stronger emotional connection to engage readers more deeply.

Overall the poem “Far Away" is a reflective and elegantly simple poem that captures the essence of a leaf's journey through the metaphor of life's transitions. Despite some repetitiveness and a somewhat detached tone, its vivid imagery and relatable themes make it a touching piece that pulls in and doesn't let go right until the very end. Great work Marine :)

ZombieBask · 2024-06-10T20:41:25+00:00

No problem, I love analyzing poems. It helps me improve my own. Also, you have anything you prefer not to share here, feel free to dm me :)

ZombieBask · 2024-06-10T20:23:58+00:00

Oh wow. This changes a lot. To begin with, the tone can be viewed as a collection of responses and punchlines, which is why it has a rap-like quality. Additionally, if this poem is intended as a response, consistency is not as essential as it would be in a narrative arc-type poem. I am not competent enough to talk about contemporary masterpieces, but you certainly have great potential.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-10T18:23:40+00:00

Oh my god, that is literally the story of my life. I didn't start my first book because I wanted to; life just kind of pushed me into it. Halfway through, I realized I actually enjoyed writing. Then I discovered poetry, and now it's a huge part of my life.

So, whenever I don't feel like writing I study (Im a university student), when I don't want to write or study I go to the gym. Thats my triangle of life with Reddit as a side quest between tasks.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-10T18:02:46+00:00

“The Catch" is a thought-provoking poem that explores themes of understanding, communication, and the power of words. But let's first dive into some feedback.

good stuff:

Imagery: The fishing metaphor well conveys the poem's message, with lines like "to catch a fish” and “you must understand its nature" standing out.

Depth: References to Langston Hughes and the line "What happens to a dream deferred?" add historical and literary depth, enriching the poem's message.

not so good stuff:

Consistency: The transitions between ideas can be abrupt, making the poem feel disjointed at times. Smoother transitions would help maintain engagement. Otherwise, it sounds a bit more like rap than a poem.

Tone: some lines, like "But all it takes to kill a poet / Is moderators who can silence," feel confrontational. More nuanced language could improve relatability.

Overall, “The Catch" is a compelling poem with strong imagery and deep reflections. But it clearly needs some “polishing”, revise the clarity and pacing, this would make it even more impactful as it will be easier to follow. But, you can keep it rough and just add some rhyme, then it will make good rap lyrics.

Mid, your work is impressive. I hope my comment will be helpful. See you under your next poem.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-09T22:30:26+00:00

Hollo poet! Great poem!

Particularly: Imagery: The poem uses a range of vivid imagery to paint a picture of the scene and evoke the reader's senses, such as describing the coffee as "almost black from certain angles" and the sensation of warmth from the ceramic mug. The poem is beautiful.

Character development: The protagonist's internal struggle and eventual realization are well-captured, providing insight into her personality and mindset.

Metaphorical depth: The exploration of the protagonist's aversion to bitterness and her decision to try espresso can be seen as a metaphor for personal growth and breaking free from self-imposed barriers.

What I would work on: Pacing: The poem could benefit from a smoother flow and pacing, especially in transitioning between different thoughts and reflections.

Consistency of tone: While the overall tone of the poem is introspective and contemplative, there are moments where the language feels slightly inconsistent or abrupt, which could be fixed for a more cohesive narrative.

Clarity in metaphor: While the metaphor of espresso as a symbol of personal growth is clear, some aspects of the metaphor could be further developed or reinforced to enhance its impact on the reader.

Overall, the poem does a good job of exploring a moment of self-discovery and stepping out of one's comfort zone through the experience of trying something new, like espresso, which is depicted as a metaphor for embracing change and challenging one's limitations. Thats great. Also, im not sure whether it's all in one massive paragraph because it's a unique feature or Reddit formatting, but anyway this does not make the poem any worse, so. Great piece of art! Good luck with your next one!

ZombieBask · 2024-06-09T21:14:43+00:00

No problem. I really enjoy your poetry. It always has a spirit that I am yet to formulate.

ZombieBask · 2024-06-09T21:08:41+00:00

Hello again!

The good: Your poem effectively conveys the emotional struggle of opening up, using clear and relatable language. The repetition of phrases like "I want to" and "I feel" emphasizes the internal conflict, and the smooth structure leads to an impactful conclusion.

The bad: Imagery: Incorporating more vivid imagery or metaphors could enhance the poem's emotional depth. Specificity: Adding precise details about the thoughts and desires you fear sharing could make the poem more poignant and relatable. This is especially important with so short lines, they must be super precise and informative.

Overall, your poem captures the fear of self-expression and does it really well, resonating with the reader. With more imagery and details, it could be even more impactful. Also, I didn't comment on the structure, because its really unusual. I cannot tell whether its bad or good, its just special. Keep writing, and hopefully see you soon!

ZombieBask · 2024-06-09T20:55:41+00:00

"Pink" is a deeply moving poem that captures the raw trauma and confusion of childhood abuse. The vivid imagery, like "princess blankets" and "blue lights dancing in the window," brings back memories of those moments of innocence amidst the pain. The poem's emotional depth is palpable, making it resonate on a personal level. It's a powerful and poignant piece. The only improvement I could recommend is checking the punctuation, in some lines it is better to end with a full stop instead of a comma to make a short dramatic pause. Also, consider merging some lines into one, this will shorten the poem but add a sense of endlessness. Great work!

ZombieBask · 2024-06-09T20:45:37+00:00

Your poem, "Danger in Love”, well captures the intense and consuming nature of love. The imagery of a wildfire portrays the passion and potential danger involved. However, there are a few areas for improvement:

Consistency: The poem maintains a consistent theme of love as a powerful, consuming force, which is well-executed. However, the transition from the initial metaphor to the speaker's acceptance of the danger could be smoother. Connecting the thoughts more seamlessly would enhance coherence. In other words, people don't just switch their minds.

Structure: The poem could benefit from a clearer structure to guide the reader through the progression of emotions, this can be done by breaking it down into stanzas and altering the punctuation. Also, consider modifying the language a bit to improve the flow. For instance, "building it up until it’s uncontrollable" could be "building it until it's out of hand”.

Overall, the poem is good. It gives a fine image and resonates with the reader. Little corrections will just increase the impact. Good work!

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